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Showing results for tags '1980s'.
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517. Three things for interns to to remember
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Uncle Joe always inserts into his lectures during his intern classes at Loveless Motel "Three things to remember" and teaches this module as a class participation activity, and asks this particular class of nine men to form 3 groups of three by counting off "1,2 or 3" "I'm going to assign each group one thing to remember, and it's your task to illustrate to the class what each thing means and an easy way to remember it. "Snap" Wadmacher will take a photo of each group showing us your interpretation. Here's the list! " Okay number ones - here's your theme: 1. Always wear clean underwear, in the event you need to go the hospital unexpectedly, so that you don't bring shame on your family. Number twos - show us this: 2. A little brush with olive oil makes for a tasty crust on your buns. And finally, number threes - 3. Don't fill your plate too hastily. In this house, we always make sure there's enough to go around for everybody to eat. "Yes, Mother Joe"-
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Loveless Motel is gearing up for a wet and wild season by interviewing for Lifeguard positions for both Lake Loveless and our pool. Aspirants should join other interested men at the old hangar located in the Motor Pool area for a whistle blowing demonstration to be held soon, followed by a lecture on best blowing practices, recognizing situations in which blowing is the best course of action, and how to recover from an unsuccessful blow. You may bring your own whistle (please, no slide whistles or kazoos) or you may purchase a plastic souvenir gag whistle at a nominal cost, from the remaining stock of those offered at last year's popular Lunch and Learn lecture in the Grab-Basket Conference Room, "The the subtle differences between sucking and blowing" Whistles are randomly incised with either "Blow me at the Loveless Motel pool" or "I got blown at Loveless Motel" or "I got thrown out of the Loveless Motel Pool for blowing this whistle"
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494. Taking the Gloves off at After Midnight Arcade
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Does he or doesn't he? Come meet our peroxide pugilist and find out at After Midnight Arcade, open 24 hours a day, every day off the lobby at Loveless Motel. As a promotion, Francois will be demonstrating in person and signing autographs with his gloves on. What else would you like to see him do? If you wave some poppers under his nose, he'll take off the gloves, put some lube in one, fuck it, cum for you and sell you the glove for 50 bucks. You can buy him a new set of gloves for 20 bucks if somebody else beats you to the punch. -
Ticklers Lounge at Loveless Motel, located off the lobby, has a pretty strict dress code: coat and tie, and if you aren't wearing a coat, they have a few in the back they will loan you for an evening. Invariably, after a sultry evening of showtunes and pop laden with testosterone and queerness, like "My Boy Bill", "Mad About the Boy", "Secret Love", "We Kiss in a Shadow", and even "YMCA", sung in 12 part harmony around a piano that smells like scotch spilled on tweed and pinstriped wool, with a smoke chaser, it becomes more than a man can take and after last call and so the doors are locked for the few who want to remain behind. Though the suits stay on, the zippers come down. Some of these guys have been brought here by their employers as part of an extended interview process. "Are you able to speak in front of an audience? Are you outgoing - a bit of an extrovert? Do you enjoy showing gratitude in public?" These are questions a candidate for employment might well be asked, and should be prepared to demonstrate. Suits rule the economy, the social structure and stratosphere, and sexual hierarchy. Yes, cowboys and leathermen, you can only come in if you're on your knees and you put on that jacket.
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470. Yesteryear's Queers' Word of the Day #53 - Bear
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Bear A large and/or hairy gay man -1980s- In 1979 Advocate published a satirical article by writer George Mazzei, entitled "Who's Who in the Zoo" which assigned, via the illustrations of cartoonist Gerald Donelan, animal bodies to several types of gay men, including bears, owls, cats, dogs, marmosets and swans. Not long thereafter, in 1987 Richard Bulger and Chris Nelson founded Bear Magazine which included models which fit the physical description. Jack Radcliffe was an early model who epitomized the ideal "muscle bear" with a full and solid hairy body and handsome bearded face. -
Loveless Motel has placed this note on your door this morning because we expect things to be a bit windy today. We recommend not going out during the morning hours, and as a safety precaution, all patio furniture has been temporarily stored until after the dinner hour.
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460. You'll have to drag me out of here! - Monday Motivational
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
It's raining - it's Monday. He had a little too much to drink and stayed up late - Who the fuck wants to work? Psycho Randy gets a call at the front desk from one of the Birdwhistle Tearoom waiters who says he's feeling poorly, and Randy knows better - its the same kid he saw peering through a gloryhole at him over at the Bunkhouse at 1AM this morning. Randy was just there to take a piss, and ignored the kid, but Birdwhistle Tearoom patrons aren't gonna ignore the fact that he's MIA , when they're told they're waiting on the waiter! Not on his watch! He pops his head into Nic's office saying he needs coverage and why, and Nic says "Go give the little fucker some motivation to get his ass to work!" Randy's gonna march right over to the kid's room and give him a piece of his mind, and a bit of ... motivation ... with the back of his hand, and "get his ass to work" before he even walks out of his room. Knock Knock - who's there? - The kid? "All's well that ends well" His plan to have a little Randy in morning worked well. -
443. Nationwide Manhunt Successful - new House Dick hired
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Loveless Motel is happy to announce that we have filled our House Detective position. Harrison Biggerstaff (just Harry to you) checked all the right boxes on his application and will enhance our compliance team greatly. "Drilling down to the core of the matter, I always get my man" said Harry in his interview. Just so you know, he's unspoken for, and in his free time, collects antique porcelain, loves sports, and calls himself "a bit of a fashion whore". He's eager to get to work by going undercover to catch that jockstrap thief for starters. The head of our personnel department vouches for Harry's skills. "He knows how to get to the root of the matter." -
424. Will U. Bonus joins Loveless Motel Staff
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
A frequent guest of Loveless Motel for many years, Mr. Will U. Bonus has agreed to enter into a contractual arrangement with the firm as Manager of Hard Tack General Store, the second hand cowboy and leather boutique adjacent to the Bunkhouse. In his capacity as manager of that facility, he'll also take on the task of wrangling the work-release program, mentoring men who have been contingently released from the Hoosegow in order to repay their debt to Loveless Motel. Will's credentials include nearly making it through Wharton's School of the University of Pennsylvania, and having been the accountant of a moderately sized used furniture store which released him from its staff due to an unjustified accusation of mishandling estate sales, in particular those of elderly widowed men with sizable endowments (in the bank). "I just love the get and give of mentorship," says Will, after a week on the job. The Management of Loveless Motel congratulates Mr. Bonus on his appointment. -
397. Weren't you at Birdwhistle's Tearoom last night?
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
The possibilities are endless at Loveless Motel. The area between the Silver Bullet Bar and The Stables is a guest favorite for good old fashioned outdoor cruising in the woods. That guy you were eyeing last night at dinner, 3 tables over in Birdwhistle's Tearoom (located off the lobby) is suddenly right in front of you, and after oh-so-brief small talk ("Weren't you at Birdwhistle's Tearoom last night?" "Yeah but I left before dessert"), he's on his knees, asking for dessert. He's looking up at you, his mouth stuffed, while you guide him and keep him focused with your hand on the back of his head. And you're drawing an audience... -
376. Can't wait to get to Loveless Motel!
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Literally, these guys just can't wait to get to Loveless. The whole point of the trip was privacy, a pool, sauna, new friends, new experiences, but it looks like car head is inevitable, and that 2 night room guarantee deposit is non-refundable. Fuel is not cheap this year at 65 cents a gallon. And deposits, as it turns out, cum in all kinds of flavors -
Guests making their way over to the Motor Pool at Loveless Motel will find that the garage closes down at 7PM and is dedicated to an alcohol-free play zone, under the supervision of the Head Mechanic and chief hose handler, "Sparky" McMasterson. Admission is free, and Sparky says no one leaves without being glad he came.
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349. Certified Hustlers available at Loveless Truckstop
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
You might even hit a dry spell at Loveless Truckstop. When just about all your goodbuddies are still on the road and you get that itch, you might encounter a bit of trade dressed like a trucker, and be fooled. No problem! Just ask to see a Certified Hustler card, issued by Loveless Motel. These men offer the best thing next to a full guarantee that you won't be taken for the wrong kind of ride. Satisfaction is nearly always guaranteed, and you can always say "no thanks". In that case, just take a walk over to the Silver Bullet bar or the Stables area behind the Motel for a little bonding for free. -
323. Meet our Construction Projects Manager, Rock Blockhead
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Rock Blockhead has been the Construction Manager at Loveless Motel since 1989 and has recently lead the conversion process of the Loveless Truck Stop. He also is responsible for ensuring that men who fail to complete our intern program repay their debt for food and lodging by working it off prior to leaving the property. He can often be seen over at the Malamute Saloon on his day off, hobnobbing with Sheriff Buff N. McBuff, looking for subject matter for his documentary photography hobby, in the hopes of hobbing as many nobs as possible. -
At this rate, these gents may not need to visit the clubs at Loveless Motel - their suite seems to be well stocked for an evening's entertainment.
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325. Blondes DO have more fun at Loveless Motel
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Proving the Clairol commercials are true, these blonde city boys have chucked their high-rise offices in favor of their low rise speedos and rented a camera from Shutter Bug Camera Shop to document their weekend, where they can get their collection developed in less than two hours. So can you, at Loveless Motel! -
8 Ball Bar at Loveless Motel is nothing if not the obvious place to be obvious. Is he a townie who just wandered in, or is he a Loveless Motel Certified Hustler? Ask to see his card, or take a walk on the wild side. Your choice.
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Hump day survivors clean up at The Tubs, located in the Basement of the Bunkhouse at Loveless Motel
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291. Happy to give directions for your incoming stay
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
"Thanks for calling Loveless Motel Booking Department - What are you wearing?" Previous guests are familiar with the provocative greeting. Our booking office phone room is at the ready to assist with your every pre-arrival need, 24 hours day. Our late night shift is handled by just two men, and invariably there are times when there may be a hold, especially when the conversation turns to wardrobe.-
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Loveless Motel is aware of the slow progress our contractors are making on recent improvements to the property, and it is unnecessary to report work slowdown observations, especially if you have participated in some of the causes for the slowdown.
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Interns at Loveless Motel go through a rigorous training, often arriving at the property prior to the beginning of classes to seek out their fellow classmates. Study sessions can often be long and hard, but fulfilling and mutually beneficial as well. Cramming for exams is a time honored tradition, often carried out right in the conference rooms which are made available for any after hours cramming. Instructors often volunteer to lead, as all our instructors were once interns themselves, and therefore excellent crammers.
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276. Internship - Rewards and Punishments
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Every new class of interns at Loveless Motel has its stars and its class clowns. From time to time our mentors/training facilitators have to make a public example of a young man who needs to get with the program. More often than not, the result is a mutual respect and understanding which leads to a deeper relationship while intern and mentor plumb the depths of possibilities in private one on one sessions."Uncle Joe" is one such mentor who came to us as a young intern in the 1950s and has made a career of putting his finger on and developing an intern's best assets.-
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Psycho Randy the desk clerk has finally reported in, and said that during one of the rope demonstrations he was handed a cocktail, and the next thing he knew, he awakened in his staff bedroom with his ankles and wrists with red marks around them, when a tall black guy walked in from the living room totally naked and asked if ne needed any additional plumbing services, and laughed. Randy thought about it for a couple seconds, and decided he could wear a long sleeve shirt to work, and didn't mind standing through his shift.
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It's last call on Saturday night and Mr. Right didn't show up, and Mr. Right Now just walked out with a willing pillow biter. Don't forget, the Party Line at Loveless Motel is open 24 hours a day, staffed by our eager phone men to keep the party rolling. Guests booked into any accommodation get the first 5 minutes of a call absolutely free, and additional minutes at a rate that won't break the bank. Call 1-900-LUVLESS now! What are YOU wearing?
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