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Nic the Senior Manager of Loveless Motel called a leadership meeting this week to talk about drumming up business in its entertainment category, since lately Footlight Fairies Cabaret has suffered poor attendance due to some issues remaining from the Cat Show debacle. It seems half the drag queens have allergies and the dander remaining especially from the long haired pussies has caused half the chorus and one headliner to be down for the count. Bobbie Frapples, the show's lead, bravely attempted to carry a show on her own recently, but reactively coughed up so much mucous during her first number that she ruined the sequin gown she was wearing; the stage had to be squeegeed, and then and dusted with a non-slip agent (a cannister of Comet ) for the show to continue, causing customers to complain that everything, including cocktails, tasted or smelled like bleach. Not to be deterred, Nic is determined to overcome the slump, and out of their conversations, leadership has come up with an event, and is pondering a Military Ball of sorts. Junior Manager Taylor from Dallas said it best, coughing, grinning and clutching his package, barely contained in his pleated khaki pants, rhetorically asking "Who doesn't like uniform balls?" A swelling contingent of lads from nearby Camp Betsy Ross is sure to be interested, Nic believes, and if timed well, the pageant could coincide with the annual gush of seamen shooting to arrive during Fleet Week. Nic has given the publicity team, under the direction of Callum Z Blabber, the green light to develop advertising for the event. Also on the meeting agenda was an update on the status of the class of interns from Tuba City, Arizona - the group who, though certainly checking the box of "hot" by any measure, turned out to be pretty dim otherwise, as evidenced by their lack of survival skills at Nutbush Campground. Jack Leyendecker, the talent and intern recruiter shouldered the blame, but Nic made light of the situation and complimented him on his overall performance, citing fate and anomaly as the true culprits. The decision had come down to terminating eight intern contracts, and placing them all into the hands of Will U. Bonus as conscriptees until their debt is paid, working off the expense of their training. Uncle Joe pointed out that because of their crazy conspiracy-laden ideas, it would be best to isolate them from guests and the rest of the staff, making sure they are all housed in one dorm at the bunkhouse, or in a trailer (Nic raised his eyebrows at the Aluminum City suggestion, referencing further loss of revenue if they were to take out of inventory a money maker like a trailer). They then settled on a cabin at the campground, and KP duty at the chuck wagon there to keep them occupied. The final solution for the clusterfuck of vapid young Arizona John Birchers will be to deliver them all sooner than later for basic training to the Army Recruiter in town, who along with half of the local draft board, happens to be a regular at the Tubs located in the Bunkhouse at Loveless Motel, and will be a key contact for drumming up interest at Camp Betsy Ross for the upcoming Military Ball.

Yesterday was the big day - Loveless Motel has been working for months creating a campground to expand its spring, summer and fall accommodations and despite a forecast of rain, the big parade started off at the Motorpool, as promised. Hard Tack manager Will U Bonus kilted up to pipe the assembled crowd into the campground, the parade winding down past the Bunkhouse, through the newly constructed archway. On the shores of the campground swimming hole, a lone player answers Will's call. A drum and brass trio escorted a solid line of VW campers through the Nutbush Campground arch, and the day was off to a perfect start.

Uncle Joe always inserts into his lectures during his intern classes at Loveless Motel "Three things to remember" and teaches this module as a class participation activity, and asks this particular class of nine men to form 3 groups of three by counting off "1,2 or 3" "I'm going to assign each group one thing to remember, and it's your task to illustrate to the class what each thing means and an easy way to remember it. "Snap" Wadmacher will take a photo of each group showing us your interpretation. Here's the list! " Okay number ones - here's your theme: 1. Always wear clean underwear, in the event you need to go the hospital unexpectedly, so that you don't bring shame on your family. Number twos - show us this: 2. A little brush with olive oil makes for a tasty crust on your buns. And finally, number threes - 3. Don't fill your plate too hastily. In this house, we always make sure there's enough to go around for everybody to eat. "Yes, Mother Joe"

Since the closure of the Laundry Room guests have expressed concern that they have been taken to the cleaners on two counts. The price of having laundry taken into town for dry-cleaning is exorbitant, and, they claim, the price of second hand clothing at Hard Tack General Store is being artificially jacked up to milk stranded vacationers out of money they would otherwise spend in the shops, bars and restaurants at Loveless Motel. In an effort to mitigate the situation, instead of being released from the Hoosegow into the custody of Hardtack Manager and Work Release coordinator Will U. Bonus, rule breakers will now do laundry duty in the abandoned early 20th century laundry building on the shores of Lake Loveless, where they will be supervised by interns, none of whom has been trained in the proper care of sequins, lame' or other disco apparel in general. This scheme was the brainchild of Uncle Joe, who has assured Nic the Senior Manager that guests will be asked to sign specific laundry-related waivers, and none of the interns will be used who were involved with the recent soft opening of Loveless Campground, except for being hung out to dry. The entire enterprise will be short-lived anyway, as the fate of the Laundry Room and the 8 Ball Bar has been decided by the Love-Whistle Inc. Board of Directors. As of next week, crews will begin demolition of the wall separating the two spaces. Combined, the new space will offer beer, billiards and a coin op laundry, and be rechristened "The Dirty Pool Bar"

Jack Leyendecker, talent scout for Loveless Motel's intern program, made a trip to Tuba City, Arizona on a tip he received from an old friend that there was a cluster of young men there who showed promise and he might be able to fill half his quota in one stop. These fellows were all enrolled at the local community college voc/tech school, all had been members of the same basket ball team in high school, and continued their gamesmanship in weekend get togethers at a local desert ranch under the guiding hand of the auto mechanic instructor there. The end of the term and their training completed, Jack conducted interviews and convinced eight of them to come to Loveless Motel as interns, with the opportunity to have practical experience in the Motor Pool, and learn a bit about the hospitality industry, to boot. Naturally the men congregated together, and even stayed in one small dorm in the Bunkhouse where they interacted with some of the guests, attended classes, but kept largely to themselves. Talk soon began among the other members of the class that the Arizona lads had some interesting, nay, weird fucking notions. Uncle Joe, Loveless Motel's chief classroom facilitator and disciplinarian, had encountered them hunched around a beach ball one afternoon during a class break, and learned they had never seen one before except in Annette Funicello movies, since they'd all grown up in the desert. Seemingly amazed by the sight of it, they rolled, poked and prodded the ball around the pool deck, and Joe opened the conversation with them as he approached the group by saying "Have you ever seen the movie "The Dictator", where Hitler bounces a beach ball Earth off his ass?" And from out of nowhere, one of the beach ball gazers says "The Earth ain't round - it's flat". The other guys laughed, and one chimed in "He's a nut job, don't mind him, Uncle Joe. We all know the earth ain't flat." and then out of the same mouth "same as we all know Ike was a commie, just like we learned in Automatic Transmission Class". Uncle Joe replied "Looks like the John Birch Society is alive and well in Tuba City!" to which the kid says "How'd you know?" Fuck fuck fuck. Joe thought to himself...and I have to take these guys camping. "Okay guys, let's get showered and then it's back to class."

Despite the best efforts of our Intern Onboarding classes and instructors, sometimes a candidate just doesn't work out. Experience tells us that we really have to watch it when tapping blondes for our programming. A prime example is seen here; a classic difference between the literal and the figurative. Never tell a blonde already struggling with basic concepts to "get a move on" - that structure is going nowhere. Luckily, we have a successful offboarding process in which a man can work off the time and money we have spent on him, and he'll have a choice of joining the housekeeping staff until his debt is paid, or becoming a Certified Hustler (pending the outcome of a rigorous interview process), in which case his debt may be forgiven, or reduced.

The waterfall at the Tubs in the basement of The Bunkhouse has been temporarily shut off for a couple days to repair a leak in the grotto pool. Contractors have quickly assessed the damage and workers are taking as few breaks as possible to insure the feature is restored to full working capacity in time for the influx of guests expected in the last 2 weeks of the year. Only the most necessary activities of the crew are being sanctioned by the management. When Nic, Loveless Motel Senior manager called the contractor's office and told the secretary "We've gotta leak in our basement", she replied, "Go ahead, sir - it's your basement!" She's been replaced by a promising young intern sent over my Nic.

The Board of Directors of the Love-Whistle Inc. has decided to keep Loveless Motel Senior Manager Nic, recognizing all his hard work. Nic, a definite ass man who loves to fuck it and have his eaten, has asked one of his current favorite interns to his suite to help him celebrate by showing the boss some gratitude. Psycho Randy and Snap Wadmacher helped film the party.

Returning guests know that Loveless Motel pulls out all the stops for its annual poolside Christmas Pageant, This year is no exception. Interns have been busy with just oodles of pink tule to make Santa's reindeer appear as though they are floating on clouds of cotton candy. Our fella on the far side of the pool in the middle is poised to plug in the Christmas Star, and we hope he doesn't fall in! How shocking would that be?! Don't try this at home.

The winter class of interns has arrived at Loveless Motel and is now training for 2 weeks in the Grab Basket Conference Room, located off the lobby. Our instructor's a hands on guy who will take a personal interest in the progress of each of these men who are eager to learn the ins and outs of the hospitality industry.

All of our interns must attend a class on their first day at Loveless Motel called Lose Your Inhibitions. Many of the rural guys have never been to a disco, and our city guests insist on our staff being up to date on the latest trends. Loveless Motel is no place for wallflowers. In this case, a Chubby Checker record is selected and a volunteer is asked to shed his outfit in front of the class and demonstrate the Twist in the buff. One by one, the others seem to always join in.

Rock Blockhead has been the Construction Manager at Loveless Motel since 1989 and has recently lead the conversion process of the Loveless Truck Stop. He also is responsible for ensuring that men who fail to complete our intern program repay their debt for food and lodging by working it off prior to leaving the property. He can often be seen over at the Malamute Saloon on his day off, hobnobbing with Sheriff Buff N. McBuff, looking for subject matter for his documentary photography hobby, in the hopes of hobbing as many nobs as possible.

Interns at Loveless Motel go through a rigorous training, often arriving at the property prior to the beginning of classes to seek out their fellow classmates. Study sessions can often be long and hard, but fulfilling and mutually beneficial as well. Cramming for exams is a time honored tradition, often carried out right in the conference rooms which are made available for any after hours cramming. Instructors often volunteer to lead, as all our instructors were once interns themselves, and therefore excellent crammers.

Every new class of interns at Loveless Motel has its stars and its class clowns. From time to time our mentors/training facilitators have to make a public example of a young man who needs to get with the program. More often than not, the result is a mutual respect and understanding which leads to a deeper relationship while intern and mentor plumb the depths of possibilities in private one on one sessions."Uncle Joe" is one such mentor who came to us as a young intern in the 1950s and has made a career of putting his finger on and developing an intern's best assets.

Loveless Motel is proud to announce that it has acquired the trailer court directly next door, all existing owners have been bought out, and we will start booking accommodations in 10 of the trailers immediately. The property has a pool, bar, shuffleboard court, and social hall. Some of the trailers will be dedicated to housing interns and employees. We look forward to this new expansion. The Vagabond Bar at Aluminum City Lovers Lane at Aluminum City

Two of our office staff at Loveless Motel work off some of the stress of a weekly meeting. One of our recent interns was overheard to say "It sure beats the Welcome Wagon"

Interns learn rules for success in business and in life. Loveless Motel Rule number 25 - Take your time before getting ready for the day. Press down, thrust up.

One of our interns, Cliff, has been assigned to the Bunkhouse for the season, to make sure the men there are having an experience worthy of the reputation of Loveless Motel. He's ready, willing and able to do anything to make your stay memorable - and we mean anything. Internship is a key component of Loveless Motel's strategy to bring new ideas and energy into the workplace, develop talent and potentially build a pipeline for future full-time employees. Apply today!

These groovy guys are celebrating passing their internship exams. They're ready for a red-hot summer at Loveless Motel.

We're hiring at Loveless Motel! More particularly, we have opened up our internship in preparation for another busy summer at Loveless Motel. The perfect candidate will be a handsome recent college graduate who looks good in a suit, will be willing to do just about any task asked of him, and work for room and board with a stipend of 100 dollars for the three month summer term. Write and include three recent full frontal polaroids, one in your suit, and two showing your credentials. Photos become the property of Loveless Motel.