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It isn't every day that one of our Certified Hustlers at Loveless Motel has good luck twice on the same day. So Irving here says he walked into Dick Blunt's Smoke Shop and Lottery Tickets, bought a pack of reds and a couple scratch tickets and BAM, one of them produced a $75 winner! So it's his day off and he decides to catch a bus to town and BAM, a flush business-type townie needs to get fucked real bad. Lucky Irving, lucky townie! Fucking Marlboro Reds! Talk about a busman's holiday!

8 Ball Bar at Loveless Motel is nothing if not the obvious place to be obvious. Is he a townie who just wandered in, or is he a Loveless Motel Certified Hustler? Ask to see his card, or take a walk on the wild side. Your choice.

Our talented mechanics are at the ready to handle your most pressing needs at a moment's notice. Stop by today to tour the facility. We're told they are running a special on decorative suicide knobs - ask for Rod.

Early risers at Loveless Motel can witness lifeguard training this morning and tomorrow morning at the beach at Lake Loveless. In this example of last month's training exercise, the lifeguard pictured took so much time putting on his flippers that the fully clothed "guest" who had fallen out of a canoe drowned. We commend the lifeguard, however, on being able to keep is cheaters on during the entire ordeal.

The Garbage man comes early to Loveless Motel. We're the first stop on his run - you'll hear the truck around 6AM if you're booked in room 222. He likes his coffee black and you've got 15 minutes.

Exciting new sheets will be distributed to several units this week by our eager-to-please housekeeping staff at Loveless Motel

A good tanline is always a nice contrast to a naturally swarthy slab, but is nearly outdone by a winning smile. Come show us your tanline at Happy Hour this evening, at Loveless Motel.

You might think Loveless Motel guests have a secret handshake greeting. While we can't confirm or deny, what's a little crotch grabbing between new friends?

If strawberry blonde is a favorite, we've got you covered. Stop by Shutter Bug Camera Shop and see our currently available models for your perfect in-room photo shoot. For the record, his name is Ginger Rogers. We kid you not! Forgot your camera? We've got that covered too - for a slight upcharge. Rates upon request. He can be had for a song.