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Showing results for tags 'outdoors'.
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521. Making memories at Nutbush Campground
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Opening weekend seems to have gone off without a hitch at Nutbush Campground at Loveless Motel. Many campers took the time to explore the trails, and Snap Wadmacher of Shutter Bug Camera Shop tagged along and got some great shots of our nature lovers' activities. Paying customers can expect to have their photos arrive in plain brown mailers soon, (with a return address of "Fishing Camp") to the addresses provided to the check-in desk upon registration. This, of course, may present a challenge for a few men, who upon receiving the news that their picture packs may fall into the hands of mothers or wives, can rest assured that if they choose instead to cancel their orders that their pictures will be sold in our shops to paying customers in order to recoup the cost of goods and Snap's time, and be part of the annual Big Book of Deadbeats sold during the holiday season here in the shops at Loveless Motel and by mail order via advertisements found in smutty magazines in arcades and adult book shops across the land. -
Loveless Motel has placed this note on your door this morning because we expect things to be a bit windy today. We recommend not going out during the morning hours, and as a safety precaution, all patio furniture has been temporarily stored until after the dinner hour.
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461. President's Day weekend was monumental!
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
A group of intrepid Loveless Motel habitués have taken it upon themselves to begin to create an outdoor sculpture garden of sorts in an area cordoned off for the purpose at Nutbush Campground. President's Day Weekend's weather was brisk but cooperative as the time was chosen to start on a project with that patriotic theme in mind. Asked if they might be taking on a bit much, one of the amateur chiselers explained that while the process certainly seemed daunting, one only had to remember the first principle of sculpting. The object being used to bore into a medium to be sculpted must be harder than the medium itself. Two of the other men who agreed offered to demonstrate this boring technique of hard tools drilling into pliant mounds on the spot, even though they were some distance away from their destination, and without usual sculptor's chiseling tools. But in the end we were all grateful for their eye-opening efforts and eventually all took turns practicing on each other, all the while trying hard not to think about the old playground joke about trying to fuck a bull with a wet noodle.-
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You might well imagine that Loveless Motel doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day. Faithless Lodger! Of course we do! But we also recognize the difference between recreational sex, romance and love! So here's hoping you receive a bit of all of that whenever you need to, but if you stay with us, there's virtually no way that you wouldn't receive at least one out of three. So from our founders, Edgar Loveless and Sinjin Birdwhistle, to Booboo and Yogi, Happy Valentine's Day
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446. Sometimes interns don't work out...
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Despite the best efforts of our Intern Onboarding classes and instructors, sometimes a candidate just doesn't work out. Experience tells us that we really have to watch it when tapping blondes for our programming. A prime example is seen here; a classic difference between the literal and the figurative. Never tell a blonde already struggling with basic concepts to "get a move on" - that structure is going nowhere. Luckily, we have a successful offboarding process in which a man can work off the time and money we have spent on him, and he'll have a choice of joining the housekeeping staff until his debt is paid, or becoming a Certified Hustler (pending the outcome of a rigorous interview process), in which case his debt may be forgiven, or reduced. -
Don't be the guy who's embarrassed at the crucial moment when he says "Get those legs up in the air!" Loveless Motel has the solution: let our popular yoga instructor, Mr. Stretch N. Spreadam teach you how to attain the most complicated positions with ease. Meet Stretch on the pool deck every odd calendar day, and in the evenings at Ticklers Lounge where he is a bar back
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429. Big Bones found during Nutbush Campground excavation
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Excavations are continuing on Nutbush Campground out behind Aluminum City. Guest interest has piqued when it was rumored that big bones were being talked about in relation to the work crew seen accessing the property in the early morning hours. A few of the men have apparently been seen using the urinals and stalls at Loveless Truck Stop, spending a little more time than is necessary for just pissing. But in fact, the biggest news is that a REALLY big bone has been found while clearing a wooded area for a picnic pavilion at the campground. A local amateur paleontologist and weekend ossuarian tells us that we have found a dinosaur bone millions of years old and as big as a man! We are currently in discussions about what to do with it. Options from displaying it in the lobby to cutting it into small bits and selling them as souvenirs, with engravings such as "I got boned at Loveless Motel" have been discussed. Also on the list of possibilities is to have rubber facsimiles made to be sold at Toys for Boys, located off the lobby.-
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428. Loveless Motel builds Nutbush Campground
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
In the spirit of continually offering new experiences for our guests, and in keeping with our roots, going back to the hunting lodge first built by founders Edgar Loveless and Sinjin Birdwhistle, Loveless Motel announces commencement of the construction of Nutbush Campground at Loveless Motel. Crews are hard at work, and despite that perpetual priapic state, they are still getting a lot done, and with our temperate winter weather, we project an opening date of early spring. Located in the rustic area just beyond the back of Aluminum City, and roughly adjacent to the area of The Stables and the Silver Bullet Bar, the project will complete the vision of fun in the outdoors, including cabins, tent sites, and plenty of nature trails, as well as a camp store, communal showers and latrines.-
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422. Jock and denim thief on the loose
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Guests of the Bunkhouse have been lodging complaints for a few days now regarding stolen jock straps and jeans that have gone missing when using the communal showers there. Cowboys over at The Stables can really work up a sweat what with showing city boys the ropes and all, and it's just a natural thing for a cowboy to want to lather up with his buds while hanging his duds in a place they ought to be secure. The mystery is deepened and particularly concerning, as some of the cowboys have been working on ripening their jocks for months, and the prospect of going into town looking for new jockstraps doesn't thrill anyone except maybe the salesmen in the JCPenney or Sears men's clothing departments, though some of the cowboys don't complain too much if they get hold of a townie who wants to provide a personal fitting. -
367. Reminder - Christmas Tree going up in the lobby tonight!
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Guests at Loveless Motel are invited annually to decorate their room doors and may purchase various holiday decor, including popular Christmas trees and decorative balls at Hit and Split, our convenience store located off the lobby. Too busy to decorate it yourself? Hire one of our staff members to attend to your specific requests. -
397. Weren't you at Birdwhistle's Tearoom last night?
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
The possibilities are endless at Loveless Motel. The area between the Silver Bullet Bar and The Stables is a guest favorite for good old fashioned outdoor cruising in the woods. That guy you were eyeing last night at dinner, 3 tables over in Birdwhistle's Tearoom (located off the lobby) is suddenly right in front of you, and after oh-so-brief small talk ("Weren't you at Birdwhistle's Tearoom last night?" "Yeah but I left before dessert"), he's on his knees, asking for dessert. He's looking up at you, his mouth stuffed, while you guide him and keep him focused with your hand on the back of his head. And you're drawing an audience... -
378. Suit Up Sale just in time for Sweater Weather
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Mr. Billy Swallows and his assistant Dante' DeWitt have told us they have a new shipment of sweaters for the cool weather. Suit Up, the mens' atelier at Loveless Motel, is located off the lobby. This graphic example should prove to be one of the season's most popular.-
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348. Park it by the night, week or month - Loveless Truckstop
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Once you see our facilities, you may decide to make Loveless Truckstop your future home away from home. You can park your rig for any length of time. Full hookups are available for nightly stays, and long term storage is available too. And if all you want is a quick meal and some stimulating conversation, you've found the right place. -
339. Well, Tie me up and sing to me!
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
In lieu of cattle, cowboys at Loveless often practice their roping skills on random passersby over near The Stables, and as any real cowboy knows, there are three things you should never leave home without. Your rope and your guitar.-
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331. Indian Summer at Loveless Motel
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
At Loveless Motel, we sadly said goodbye to summer right on schedule - the last week of the month turned chilly and all the fun was indoors. Last weekend, October decided to turn up the heat and so we are currently experiencing Indian Summer in our neck of the woods, out around the Silver Bullet Bar, where there are loads of woodland creatures soaking up the sun, and looking for adventure. Fast friends are a sure thing at Loveless Motel. -
325. Blondes DO have more fun at Loveless Motel
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Proving the Clairol commercials are true, these blonde city boys have chucked their high-rise offices in favor of their low rise speedos and rented a camera from Shutter Bug Camera Shop to document their weekend, where they can get their collection developed in less than two hours. So can you, at Loveless Motel! -
317. You put your RIGHT foot in and you shake it all about…
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
The Hokey Pokey A foursome of fellows staying in one of our Fireplace Suites at Loveless Motel practices their act for the Fall Follies at Footlight Fairies Cabaret. As a point of information, Group act contestants in the Fall Follies are scored on cohesion and the ability to follow simple directions. Your RIGHT foot. It appears our blonde is compliant. Judges are not blonde. -
315. Out in the bushes around the Silver Bullet Bar
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Daytime cruising in the area around the Silver Bullet Bar attracts a lot of cowboys, and often some of the hired hands who wander over on their lunch break from The Stables at Loveless Motel. Wanna be the man in the middle? -
312. Trailer Trash Tryst - Aluminum City Exhibitionism
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
As these men are illustrating, pretty much anything goes at Aluminum City, Loveless Motel's trailer park next door to the motel. Several acres of pristine landscaping dotted by the most up to date Trailer Homes are the perfect location for your next party. Book a tin can today! -
306. Celebrity Guests at Loveless Motel
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Loveless Motel is the favorite vacation spot of several high profile Hollywood Types who often arrive incognito, often checking in under pseudonyms. Mr. Biff McTosser is a recent example. Shown here, he executes the secret wave known to only some of those at Loveless Motel, which translated means, "Hi there - don't I know you from the Mauve Tavern?" Psycho Randy is beside himself...nearly passed out when Biff checked in. -
If tight, fresh and low hangers are your thing, feast your eyes. Summer is time for our Tanline and Tush contest at the lake at Loveless Motel. The winner gets a lickin'
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faggot Wolfgang Schanz exposed naked on a public bench.jpg
lustobjekt4u posted a gallery image in The Whole Hog's NAMED PERSONAL ALBUMS
From the album: Wolfgang Schanz loves to be naked everywhere
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276. Internship - Rewards and Punishments
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Every new class of interns at Loveless Motel has its stars and its class clowns. From time to time our mentors/training facilitators have to make a public example of a young man who needs to get with the program. More often than not, the result is a mutual respect and understanding which leads to a deeper relationship while intern and mentor plumb the depths of possibilities in private one on one sessions."Uncle Joe" is one such mentor who came to us as a young intern in the 1950s and has made a career of putting his finger on and developing an intern's best assets.-
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What smoking policy? The policy is to pay for and not bum your cigarettes. Never heard of such a thing. It's 1962 at Loveless Motel, and we sell candy cigarettes in the gift shop for you to take home to your little bastards, or your brother's kids. You can get any tobacco product you desire and smoke all you want, anywhere you like. Check out Blunt Smoke Shop and Lottery Tickets, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel. Try to use the ashcans around the property. You can buy souvenir ashtrays at Hit and Split - that's why we don't have fancy printed ones in the bars, bub, for you to steal. Or use the parking lot or a dance floor. Please don't dump your car ashtrays in the parking lot, however. Wait til you're down the road a piece to do that.
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221. Gettin all gussied up fer the daynce
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
You can take a cowboy off his horse, but you can't wash the horse off a cowboy. The fellers at the Malamute don't give a hoot at Loveless Motel. If a prairie bath ain't yer speed, the Bunkhouse has group showers.
