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Anyone who's met Snap at Shutter Bug Camera Shop, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel, will admit to being bafflingly befuddled, blissfully beguiled and besottedly bewitched by this man who can be just as easily annoying as hell. To say he is immersed in his profession would be akin to announcing that one has just discovered the pairing of ketchup and French fries, that the ocean from outer space is blue, or that water is wet. Fanaticism and Snap are old friends. Conversationally, he's apt to speak in virtual grunts on some days, while on others, he might hold forth as if he were a gushing salutatorian who has just been ogled and cruised by Oscar Wilde himself who's seated in the front row at an Eton graduation. Some say the difference might be attributed to the chemicals he uses in the development of film; not that generally those would affect the casual hobbyist, but the extent to which Snap uses them is just short of using hydroquinone as your coffee creamer or phenidone on your breakfast cereal. He often complains of headaches, and talks to himself.

Our happy task is to welcome every guest, make every guest feel welcome, and provide a happy place where strangers come to make instant friends and leave with the hope and promise of coming back for more, and soon. Every day's a holiday at our little love shack, and you'll find more ways to shack up than meets the eye, if you know how and where to look. Our staff is happy to help by creating a perfect itinerary for your stay, in advance of your arrival, or in a private consultation upon your arrival! For example, if you're not yet sure of what mode of transportation you'll use, just call Don at the front desk and he'll be happy to set you straight on your best options for a good ride. So hop on your phone and start planning now! The pleasure is all yours! Derrick will be arriving by bus, and wanted to to know what activities we could recommend at the Tulsa station - we told him he wouldn't even need to leave the station to have a good time. He's even looking forward to his wait now. Buster got excited when we mentioned that since he's flying out of Dallas, he could join the Mile High club just as soon as the seatbelt light comes off. Another one of our guests is also on his flight and just happens to be a steward working on that same flight and will be happy to "fill him in". Tom's a bit apprehensive - a long-haul driver coming from a small farm town in New England and driving down the coast for the first time alone has him on edge, but we gave him a list of interstate rest stops we're sure he'll be relieved to find. <script src="https://static.elfsight.com/platform/platform.js" data-use-service-core defer></script> <div class="elfsight-app-f563b2bd-91ce-4e7a-8cda-437cb4de5d49" data-elfsight-app-lazy></div>

One of our booking agents in the phone room at Loveless Motel reports an anxious guest has lodged a complaint, and the conversation went like this: Agent: Good morning - let's plan your next vacation! What are you wearing? Caller: What do you mean, what am I wearing? Who cares what I'm wearing. There's a naked man in my kitchen cabinet, and I am afraid for my life, and for the safety of my canned fruit! Agent: Well, how did that happen? Have you called your local police? That sounds quite concerning. Perhaps he prefers only fresh fruit. Are then any reports of burglars in your area? Are there any signs he has tampered with your cans or manhandled your Little Debbies? Is he by any chance a missing man? Caller: What the fuck? Missing? No, he's fucking RIGHT HERE! Get security over here right away - I'm in a trailer home on Lovers Lane in Aluminum City...you guys need to take care of this. Agent: Sir, you've called the booking line and I can't tell where you are, except to say that it appears you are calling from an outside line when you call this number. You should have called the front desk. But don't worry. I'll get them on the line right now - can you provide a description of the intruder? Caller: Thank you - he's about 6 foot, slender, well defined, nice smile, blonde, nice bush, 6 cut, asking me if i need anything, deep voice, starting to get har-har-har-har huh-haaaaaaaard-shit, oh my...oh...fuck. Damn. Hold it - hold it hold it... no YES NO yes please YES shit fuck. I'll call ba-ba-ba-back. <CLICK>

Ticklers Lounge at Loveless Motel, located off the lobby, has a pretty strict dress code: coat and tie, and if you aren't wearing a coat, they have a few in the back they will loan you for an evening. Invariably, after a sultry evening of showtunes and pop laden with testosterone and queerness, like "My Boy Bill", "Mad About the Boy", "Secret Love", "We Kiss in a Shadow", and even "YMCA", sung in 12 part harmony around a piano that smells like scotch spilled on tweed and pinstriped wool, with a smoke chaser, it becomes more than a man can take and after last call and so the doors are locked for the few who want to remain behind. Though the suits stay on, the zippers come down. Some of these guys have been brought here by their employers as part of an extended interview process. "Are you able to speak in front of an audience? Are you outgoing - a bit of an extrovert? Do you enjoy showing gratitude in public?" These are questions a candidate for employment might well be asked, and should be prepared to demonstrate. Suits rule the economy, the social structure and stratosphere, and sexual hierarchy. Yes, cowboys and leathermen, you can only come in if you're on your knees and you put on that jacket.

The front desk reports that it has received several calls this week from guests complaining that they are hearing mysterious clicks on their line whenever they are making in-house calls to other rooms. This phenomenon is preceded by what sounds like a third party breathing heavily, mixed with the sounds of intermittent chirping birds. Loveless Motel management apologizes for any concerns this may cause, and is doing its best to follow up, and reminds guests that it is working toward filling the position of House Detective. In unrelated news, Nutbush Campground is fast becoming a reality, with great strides being made toward its completion, including erecting telephone lines to its public spaces, with testing ongoing to ensure the lines are tied in with the rest of the Loveless property, including the Motel, Aluminum City, The Bunkhouse and Loveless Truck Stop.

At Loveless Motel, the guy you eyed across the dancefloor last night is describing in detail how his morning is going. The party-line is hopping this morning, and there are even a few familiar voices. Nic, a senior manager, is also in on the fun. If your verbal skills are a bit rusty, or you're a bit of a novice, you can take Nic's class, held on any rainy Tuesday in the Grab-Basket Conference Room, entitled "Talking Dirty is My Second Most Favorite Anonymous Thing To Do"

"Thanks for calling Loveless Motel Booking Department - What are you wearing?" Previous guests are familiar with the provocative greeting. Our booking office phone room is at the ready to assist with your every pre-arrival need, 24 hours day. Our late night shift is handled by just two men, and invariably there are times when there may be a hold, especially when the conversation turns to wardrobe.

It's last call on Saturday night and Mr. Right didn't show up, and Mr. Right Now just walked out with a willing pillow biter. Don't forget, the Party Line at Loveless Motel is open 24 hours a day, staffed by our eager phone men to keep the party rolling. Guests booked into any accommodation get the first 5 minutes of a call absolutely free, and additional minutes at a rate that won't break the bank. Call 1-900-LUVLESS now! What are YOU wearing?

It's hard to be yourself in today's world, until you get to Loveless Motel. Aluminum City provides great accommodations and the privacy you crave, to satisfy all those other cravings you have. We welcome everyone and are eager to satisfy your needs.

Don't be the poor dick who thinks he can drive up and expect there to be a room waiting. Always book in advance. Our friendly staff is eager to talk to you and get you booked! You'll know you've called the right place when you hear "Thanks for calling Loveless Motel Reservations! What are you wearing?" Special rates may apply.