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Showing results for tags 'hard tack general store'.
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The closure of the Laundry Room is having some unintended ripple effects. Because most men wouldn't be caught dead wearing the same outfit twice on vacation, (not to mention the fact that even if they did, the ripeness of some pants would not be welcome in the dining rooms across property) and because some guests are unwilling/unable to pay the exorbitant cost of having their laundry done for them by Loveless housekeeping, or sending it into town to be dry cleaned, there has been a run on second hand clothing offered at Hard Tack General Store. Guys are snapping up anything that they can find, whether it fits or not, and regardless of condition. This, of course, has created a situation which Mr. Billy Swallows at Suit Up has called dreadful, since our inhouse fashion guru says that you should never by anything too small, or you'll end up "looking like a fat whore in an Italian knit" (which he says he once told Elizabeth Taylor in Hollywood to her face during her Eddie Fisher/Richard Burton transition phase, and "What you did to Debbie Reynolds was really shitty, Liz"; he then turned around and walked away from her, while whistling "Tammy") Will U. Bonus, Hard Tack manager, has found all of this highly amusing, not to mention lucrative. Not only that, but the tight shorts craze has even necessitated more men being released early from the Hoosegow, directly into the work-release program (which Manager Will oversees), just to handle the mobs of men in the shop pouring themselves into anything three sizes to small . Come see the collection of "Fallout" gear at Hard Tack General Store: it's cheaper than having your laundry done at Loveless Motel.
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- dicksliplaundry room accident
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453. William Urquhart Bonus - 1st Laird of Loveless
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Will, the recently hired manager of Hard Tack General Store and mentor of the work-release program at Loveless Motel was asked by one of his recent charges what the U stood for. He recounted a lengthy story to the intrigued questioner regarding his maternal ancestors who trace their roots back to Urquhart Castle on Loch Ness in Scotland, explaining that those who claim great familiarity with the men of the line can attest to what is really meant by the "Loch Ness Monster". Will chortled while his startled inquisitor's gaze moved involuntarily downward. Will U. Bonus (after William the Rough, a 13th century occupant of the castle) claims he has a collection of kilts that he'll probably start wearing in the shop once the summer humidity starts to take hold. On his days off in town, or for his visits to the Hit and Split, or when walking through the lobby he'll need to wear something; otherwise his free time will most likely be spent blending in with guests in and around the Bunkhouse and The Tubs, since fewer clothing is required and fraternization is encouraged by the management. He's a nudist a heart and wears the bare minimum when he must, and nothing at all whenever the surroundings or temperature cooperate. As men with personal monsters are apt to tell you, his has a pet name - "The Laird of Loveless", bestowed upon him by his new associates. And when in his cups, he's known to speak in a deep and affected low brogue whenever it's called to meet the moment. With his head tossed back and sweat on his brow, every mentee under his considerable spell has heard him say, "Ah, that's it, right there, Jamie my Boy with the wee tight hole. The Laird is comin' in. Right there."-
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- the bunkhouse
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424. Will U. Bonus joins Loveless Motel Staff
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
A frequent guest of Loveless Motel for many years, Mr. Will U. Bonus has agreed to enter into a contractual arrangement with the firm as Manager of Hard Tack General Store, the second hand cowboy and leather boutique adjacent to the Bunkhouse. In his capacity as manager of that facility, he'll also take on the task of wrangling the work-release program, mentoring men who have been contingently released from the Hoosegow in order to repay their debt to Loveless Motel. Will's credentials include nearly making it through Wharton's School of the University of Pennsylvania, and having been the accountant of a moderately sized used furniture store which released him from its staff due to an unjustified accusation of mishandling estate sales, in particular those of elderly widowed men with sizable endowments (in the bank). "I just love the get and give of mentorship," says Will, after a week on the job. The Management of Loveless Motel congratulates Mr. Bonus on his appointment. -
423. Hard Tack General store receives jockstrap consignment
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Manager Will U. Bonus "If you plan to shoplift, let us know" Hard Tack General Store at Loveless Motel tells us they have just received a good quantity of freshly laundered jock straps and denim jeans in several sizes. Hard Tack specializes in used cowboy, denim, uniform and leather gear, often left behind by guests, consigned, or purchased in the local town. Our work-release program offers gainful employment to those errant men who have been released from the Hoosegow where they've spent time for breaking the rules of our establishment, and some of the gents acquire a work ethic and personal polish which allows them to graduate into our Certified Hustler program. Stop by Hard Tack General Store for the best in personal service and merchandise selection. Manager Will U. Bonus is eager to personally see to each customer's needs, and guides the progress of his work-release charges with a firm hand.-
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- tom hartung
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At Loveless Motel, even our deluxe carpeting can be cause for concern if you find yourself straddling a new buddy's chest on your knees while you fuck his face. That grinding action can do a number on your knees when the heat of the moment takes over. Chaps can help your knees, and our carpets! Head over to Hard Tack General Store f or all your used leather goods needs.
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- blackandwhite
- vintage
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143. Cruisin' Cowboys at Hard Tack General Store
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
This cowboy has made a leather/levi buddy at Loveless Motel. Hanging out in front of the Hard Tack General Store near the Bunkhouse is always a great place to strike up a conversation, especially when you're dressed for the occasion. The fellow on the left is a short-time employee at the store, taking advantage of Loveless Motel's work-release program for guests who were unable to pay their bill in full at checkout. Hard Tack offers second hand cowboy gear and Beechnut chewing tobacco.-
- work-release
- bulge
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