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Seen here relaxing in his Aluminum City quarters at Loveless Motel, Harry Biggerstaff takes solace amidst his antique porcelain collection and vents his frustration to us. "I feel like I'm in a very loose hole up to my nuts, and no way am I gonna get what I want", says he, "about this damned jock strap theft - where is the guy? I'm supposed to be this magical new Hotel Dick, and I'm coming up with bupkis! People don't steal jocks and sell them on the same property and then just walk away! Who is this guy?!" He's done many interviews; poked his business where some might say it didn't belong, and prodded what he thought were all the right spots, and just before he thought he might just hit it and be done, he had to pull out and try another lead. He'd gone cold. His new friend, Luke Atma Peterson, even assisted, and equally frustrated to a point of going down one bottomless hole after another, suggested Harry just lay lay off for a while and go have some fun while getting to know the Loveless property - so that's what he's doing. Anticipating Spring, we're finding him in the great outdoors, enjoying nature, seeking harmony with woodland creatures. Even so, he says he can still smell a ripe jock at 10 paces and he will get his man.

Loveless Motel is happy to announce that we have filled our House Detective position. Harrison Biggerstaff (just Harry to you) checked all the right boxes on his application and will enhance our compliance team greatly. "Drilling down to the core of the matter, I always get my man" said Harry in his interview. Just so you know, he's unspoken for, and in his free time, collects antique porcelain, loves sports, and calls himself "a bit of a fashion whore". He's eager to get to work by going undercover to catch that jockstrap thief for starters. The head of our personnel department vouches for Harry's skills. "He knows how to get to the root of the matter."