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While you're holed up for the holidays here at Loveless Motel, tobacconist Dick Blunt has a question for you. Is 1969 the year you stop smoking for good? Stop by Blunt Smoke Shop and Lottery Tickets for a frank discussion of trading your bad smoking habit for one of casual gambling. Dick's got a blunt with your name on it, located off the lobby. Special discounts for Certified Hustlers!

No need to be coy: it's Monday morning, and we're here to remind you what you did this weekend at Loveless Motel. Don't be surprised that you've been selected as Mr. Popular of the Weekend! As your prize, you'll be receiving 1. A Nutbush Big Bone dildo prior to its release to our guests - based on the Big Bone that was found during the excavations at soon to open Nutbush Campground

The mailroom boys reported breathlessly to Nic, the senior Manager, this morning, that they'd received a letter with photos from two former guests of a few years back. Tom and Buzz here met at Camp, where they were fellow lifeguards, and a more-than-hard crush developed. They agreed to meet during a college break, one thing led to another, and now they own a farm in the midwest! They also note that as soon as the greenlight is given, they'll be among the first to book and stay at Nutbush Campground, due to open at Loveless Motel in the late spring. Congratulations, Buzz and Tommy! They've also inquired about potentially participating in our Certified Hustler program as a couple after they get their crops in- a first at Loveless Motel, and Nic has temporarily okayed the idea, pending a panel interview and audition, along with the attendance of the Shutter Bug Camera Shop Camera crew headed by Snap Wadmacher, to record the event for the development of a new Calendar series.

It isn't every day that one of our Certified Hustlers at Loveless Motel has good luck twice on the same day. So Irving here says he walked into Dick Blunt's Smoke Shop and Lottery Tickets, bought a pack of reds and a couple scratch tickets and BAM, one of them produced a $75 winner! So it's his day off and he decides to catch a bus to town and BAM, a flush business-type townie needs to get fucked real bad. Lucky Irving, lucky townie! Fucking Marlboro Reds! Talk about a busman's holiday!

Despite the best efforts of our Intern Onboarding classes and instructors, sometimes a candidate just doesn't work out. Experience tells us that we really have to watch it when tapping blondes for our programming. A prime example is seen here; a classic difference between the literal and the figurative. Never tell a blonde already struggling with basic concepts to "get a move on" - that structure is going nowhere. Luckily, we have a successful offboarding process in which a man can work off the time and money we have spent on him, and he'll have a choice of joining the housekeeping staff until his debt is paid, or becoming a Certified Hustler (pending the outcome of a rigorous interview process), in which case his debt may be forgiven, or reduced.

What's a couple to do on a night when it's not clicking! The office received a call at 11PM 2 nights ago and the man in 222 said he and his boyfriend were looking for someone tall, dark and well hung. Management swung into action and contacted one of our well qualified and approved Certified Hustlers who rooms with several others over at Aluminum City, and voila, problem solved. What good is sitting alone in your room? Loveless Motel always has a solution. Our Hustler remarked to management the next day that the new paneling in the room looked stunning

Our Certified Hustlers currently outnumber the number of guests, now that the Holiday Rush is over, and it's the perfect time to have your pick of one or more of these hard drivers who will ram your goals to the wall and make them stick, cramming home their full support and smashing any doubts that you might have that you chose the right thing to work on, over and over and over again. Call the front desk at Loveless Motel and pack your calendar today.

In a special arrangement through Shutter Bug Camera Shop, Loveless Motel Hit and Split convenience store, located off the lobby, now has a limited number of Christmas Balls featuring photos of some of your favorite Certified Hustlers. See Psycho Randy at the front desk if you would like to book a time to admire a real set of balls of one of our many Certified Hustlers.

In an odd twist of fate, Paul, the blind piano player who plays nearly every night at Tickler's Lounge, the piano bar located off the lobby at Loveless Motel, has been sidelined for a week. A certified hustler with a questionable sense of humor who was visiting his room told heavily inebriated Paul that a waffle iron was in fact a hand warmer, and consequently our musician has square burn marks on the palm and several fingers of his right hand. As luck would have it, Paul's pal Lee has just begun a two week vacation in 3 bedroom luxury trailer at Aluminum City, and has offered to step in for a few days while Paul recuperates. Some may recognize Lee, who has a reputation among a lucky few for having beefy thighs that could crack walnuts, but we ask patrons to respect the privacy of our guests who are generally here incognito to experience some of the resort's more earthly delights

You might even hit a dry spell at Loveless Truckstop. When just about all your goodbuddies are still on the road and you get that itch, you might encounter a bit of trade dressed like a trucker, and be fooled. No problem! Just ask to see a Certified Hustler card, issued by Loveless Motel. These men offer the best thing next to a full guarantee that you won't be taken for the wrong kind of ride. Satisfaction is nearly always guaranteed, and you can always say "no thanks". In that case, just take a walk over to the Silver Bullet bar or the Stables area behind the Motel for a little bonding for free.

8 Ball Bar at Loveless Motel is nothing if not the obvious place to be obvious. Is he a townie who just wandered in, or is he a Loveless Motel Certified Hustler? Ask to see his card, or take a walk on the wild side. Your choice.

Aluminum City at Loveless Motel has a wide range of entertainment options, including The Vagabond, it's own pub with a pool table. This Certified Hustler provides an excellent example of a man's trifecta, offering up his personal inventory of cue, balls and pocket. Gentlemen, place your quarters on the siderail. The line starts to the right. Book your home away from home today!

Stop by the front desk and ask to glance through our binder of Loveless Motel Certified Hustlers. Here's a sampling of recent additions of guys who have told us that they enjoy being a topman

Some of our Loveless Motel Certified Hustlers have put together a little game for you to play. "A wild new parlor game guaranteed to blow your mind... How adept are you at matching faces with proper lower regions? Try your your hand* and see how well you score. Answers are printed at the bottom of the page, but no fair peeking until you've finished guessing!" *That's rich.... Alternately, you can hop on over to The Bunkhouse and try to figure out who's on the other side of that gloryhole

The management at Loveless Motel is pleased to announce a new program. For a fee, you may now advertise your skills on the door of your unit with a removeable sign. Rates are available for weekly, monthly, or annual display. Stop by the front desk and ask to speak with the manager. Pictured are some of the men who have applied and are awaiting approval by the management.

The gentleman in room 222 has asked that we inform certain of our clients that he is entertaining other gentlemen who might be willing to provide a few favors for generous compensation. Stop by anytime, he says. Loveless Motel is always happy to help guests connect with ambitious and helpful fellows who seek fair trade in consideration for their time and effort.