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527a-monday morning is.m4a 527b-over at nutbush.m4a 527c-this domestic pair.m4a Monday morning is the first day of some of our guests' stay at Loveless Motel, and restaurants from Birdwhistle's Tearoom to the Loveless Truckstop Cafe' are always busy breakfast crossroads of those checking in and checking out. Some like it over easy and some over hard; for others, somewhere in the middle is just fine. Over at the campground, some of the backpackers in lean-tos like this happy camper travel light and trap their breakfasts, or rely on local small game. In the rush of some of our outdoor enthusiasts to get home, the campground cleared out pretty quickly, especially some of those Volkswagen campers, leaving a slaughterhouse of roadkill in their dust (fair game for breakfast), including 3 squirrels, a possum, a duck and a cat. We're not asking this guy what the catch was. This domestic pair from the Bahamas, booked into a deluxe kitchen suite at Loveless Motel will undoubtedly whip up something delicious, but one thing is certain - sausage and black pudding is on the menu. We hear that's a British Colonial thing. "Full English", please! We could easily survive for the week on this diet, without a thing in the fridge. These guys are here to inquire about the Certified Hustler program, and are looking for a few new friends to provide references. They're also looking for a friendly "port of entry" border agent who might provide a work visa in consideration for services rendered. Speaking of men in the middle, is "Spit-roasted Immigration Official" a breakfast item?

These wholesome looking brother-fuckers are up to no good. New to Loveless Motel, they'd seen flyers for Nutbush Campground and after calling to book ("Welcome to Loveless Motel - what are you wearing?") they arrived on opening day with backpacks and are still exploring and roughing it. They'd heard that Loveless even has a detention center called The Hoosegow which actually houses rule-breakers and miscreants who get on the wrong side of the rules or otherwise annoy the on-site "sheriff". Tired of the great outdoors, out of money and not ready to go home, they're looking for a way to stay on management's dime. Further inquiries have led them to a fellow camper who produced a set of pictures he happened to be carrying with him, and shared reminiscences of his brief incarceration which happened as a result of turning down a blowjob from an incognito Sheriff Buck N. McBuff, proprietor of said Hoosegow, because nobody, but nobody, says no to the Buckster. It rapidly got him a ticket to the clink, free food, drink and lodging! Needless to say the set of pictures have given the men ideas and with the aid of the ironmonger over at the Stables, they have constructed a set of iron bars, and are headed in the direction of the Hoosegow, carrying the 350 pound creation. gathering a following and receiving encouragement as they move back in the direction of civilization. Their plan is to confront Sheriff Buck, and loudly proclaim outside the window for all to hear, that they wouldn't let Buck give them blow jobs if he were the last man on earth, and then dare him to incarcerate them. Surely that'll get them 5 berths in a cell! What they don't know is that McBuff is no fool. The Hoosegow is full up and he doesn't have the space to keep these sunbaked yokels. He'll take that challenge, right in front of the Bunkhouse and the crazy campers will get their own set of photos of Buck reveling in an impromptu jizz-guzzling party, servicing each of them in turn, spurred on by a large and growing audience, and be sent back to Podunk with a free set of pictures, their 'nads drained and with smiles on their faces. Snap Wadmacher, ace photographer from Shutterbug Camera Shop, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel, can be on the scene in about two minutes. Don't let it ever be said that Sheriff Buck N. McBuff didn't get his men, one way or the other.

Nic the Senior Manager of Loveless Motel called a leadership meeting this week to talk about drumming up business in its entertainment category, since lately Footlight Fairies Cabaret has suffered poor attendance due to some issues remaining from the Cat Show debacle. It seems half the drag queens have allergies and the dander remaining especially from the long haired pussies has caused half the chorus and one headliner to be down for the count. Bobbie Frapples, the show's lead, bravely attempted to carry a show on her own recently, but reactively coughed up so much mucous during her first number that she ruined the sequin gown she was wearing; the stage had to be squeegeed, and then and dusted with a non-slip agent (a cannister of Comet ) for the show to continue, causing customers to complain that everything, including cocktails, tasted or smelled like bleach. Not to be deterred, Nic is determined to overcome the slump, and out of their conversations, leadership has come up with an event, and is pondering a Military Ball of sorts. Junior Manager Taylor from Dallas said it best, coughing, grinning and clutching his package, barely contained in his pleated khaki pants, rhetorically asking "Who doesn't like uniform balls?" A swelling contingent of lads from nearby Camp Betsy Ross is sure to be interested, Nic believes, and if timed well, the pageant could coincide with the annual gush of seamen shooting to arrive during Fleet Week. Nic has given the publicity team, under the direction of Callum Z Blabber, the green light to develop advertising for the event. Also on the meeting agenda was an update on the status of the class of interns from Tuba City, Arizona - the group who, though certainly checking the box of "hot" by any measure, turned out to be pretty dim otherwise, as evidenced by their lack of survival skills at Nutbush Campground. Jack Leyendecker, the talent and intern recruiter shouldered the blame, but Nic made light of the situation and complimented him on his overall performance, citing fate and anomaly as the true culprits. The decision had come down to terminating eight intern contracts, and placing them all into the hands of Will U. Bonus as conscriptees until their debt is paid, working off the expense of their training. Uncle Joe pointed out that because of their crazy conspiracy-laden ideas, it would be best to isolate them from guests and the rest of the staff, making sure they are all housed in one dorm at the bunkhouse, or in a trailer (Nic raised his eyebrows at the Aluminum City suggestion, referencing further loss of revenue if they were to take out of inventory a money maker like a trailer). They then settled on a cabin at the campground, and KP duty at the chuck wagon there to keep them occupied. The final solution for the clusterfuck of vapid young Arizona John Birchers will be to deliver them all sooner than later for basic training to the Army Recruiter in town, who along with half of the local draft board, happens to be a regular at the Tubs located in the Bunkhouse at Loveless Motel, and will be a key contact for drumming up interest at Camp Betsy Ross for the upcoming Military Ball.

"Callum, you're such a gossipy boy. Best of luck, Coach Warner", his gym teacher had written in his senior yearbook. Asked what the Z. stood for for recently, he laughed and said it was his father's little joke - it doesn't stand for anything, but Dad thought it made his name sound funny and would get attention. And so it did. It was certainly better than a boy named "Sue". Like the S in Harry S. Truman does. it adds gravitas, hopefully. Or it makes people laugh when the name is called from an attendance sheet on the first day of typing class. The name Callum Z. Blabber stuck and determined his personality and his career, or so he likes to think. Blabbing pays the bills. Or at least gets him a stipend and a free trailer in Aluminum City. And he meets men - all kinds of men, and they talk to him freely. He came to the job as a last resort, answering to an add in a copy of One magazine, "All-Male Resort Needs Typist", after he had been fired for being caught in town carving a glory hole in the men's room of a local department store next to the newspaper office where he was working, when he had had a rough day covering a flower show where he had been turned down trying to proposition a local florist because he smelled of bourbon and smoke. "I don't care if you're hung like a grandfather clock weight. I don't like rummies or smokers." Fair enough. Callum thought the guy had a nice ass, but a bit too-too la-tee-da, and smelled of cheap perfume - "Evening in Paris" to be precise, which he recognized as something his mother had worn. "Old Spice" would have been the only choice, in his book, even for a bottom. In his interview with Nic the Senior Manager of Loveless Motel, after being satisfied with his credentials, Nic asked if he had a boyfriend, and removing the cigarette from his mouth, Callum said that he had; He still carries the picture of the man which was a private joke between them, of Jimmy eating a banana when he came home from work for a quick midweek outing at the lake outside of town. Jimmy was a very agile circus side show contortionist who was gone half of the year, who died during a break at home in a freak accident when he tripped over Callum's typewriter which had been left on the floor of the basement rumpus room. He'd come down to turn off the TV which was announcing the end of the broadcast day, playing the national anthem, followed by the sound of the mono-tonal test pattern siren blaring up through the air vent in the bedroom which was so loud he came dashing down the stairs, annoyed, into the dimly lit room, cursing, tripped, knocked over a bottle of bourbon, and hit his head on the hard corner of the portable TV before he could even turn it off. Callum was passed out on the couch and slept through the entire ordeal, barely enduring the shock of discovery when he groggily came too as the first blast of strong sunlight shot through the little garden level basement window, and once accustomed to the light, Jimmy's limp body appeared in terrible, detailed focus. "Son of a bitch," Nic said, commiserating, his eyes downcast, his head bobbing from side to side as if he were witnessing some invisible tennis match on the floor between his widely spread legs, then lifting his head and smiling warmly at Callum blurted out "You're hired! - do you want a trailer?" All men come to Loveless single. "Fraternization and fucking with staff and guests is fine, but no lovey-dovey crap," Nic maintains. "Leave that for the guests." "Yes, I'll take the job, and the trailer, and please call me Cal." Cal's a bit more careful these days - he's laid off the sauce but can't kick the coffin nails. He fits right in with most of the staff in that respect - half his waking hours are spent with a lung dart between his lips and he's even discovered the joy of the candy cigarettes at Hit and Split, which he uses as breath mints, right before any interview. And he'll stop and nothing, and go absolutely anywhere, to get a good story to inform and remind guests, new and returning, about Loveless Motel. He's eager to hear and tell about the stories that come out of now-open Nutbush Campground.

Yesterday was the big day - Loveless Motel has been working for months creating a campground to expand its spring, summer and fall accommodations and despite a forecast of rain, the big parade started off at the Motorpool, as promised. Hard Tack manager Will U Bonus kilted up to pipe the assembled crowd into the campground, the parade winding down past the Bunkhouse, through the newly constructed archway. On the shores of the campground swimming hole, a lone player answers Will's call. A drum and brass trio escorted a solid line of VW campers through the Nutbush Campground arch, and the day was off to a perfect start.

Loveless Motel has retained the legal firm, Pounds, Butts, and Bates, LLC, to take action against Uranus Walls, Inc, ("Your solution for an interior that's out of this world"), for the unflattering job they did recently in the reception area of Nic the Senior Manager's new office expansion. Exhibit A, the documentary photograph taken by Shutter Bug Camera Shop photographer Snap Wadmacher of Nic's buddy Irving, who is supervising the landscaping job being completed for the registration area of Nutbush Campground, illustrates Nic's complaint. "It's obvious that whoever put this crap up was drunk. I didn't pay for remnants. Nothing matches, and it looks like it was installed with a welding torch. This all needs to be removed. We need to get someone in here who can demonstrate the meaning of well hung." Barristers Pounds and Butts have suggested a loose compensation arrangement, while Bates offers a completely different solution taking a firm hand and a good grip on the situation, milking it for all it's worth and as a result, Nic has said it he feels like he's getting jerked around and screwed, and says he won't stand for it. Irving just rolled his big brown eyes.

A group of men loitering around the Laundry Room, sucking cock and petting a pussy, have caused a serious accident with a guest who has come in to check on the status of his load. Continual warnings coupled with outright willful defiance of simple rules haven't done the job. The Board, at the suggestion of Nic the senior manager, has decided to close The Laundry Room, and redesign the 8 Ball Bar, prompting its closure as well. Guests will be given the option to have their laundry done by staff when we do our sheets, or have it collected and sent into town for dry cleaning, all at the expense of guests who my be entirely innocent and obey posted rules. Watch this space for a permanent solution, despite the evidence presented by guests to our establishment that "this is why we just can't have nice things." In the meantime, remember our motto: "Safety begins with thee and me". The Hoosegow and the dispensary will be busy tonight. We have sent an internal memo to all staff members, including Certified Hustlers, reinforcing our belief that pussies get you into all kinds of bad trouble, and we have notified a guest that his cat escaped the Cat Show debacle, though it is still at large, and was last seen running in the direction of the soon-to-open Nutbush Campground.

Responding to an ad in our circular, these four gents, occasional repeat guests from Schenectady, New York, have sent an application and been approved to be in the big Nutbush Camp Ground Opening Day Parade and Celebration at Loveless Motel. The parade will queue up in the Motorpool parking lot, winding its way through the property, leading interested guests past the 8 Ball Bar and Bunkhouse, up the road past The Stables, through the camp ground gate to the communal campfire area where participants will provide demonstrations and entertainment. These fellows claim they are acrobats, aggressive and skilled at a number of feats which will leave the crowd stunned, during which they intend to invite cooperative and openminded volunteers from the audience who will be eager to lie there and t̶a̶k̶e̶ i̶t̶ (respond) to a few c̶o̶m̶m̶a̶n̶d̶s̶ (suggestions). The quartet of junior factory managers has been practicing the concept on a collection of local h̶u̶s̶t̶l̶e̶r̶s̶ (GE union workers) who needed ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶s̶h̶. (a financial cushion to tide them over during the recent labor strikes), A few surprises are promised.

. A recent Help Wanted ad in one of the manly magazines sold at After Midnight Arcade yielded unexpected results. There are still a few prospective campsites which, having been cleared of timber, now need to have the remaining stumps removed by grinding them down, and the only man in town known to grind stumps lost his equipment in a poker game and his main grind, the amputee postwoman, an Armenian immigrant named Aznef Bizdikian, dumped him for a ventriloquist with a lisp- hence the ad was placed in hopes more exposure would net results. Here are a few of the most interesting candidates. See if you can spot the man that's sure to have a leg up.

As Nutbush Campground nears final completion and its opening date, Loveless Motel management still needs a steady stream of men with special skills of all kinds. Apply in person for a speedy interview - limber, fit and versatile candidates go to the top of the labor pool list. Generous compensation and benefits included. Speak to Psycho Randy at the front desk. In particular, those with knowledge of hot mopping, flashing, tongue in groove and full penetration butt welds are eagerly sought.

The mailroom boys reported breathlessly to Nic, the senior Manager, this morning, that they'd received a letter with photos from two former guests of a few years back. Tom and Buzz here met at Camp, where they were fellow lifeguards, and a more-than-hard crush developed. They agreed to meet during a college break, one thing led to another, and now they own a farm in the midwest! They also note that as soon as the greenlight is given, they'll be among the first to book and stay at Nutbush Campground, due to open at Loveless Motel in the late spring. Congratulations, Buzz and Tommy! They've also inquired about potentially participating in our Certified Hustler program as a couple after they get their crops in- a first at Loveless Motel, and Nic has temporarily okayed the idea, pending a panel interview and audition, along with the attendance of the Shutter Bug Camera Shop Camera crew headed by Snap Wadmacher, to record the event for the development of a new Calendar series.

A group of intrepid Loveless Motel habitués have taken it upon themselves to begin to create an outdoor sculpture garden of sorts in an area cordoned off for the purpose at Nutbush Campground. President's Day Weekend's weather was brisk but cooperative as the time was chosen to start on a project with that patriotic theme in mind. Asked if they might be taking on a bit much, one of the amateur chiselers explained that while the process certainly seemed daunting, one only had to remember the first principle of sculpting. The object being used to bore into a medium to be sculpted must be harder than the medium itself. Two of the other men who agreed offered to demonstrate this boring technique of hard tools drilling into pliant mounds on the spot, even though they were some distance away from their destination, and without usual sculptor's chiseling tools. But in the end we were all grateful for their eye-opening efforts and eventually all took turns practicing on each other, all the while trying hard not to think about the old playground joke about trying to fuck a bull with a wet noodle.

The front desk reports that it has received several calls this week from guests complaining that they are hearing mysterious clicks on their line whenever they are making in-house calls to other rooms. This phenomenon is preceded by what sounds like a third party breathing heavily, mixed with the sounds of intermittent chirping birds. Loveless Motel management apologizes for any concerns this may cause, and is doing its best to follow up, and reminds guests that it is working toward filling the position of House Detective. In unrelated news, Nutbush Campground is fast becoming a reality, with great strides being made toward its completion, including erecting telephone lines to its public spaces, with testing ongoing to ensure the lines are tied in with the rest of the Loveless property, including the Motel, Aluminum City, The Bunkhouse and Loveless Truck Stop.

Excavations are continuing on Nutbush Campground out behind Aluminum City. Guest interest has piqued when it was rumored that big bones were being talked about in relation to the work crew seen accessing the property in the early morning hours. A few of the men have apparently been seen using the urinals and stalls at Loveless Truck Stop, spending a little more time than is necessary for just pissing. But in fact, the biggest news is that a REALLY big bone has been found while clearing a wooded area for a picnic pavilion at the campground. A local amateur paleontologist and weekend ossuarian tells us that we have found a dinosaur bone millions of years old and as big as a man! We are currently in discussions about what to do with it. Options from displaying it in the lobby to cutting it into small bits and selling them as souvenirs, with engravings such as "I got boned at Loveless Motel" have been discussed. Also on the list of possibilities is to have rubber facsimiles made to be sold at Toys for Boys, located off the lobby.

In the spirit of continually offering new experiences for our guests, and in keeping with our roots, going back to the hunting lodge first built by founders Edgar Loveless and Sinjin Birdwhistle, Loveless Motel announces commencement of the construction of Nutbush Campground at Loveless Motel. Crews are hard at work, and despite that perpetual priapic state, they are still getting a lot done, and with our temperate winter weather, we project an opening date of early spring. Located in the rustic area just beyond the back of Aluminum City, and roughly adjacent to the area of The Stables and the Silver Bullet Bar, the project will complete the vision of fun in the outdoors, including cabins, tent sites, and plenty of nature trails, as well as a camp store, communal showers and latrines.