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Birdwhistle Tearoom management has been informed that one of the waiters complained his tip had been stolen from a table that had not yet been bussed, by an unknown perpetrator who dined in the restaurant Saturday night. A typically busy night forced him to get to the table late, after after he had seen a large wad of cash being put on the tray after the bill had been paid, when while leaving, the table host thanked and congratulated him on his perfect presentation of a flaming baked Alaska. Several groups were seated in close proximity to the table. It might have been anyone from those surrounding tables, all seemingly animated and having a good time with little care about their surroundings except for the usual titter and din of evaluations of any one group of men by all the others, which is the necessary ritual assessment of potential tricks for the evening. All gay men have these discussions with their pals. "What about that one?" "Nice face, but did you see that horrible manicure when he lifted his glass? I bet his toenails are dirty", etc., etc. Then the snappy comeback: "It's not his toes I'll be be sucking." This night, the assembled members of the Ten Commandments Club, dining together with their applicant, took note of the anguish of the waiter whose tip their tablemate had just nicked. One of their number suggested to the thief that he should approach the waiter, offer his condolences, and invite him back to their elegantly appointed rented clubhouse in Aluminum City. The plan all went pretty successfully. Members are all smooth talkers, appear above suspicion, and are all devastatingly good looking. Who in his right mind would say no to such an invitation? He's lucky this wasn't a 6th commandment night. And The Ten Commandments Club has its newest member, who, now richer by fifty dollars, stood in line to screw the waiter once again.

One of our booking agents in the phone room at Loveless Motel reports an anxious guest has lodged a complaint, and the conversation went like this: Agent: Good morning - let's plan your next vacation! What are you wearing? Caller: What do you mean, what am I wearing? Who cares what I'm wearing. There's a naked man in my kitchen cabinet, and I am afraid for my life, and for the safety of my canned fruit! Agent: Well, how did that happen? Have you called your local police? That sounds quite concerning. Perhaps he prefers only fresh fruit. Are then any reports of burglars in your area? Are there any signs he has tampered with your cans or manhandled your Little Debbies? Is he by any chance a missing man? Caller: What the fuck? Missing? No, he's fucking RIGHT HERE! Get security over here right away - I'm in a trailer home on Lovers Lane in Aluminum City...you guys need to take care of this. Agent: Sir, you've called the booking line and I can't tell where you are, except to say that it appears you are calling from an outside line when you call this number. You should have called the front desk. But don't worry. I'll get them on the line right now - can you provide a description of the intruder? Caller: Thank you - he's about 6 foot, slender, well defined, nice smile, blonde, nice bush, 6 cut, asking me if i need anything, deep voice, starting to get har-har-har-har huh-haaaaaaaard-shit, oh my...oh...fuck. Damn. Hold it - hold it hold it... no YES NO yes please YES shit fuck. I'll call ba-ba-ba-back. <CLICK>

You simply cannot go wrong by putting wood paneling in a trailer house. Aluminum City tin cans use only the finest materials, as evidenced by the documentary photograph above. Neighbors seldom have noise complaints because wood absorbs just about every sound you could want it to. Even the oldest guy in the park won't be calling the front desk at Loveless Motel to complain, and if he did, he knows he'll be told that he does not have a contract to stay in the park indefinitely, that he has only been grandfathered in since the sale of the property to Loveless Motel as a courtesy, and that he should mind his manners and keep his door closed, and stop telling the guy who mows his lawn for free to stay off his lawn.

To be continued... There have always been secret groups, societies, meetings and affiliations of men. The origin of Loveless Lodge was rooted on the principle that a location should exist for a clientele which sought a place of guaranteed near-anonymity and discretion, as envisioned and fulfilled by founders Edgar Loveless and Sinjin Birdwhistle. At Loveless Motel, a certain group of Mauve Tavern regulars also count themselves as members of The Ten Commandments Club. Not advertised among the Tavern's general clientele, its associates do not generally congregate there as one might at a clubhouse, but generally clandestinely book a tin can in Aluminum City now that it is up and running but in prior years took a suite in town for the club's specific purposes, even while maintaining simultaneous bookings at Loveless Motel, in order to maintain the discreet nature of the club's business. Membership is generally held by The Mauve's more well-heeled professional clientele - young men are a rarity within its fellowship, given the life experiences necessary to meet its rules, which are more probably found in a well-seasoned gentlemen. Long conversations initiated by a member with an interesting looking prospect might start at a barstool in the tavern. Then with a predetermined signal given by one member to another nearby, indicating certain conditions have been met, a move to a more private table would occur, and the two would be joined by the accomplice. This method has been perfected over the years, and is adhered to by those participating in acquiring new members. A prospect has no way of knowing he is being interviewed or about to be hooked. By necessity, things will generally progress to a more horizontal approach elsewhere. It is quite amazing when one thinks about it, that any current prospect will come from the pool of select gentlemen who have already been subjected to the elimination round faced by all Mauve Tavern customers, who were able to successfully spell "Ferragamo." It's also true that, not by happenstance, each member is devastatingly good looking,(however subjective a judgement that might be) practically on the level of popular matinee idols. In fact, there have been two members who attained that level of fame, flirtatiously inviting personal upheaval; a fellow member not in that specific category of fame had even said in conversation while accompanying his idol to one of his premieres, while they were seated together in the dark, watching the actor's flickering performance as he dashed across the screen in an open shirt, the camera and lighting catching the beading sweat on his hirsute chest in his latest pirate epic, "My, but can you even imagine losing all of that?" The answer was a curt "That kind of talk can get a man killed" which earned a sniggering retort of "Maybe so, but you know it wouldn't count." It's numbers, by rule, are only increased by one annually , though some years no worthy postulant is found. There are those reunions during which several of its members convene at Loveless Motel though the norm is that a smaller number might be in attendance for an initiation. Group members must have broken each of the Ten Commandments. Members meet annually to initiate an inductee, by witnessing the last sin remaining on the man's list, in progress, the group then celebrating his accomplishment by indulging in acts of physical intimacy, generally recorded on film. This year, the candidate's remaining sin is theft. Coincidentally, no opportunity has arisen to witness a violation of the 6th commandment, a condition which has therefore been verifiably fulfilled by all club members, though in its meetings, the subject of the possibility of such an event has been debated, and not ruled out.

Loveless Motel Dispensary has moved from its small quarters next to the Laundry Room (a locked closet with a first aid kit, a few over the counter remedies such as Ex-lax, Kao pectate and castor oil, a stretcher and a straight jacket, with a clipboard hanging on a string, meant as a sign-out sheet), and is now located at 420 Tin Can Alley in Aluminum City, in a dedicated and distinctive unit, seen here, just arriving after having been purchased at an estate auction in town. The previous owner no longer has a need for the unit, as he was sued for medical malpractice after accidentally (barely) sedating a man who came in complaining of a bad hangnail and amputating his whole hand, and was found liable. But that's neither here nor there. Neither is the hand. More importantly, the facility will be open 24 hours a day every day, under the capable direction of Dr. John Long (of "Your Penis and You" lecture series fame) His small team of medical helpers has been trained personally by himself, with recent emphasis on the extraction of lost gerbils. This new medical endeavor aligns with the Loveless philosophy of getting our hands dirty in every possible way on behalf of our guests; put another way, we aim to be all things to all lodgers. In the event that any of our guests need the services of someone purporting to be a medical professional, no appointment is needed, and fees are minimal, though tips are accepted, and barter is always up for discussion. You may walk in at any hour, and rest assured that protocols are nearly in place in the event an amputation is not required. Dr. John also informs us he is an adept anthropomorphic taxidermy hobbyist, but we'll save that story for another time.

Seen here relaxing in his Aluminum City quarters at Loveless Motel, Harry Biggerstaff takes solace amidst his antique porcelain collection and vents his frustration to us. "I feel like I'm in a very loose hole up to my nuts, and no way am I gonna get what I want", says he, "about this damned jock strap theft - where is the guy? I'm supposed to be this magical new Hotel Dick, and I'm coming up with bupkis! People don't steal jocks and sell them on the same property and then just walk away! Who is this guy?!" He's done many interviews; poked his business where some might say it didn't belong, and prodded what he thought were all the right spots, and just before he thought he might just hit it and be done, he had to pull out and try another lead. He'd gone cold. His new friend, Luke Atma Peterson, even assisted, and equally frustrated to a point of going down one bottomless hole after another, suggested Harry just lay lay off for a while and go have some fun while getting to know the Loveless property - so that's what he's doing. Anticipating Spring, we're finding him in the great outdoors, enjoying nature, seeking harmony with woodland creatures. Even so, he says he can still smell a ripe jock at 10 paces and he will get his man.

In honor of Chinese New Year, some of the units in Aluminum City have been upgraded with new red carpeting and a stunning Chinoiserie hand carved rosewood chair with dragon handles; a souvenir teal colored enameled floor ash tray will be offered as a gift to the first 20 lodgers to book the units. These same units have had their wall paneling re-lacquered in a durable lead-based formula and an exciting shade created specifically for Loveless Motel called "Monkey Jungle Taupe." In an alarming effort to offer an experience consistent with the theming of our little Aluminum City hutong, "Forbidden (Fruit) City", an "edict" from Nic, the senior manager will be handed to any qualifying lodgers via an unexpected knock on the unit door, dictating that men staying in these units must either have fully developed facial hair, or be clean shaven - nothing in-between, and therefore will have to have their nascent facial hair forcibly removed in a sudden visit from Dick Gee, our resident stylist and proprietor of Mr. Dick Gee's Hair and Now, located off the lobby. Tickets to these surprise pop-up events can be purchased by interested onlookers at the front desk 30 minutes prior to each "home invasion" with all ticket-holding participant-voyeurs being asked to play the part of "angry villagers"

Recent events have forced the management team to seek the services of an investigative professional. Crime is on the rise at Loveless Motel, as evidenced by this candid shot of a perpetrator fleeing the scene, thought to be a possible jockstrap thief, caught on celluloid by ace Shutter Bug Camera Shop photographer "Snap" Wadmacher, who just happened to be in the right place at the right time (so he says).Therefore, effective immediately we announce we are taking applications to fill the position of a Hotel Dick, to receive a generous compensation package with dental benefits, and a Bank of America Christmas Club account, as well as private living quarters at Aluminum City (if so desired). The successful applicant who declines the living quarters will not be further compensated to offset the cost of seeking accommodations elsewhere. With the sudden uptick of petty crimes being committed against the business and guests, time is of the essence in filling the position. In-person interviews will be conducted after a review of mailed applications. Good luck to all the aspiring Dicks out there!

RubItOutSanta.mp4 Every year we drop hints regarding who will be hiding under the beard a Santa for the Christmas Show at Footlight Fairies Cabaret, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel. Our holiday artist in residence for this year is shown below. His reputation precedes him (by about 8 inches) and he'll be holing up for the holidays at Aluminum City. All you holes can start lining up to sit on his special lap on December 20th. Extra charges may apply.

As these men are illustrating, pretty much anything goes at Aluminum City, Loveless Motel's trailer park next door to the motel. Several acres of pristine landscaping dotted by the most up to date Trailer Homes are the perfect location for your next party. Book a tin can today!

Aluminum City at Loveless Motel has a wide range of entertainment options, including The Vagabond, it's own pub with a pool table. This Certified Hustler provides an excellent example of a man's trifecta, offering up his personal inventory of cue, balls and pocket. Gentlemen, place your quarters on the siderail. The line starts to the right. Book your home away from home today!

When booking your accommodation at Aluminum City at Loveless Motel, our recently acquired trailer court, you can request your favorite decor. These fellows like to play chess, and requested a knight piece. Later, they'll be requesting a few props, a model and a camera from Shutter Bug Camera Shop, where knights are out of stock but we have a few Roman Centurion types with big swords.

At Loveless Motel, our security staff, headed up by Officer Dick, who in his off duty hours watches over our property and guests with a staff of dedicated hands-on assistants, recently caught a local man trying to hot-wire a lodger's car in the parking lot over at Aluminum City. He was able to provide the gentleman with a demonstration of just what happens to those who are incarcerated for felonious actions involving auto theft. We can't confirm that the perp thought it was much of a deterrent, however. Guests of our adjacent trailer lot, Aluminum City, receive all the benefits and the immense talent of our watchful security staff, day and night, all year long.

a56faa61b9eec62d.mp4 At Aluminum City, we've converted one of the larger trailers into a studio which can be rented by the hour for a minimum of 4 hours for a special video/trailer package. Camera equipment, including 8mm, and video cassettes can be purchased or rented at Shutter Bug Camera Shop at Loveless Motel, located off the lobby, to capture your private party, and special rates include a trailer setup to your themed specifications. These brothers asked us to supply gym equipment , a fluffer and a cameraman for a memory video of their special meeting. And may we say, the illustrated exactly what is meant by "Black is Beautiful".

It's hard to be yourself in today's world, until you get to Loveless Motel. Aluminum City provides great accommodations and the privacy you crave, to satisfy all those other cravings you have. We welcome everyone and are eager to satisfy your needs.

Plan your reunion at Aluminum City - Contact the groups department at Loveless Motel today! We have the perfect solution for accommodations for your special get-together: a perfectly appointed trailer! No need to worry about the guy next door knocking on your wall at 3AM just because he has to catch an early flight tomorrow morning. Your vacation is still going full tilt!

Loveless Motel is proud to announce that it has acquired the trailer court directly next door, all existing owners have been bought out, and we will start booking accommodations in 10 of the trailers immediately. The property has a pool, bar, shuffleboard court, and social hall. Some of the trailers will be dedicated to housing interns and employees. We look forward to this new expansion. The Vagabond Bar at Aluminum City Lovers Lane at Aluminum City