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Happy Easter from Loveless Motel!

Shown in this photo at home last year in London, sporting his Mr. Popular Trophy and dressing to the left in his Suit Up! pinstripe number, personally fitted by our very own Mr. Billy Swallows of Suit Up! (located off the lobby at Loveless Motel) are "Dickey Loosedore" and his best mate "Bailey Alanski", the names under which they have checked into rooms 222 and adjoining 221, respectively. Each likes his space - one needs to be prepared for any opportunity to personally welcome any Anglophiles with a craving for fur and the spectacularly uncut. Given notice, the kitchen staff always stocks up on Marmite for the week for the couple, and places a picture of the Queen on the wall of the little alcove in Birdwhistle's Tearoom favored by our guests and held for them for the duration of the stay. Suit Up! has remained our guests' little secret source since Mr. Billy's pre-Loveless Hollywood days, when he was in charge of costuming at a major studio and worked with Mr. Alanski on a number of his roles. Since Billy's relocation to our little "wood", London's Carnaby Street has nothing on Loveless Motel, which swings to the left this week, "like a pendulum do." In Tinsel Town, Billy was famed for his little parties, where select gentlemen were invited to stay overnight; Bailey always reckoned that Billy was a favorite American host, and maintained that he was a master at getting men to shed their inhibitions with the suggestion of a little Greek wrestling; Bailey had been introduced to such exhibitions on more than one occasion. In fact as it turns out, his ability to toss and be tossed around was one factor that bound he and Dickey together for as long as the two tossers could remember

The closure of the Laundry Room is having some unintended ripple effects. Because most men wouldn't be caught dead wearing the same outfit twice on vacation, (not to mention the fact that even if they did, the ripeness of some pants would not be welcome in the dining rooms across property) and because some guests are unwilling/unable to pay the exorbitant cost of having their laundry done for them by Loveless housekeeping, or sending it into town to be dry cleaned, there has been a run on second hand clothing offered at Hard Tack General Store. Guys are snapping up anything that they can find, whether it fits or not, and regardless of condition. This, of course, has created a situation which Mr. Billy Swallows at Suit Up has called dreadful, since our inhouse fashion guru says that you should never by anything too small, or you'll end up "looking like a fat whore in an Italian knit" (which he says he once told Elizabeth Taylor in Hollywood to her face during her Eddie Fisher/Richard Burton transition phase, and "What you did to Debbie Reynolds was really shitty, Liz"; he then turned around and walked away from her, while whistling "Tammy") Will U. Bonus, Hard Tack manager, has found all of this highly amusing, not to mention lucrative. Not only that, but the tight shorts craze has even necessitated more men being released early from the Hoosegow, directly into the work-release program (which Manager Will oversees), just to handle the mobs of men in the shop pouring themselves into anything three sizes to small . Come see the collection of "Fallout" gear at Hard Tack General Store: it's cheaper than having your laundry done at Loveless Motel.

A group of men loitering around the Laundry Room, sucking cock and petting a pussy, have caused a serious accident with a guest who has come in to check on the status of his load. Continual warnings coupled with outright willful defiance of simple rules haven't done the job. The Board, at the suggestion of Nic the senior manager, has decided to close The Laundry Room, and redesign the 8 Ball Bar, prompting its closure as well. Guests will be given the option to have their laundry done by staff when we do our sheets, or have it collected and sent into town for dry cleaning, all at the expense of guests who my be entirely innocent and obey posted rules. Watch this space for a permanent solution, despite the evidence presented by guests to our establishment that "this is why we just can't have nice things." In the meantime, remember our motto: "Safety begins with thee and me". The Hoosegow and the dispensary will be busy tonight. We have sent an internal memo to all staff members, including Certified Hustlers, reinforcing our belief that pussies get you into all kinds of bad trouble, and we have notified a guest that his cat escaped the Cat Show debacle, though it is still at large, and was last seen running in the direction of the soon-to-open Nutbush Campground.

No need to be coy: it's Monday morning, and we're here to remind you what you did this weekend at Loveless Motel. Don't be surprised that you've been selected as Mr. Popular of the Weekend! As your prize, you'll be receiving 1. A Nutbush Big Bone dildo prior to its release to our guests - based on the Big Bone that was found during the excavations at soon to open Nutbush Campground

Does he or doesn't he? Come meet our peroxide pugilist and find out at After Midnight Arcade, open 24 hours a day, every day off the lobby at Loveless Motel. As a promotion, Francois will be demonstrating in person and signing autographs with his gloves on. What else would you like to see him do? If you wave some poppers under his nose, he'll take off the gloves, put some lube in one, fuck it, cum for you and sell you the glove for 50 bucks. You can buy him a new set of gloves for 20 bucks if somebody else beats you to the punch.

How often does the management have to say that you should not hog the buffet line on Taco Tuesday at Pub and Grub, located on the first floor of the Bunkhouse. While it is true that there is no limit, there is a strict rule that after your first five, you can only return to the bar to claim two more at a time. This is, of course, because Jorge and Manuelito can only make them so fast, and we have a lot of mouths to feed. Therefore, when you have had a fucking keg of beer practically to yourself and it's not even 2PM, you do not want to get caught piling two dozen tacos on a tray that you stole from the kitchen and bring them to your table for the world to see. This gets you a ticket straight into the Hoosegow. On top of it, brandishing a gun to warn off the help when they come to take you away is foolhardy, especially when everyone knows its a licorice one you bought at Hit and Split, located off the lobby. And when you get to your cell, your fellow incarceree says he doesn't like licorice, he means it. Lucky you, you have a clingy sweetheart who'll be waiting for you on the outside. There is no bail at the Hoosegow; he'll have to camp out until next Tuesday. And all you have to worry about is when he asks you why your pucker hole tastes like licorice.

Ticklers Lounge at Loveless Motel, located off the lobby, has a pretty strict dress code: coat and tie, and if you aren't wearing a coat, they have a few in the back they will loan you for an evening. Invariably, after a sultry evening of showtunes and pop laden with testosterone and queerness, like "My Boy Bill", "Mad About the Boy", "Secret Love", "We Kiss in a Shadow", and even "YMCA", sung in 12 part harmony around a piano that smells like scotch spilled on tweed and pinstriped wool, with a smoke chaser, it becomes more than a man can take and after last call and so the doors are locked for the few who want to remain behind. Though the suits stay on, the zippers come down. Some of these guys have been brought here by their employers as part of an extended interview process. "Are you able to speak in front of an audience? Are you outgoing - a bit of an extrovert? Do you enjoy showing gratitude in public?" These are questions a candidate for employment might well be asked, and should be prepared to demonstrate. Suits rule the economy, the social structure and stratosphere, and sexual hierarchy. Yes, cowboys and leathermen, you can only come in if you're on your knees and you put on that jacket.

You simply cannot go wrong by putting wood paneling in a trailer house. Aluminum City tin cans use only the finest materials, as evidenced by the documentary photograph above. Neighbors seldom have noise complaints because wood absorbs just about every sound you could want it to. Even the oldest guy in the park won't be calling the front desk at Loveless Motel to complain, and if he did, he knows he'll be told that he does not have a contract to stay in the park indefinitely, that he has only been grandfathered in since the sale of the property to Loveless Motel as a courtesy, and that he should mind his manners and keep his door closed, and stop telling the guy who mows his lawn for free to stay off his lawn.

Nic, the Senior Manager knew what was in the box all along. It turns out this whole fiasco was an audition gone awry. This photo was included in an introductory letter he received from the two men after they had stayed incognito earlier in the year; Nic had replied suggesting that the perfect opportunity to provide a sample of their act would be an unannounced appearance at the Cat Show, and now you know the rest of the story. Loveless Motel has returned the entry fees of each of the contestants, along with a note to each reminding them of the waiver that needed to be signed, holding harmless the business, all of its employees, and any fellow contestants in the event of any damage or loss. Alberich and Bob have a contract for future appearances at Footlight Fairies Cabaret which is suspended, pending further review by the board. Good luck, Alberich and Bob! RIP Piddles

New project.mp4 A couple days ago we told you about the First Annual Loveless Motel Cat Show. Scratch that. (so to speak). Make that First and Last. Here's what went down. A late entry was called in Friday night, and Nic allowed the two men, Alberich and Bob, to enter their cat. The men arrived with quite a bit of luggage and one very large crate, and due to its size, they were given a larger unit on Lover's Lane near the other entrants' lodgings, however all the recently tiled units were taken and so a carpeted unit had to do. Yesterday morning, the day of the show, held in Footlight Fairies Cabaret, each of the owners set up his table with his cat on display, and Alberich and Bob wheeled in their sizeable crate. The table had to be removed due to its inadequacy, and the two men stood next to the big box while the auditorium filled with cat fanciers and curiosity seekers alike. There were oohs and ahs as the crowd began to circulate among the tables, hardly observing little easy-to-follow directional signs like "Do not insert your fucking fingers into the fucking cage". The temptation to feel fur is just a bit much for some people, and so there was a lot of touching and feeling going on of the cats, too. Foregoing the usual understated attire for such a show, Alberich in his rhinestone studded cape, and Bob with a whip, in his bulging skin-tight unitard, stood out among the others, but unfortunately the crate being guarded by the two men was solid wood, and there was nothing to be seen, so the crowd largely ignored them.

Milky Way A well-worn path in a park or the woods known for cruising -1960s- "I visited the Milky Way last weekend and met this older guy who said he was rich and owned a yacht, but that his access to it was tied up in probate at the moment. So I let him suck my dick."

Convenience is our middle name at Hit and Split, your destination at Loveless Motel for the latest in, candy cigarettes, real ones, single cans of beer for daytrips into town, aspirin and condoms. Just in, some light reading material, reminding us that ginger men are a real rarity around here. Catch one if you can. Then, stop over to After Midnight Arcade and catch the latest addition to redhead beefcake, (we know the first gay naked man you ever saw in print was in Playgirl, and we've just received a used copy with a few pages that are stuck together)

An unexpected snow overnight has the lads up to their cockles in mischief here at Loveless Motel. Guest Communications had to send out a missing person inquiry to make sure everyone was safely accounted for, which took several hours, when Dick Gee of Dick Gee's Hair and Now said someone should just take a blow drier and see if they could thaw the snowman out to verify there wasn't an actual body inside. Anyone paying attention could have also guessed that if he DID drink that whole bottle, that he'd be just fine anyway.