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A group of men loitering around the Laundry Room, sucking cock and petting a pussy, have caused a serious accident with a guest who has come in to check on the status of his load. Continual warnings coupled with outright willful defiance of simple rules haven't done the job. The Board, at the suggestion of Nic the senior manager, has decided to close The Laundry Room, and redesign the 8 Ball Bar, prompting its closure as well. Guests will be given the option to have their laundry done by staff when we do our sheets, or have it collected and sent into town for dry cleaning, all at the expense of guests who my be entirely innocent and obey posted rules. Watch this space for a permanent solution, despite the evidence presented by guests to our establishment that "this is why we just can't have nice things." In the meantime, remember our motto: "Safety begins with thee and me". The Hoosegow and the dispensary will be busy tonight. We have sent an internal memo to all staff members, including Certified Hustlers, reinforcing our belief that pussies get you into all kinds of bad trouble, and we have notified a guest that his cat escaped the Cat Show debacle, though it is still at large, and was last seen running in the direction of the soon-to-open Nutbush Campground.

Only his hairdresser knows for sure! Dick Gee of Dick Gee's Hair and Now lets more than his hair down, this St. Patrick's day. And in a clusterfuck of old timey green imagery, Loveless Motel suggests what you're looking for, and what's lookin for you when you book with us...more than a handful of good lookin' lads and gents just about everywhere you look... Versus what's lookin' for you when you've booked elsewhere his hairdresser knows for sure! Dick Gee of Dick Gee's Hair and Now lets more than his hair down, this St. Patrick's day. And in a clusterfuck of old timey green imagery, Loveless Motel suggests what you're looking for, and what's lookin for you when you book with us...more than a handful of good lookin' lads and gents just about everywhere you look... Versus what's lookin' for you when you've booked elsewhere

Responding to an ad in our circular, these four gents, occasional repeat guests from Schenectady, New York, have sent an application and been approved to be in the big Nutbush Camp Ground Opening Day Parade and Celebration at Loveless Motel. The parade will queue up in the Motorpool parking lot, winding its way through the property, leading interested guests past the 8 Ball Bar and Bunkhouse, up the road past The Stables, through the camp ground gate to the communal campfire area where participants will provide demonstrations and entertainment. These fellows claim they are acrobats, aggressive and skilled at a number of feats which will leave the crowd stunned, during which they intend to invite cooperative and openminded volunteers from the audience who will be eager to lie there and t̶a̶k̶e̶ i̶t̶ (respond) to a few c̶o̶m̶m̶a̶n̶d̶s̶ (suggestions). The quartet of junior factory managers has been practicing the concept on a collection of local h̶u̶s̶t̶l̶e̶r̶s̶ (GE union workers) who needed ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶s̶h̶. (a financial cushion to tide them over during the recent labor strikes), A few surprises are promised.

. A recent Help Wanted ad in one of the manly magazines sold at After Midnight Arcade yielded unexpected results. There are still a few prospective campsites which, having been cleared of timber, now need to have the remaining stumps removed by grinding them down, and the only man in town known to grind stumps lost his equipment in a poker game and his main grind, the amputee postwoman, an Armenian immigrant named Aznef Bizdikian, dumped him for a ventriloquist with a lisp- hence the ad was placed in hopes more exposure would net results. Here are a few of the most interesting candidates. See if you can spot the man that's sure to have a leg up.

Loveless Motel has placed this note on your door this morning because we expect things to be a bit windy today. We recommend not going out during the morning hours, and as a safety precaution, all patio furniture has been temporarily stored until after the dinner hour.

After Midnight Arcade has the newest issue of the Advocate available - just ask for the latest February issue, and while there, pick up a few back issues! Right now you can get the July 1979 issue at half off and entertain yourself with George Mazzei's article "Who's Who in the Zoo" with great illustrations by Advocate cartoonist Gerard Donelon, whose work we excerpt here. We've seen a few of these burly, furry creatures here latel and a few were observed skinny dipping recently - a misapplied name for an activity which doesn't quite cover these men, literally or figuratively speaking. It appears they would make a downright acceptable solution to those cold nights we've been having. Looks like we have a winner in the "Give me another gay label" contest. Bear meat, anybody?

Snap Wadmacher - still standing! Mr. Dick Gee, Loveless Motel's resident hair burner, of Mr. Dick Gee's Hair and Now, (located off the lobby) informs us that his brother stayed briefly last week at the invitation of Snap Wadmacher, roving photographer of Shutter Bug Camera Shop. Dick had shared that his brother, Mr. Solo Generosamente, needed two things during his visit: a haircut and a professional photo session to have a series of pictures available for placing an ad in a lonely hearts publication in his home city. The resemblance is uncanny between Dick and his sibling; they certainly have the same hair - and as for other attributes, Dick tells us that his own moniker is a sobriquet - and quite a "handle" it is, so we hear. Snap has loaned a few pics for us to publish, with the permission of Solo, who has also agreed to his insertion into a souvenir calendar at an as yet unannounced date. Solo had remained holed up in his room during his stay, only seeing Dick and Snap, and asked that the calendar not be published until he had left Loveless Motel. Asked why Dick thought Solo even needed to advertise, he said his brother has trouble fitting in and he just wants guys to know what they're in for in advance. In other news, Snap Wadmacher informs us he is taking the week off, and will be recuperating from a recent physically taxing ordeal, while mostly in a standing position.

In honor of Chinese New Year, some of the units in Aluminum City have been upgraded with new red carpeting and a stunning Chinoiserie hand carved rosewood chair with dragon handles; a souvenir teal colored enameled floor ash tray will be offered as a gift to the first 20 lodgers to book the units. These same units have had their wall paneling re-lacquered in a durable lead-based formula and an exciting shade created specifically for Loveless Motel called "Monkey Jungle Taupe." In an alarming effort to offer an experience consistent with the theming of our little Aluminum City hutong, "Forbidden (Fruit) City", an "edict" from Nic, the senior manager will be handed to any qualifying lodgers via an unexpected knock on the unit door, dictating that men staying in these units must either have fully developed facial hair, or be clean shaven - nothing in-between, and therefore will have to have their nascent facial hair forcibly removed in a sudden visit from Dick Gee, our resident stylist and proprietor of Mr. Dick Gee's Hair and Now, located off the lobby. Tickets to these surprise pop-up events can be purchased by interested onlookers at the front desk 30 minutes prior to each "home invasion" with all ticket-holding participant-voyeurs being asked to play the part of "angry villagers"

Hard has he might try, he's distracted: being staff writer/publicist chronicling the antics of our lodgers at Loveless Motel can be tough, especially when he's temporarily displaced from his room because his traveling buddy decided to have an all day orgy and he has a deadline. The punters want their tall tales and dirty gossip, and it's already fucking Wednesday. But what's he doing typing? He should have stayed for the fun, and chalked it up to "research".

Despite the best efforts of our Intern Onboarding classes and instructors, sometimes a candidate just doesn't work out. Experience tells us that we really have to watch it when tapping blondes for our programming. A prime example is seen here; a classic difference between the literal and the figurative. Never tell a blonde already struggling with basic concepts to "get a move on" - that structure is going nowhere. Luckily, we have a successful offboarding process in which a man can work off the time and money we have spent on him, and he'll have a choice of joining the housekeeping staff until his debt is paid, or becoming a Certified Hustler (pending the outcome of a rigorous interview process), in which case his debt may be forgiven, or reduced.

We regret to inform those of you who've been waiting to check in by our promised 3 PM time, that due to a shortage of staff in housekeeping, as well as training issues, rooms will be assigned upon arrival but actual occupancy of rooms will be delayed until 7 PM today. Existing staff is working feverishly to clear the rooms, but the lack of domestic talent is made obvious by this documentary photo, indicating that when ironing linens, it does help to put the plug into a wall outlet. Inconvenienced guests will receive a 10 percent discount on one meal in any of our restaurants.

Recent events have forced the management team to seek the services of an investigative professional. Crime is on the rise at Loveless Motel, as evidenced by this candid shot of a perpetrator fleeing the scene, thought to be a possible jockstrap thief, caught on celluloid by ace Shutter Bug Camera Shop photographer "Snap" Wadmacher, who just happened to be in the right place at the right time (so he says).Therefore, effective immediately we announce we are taking applications to fill the position of a Hotel Dick, to receive a generous compensation package with dental benefits, and a Bank of America Christmas Club account, as well as private living quarters at Aluminum City (if so desired). The successful applicant who declines the living quarters will not be further compensated to offset the cost of seeking accommodations elsewhere. With the sudden uptick of petty crimes being committed against the business and guests, time is of the essence in filling the position. In-person interviews will be conducted after a review of mailed applications. Good luck to all the aspiring Dicks out there!

Busy night last night? Dick on your breath the morning after and you can't find your toothbrush? Call the front desk, young man, and we'll deliver, free of charge on most items such as toothbrushes, and only a slight cost to headache powders and other medicinal over the counter items like Ex Lax, or Pepto Bismol, or douche bags.

Don't be the guy who's embarrassed at the crucial moment when he says "Get those legs up in the air!" Loveless Motel has the solution: let our popular yoga instructor, Mr. Stretch N. Spreadam teach you how to attain the most complicated positions with ease. Meet Stretch on the pool deck every odd calendar day, and in the evenings at Ticklers Lounge where he is a bar back