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Nic, the Senior manager at Loveless Motel, in one of last month's Monday morning staff meetings, started out by asking his assembled department heads a question. I saw this headline in the paper last week. "What is the connection of McDonald's hamburger chain CEO Ray Kroc, to the 1958 film Auntie Mame?" "Ugh, McDonald's" interrupted Biff Wellington, head chef of Birdwhistle's Tearoom, "One of the waiters told me he worked for them when he was in highschool. Whenever they dropped a burger on the floor, they'd just rinse if off and put a bun on it, and sell it to the next customer." "But you digress, Biff. Pipe down. We have a group coming in - any takers on the question? No? Let me read you this article" and he proceeded to read from the townie gazette. "Wait, wait! Did you see Forrest Tucker's basket in the movie?" pipes back pushy Biff, "I hear he even has a name for it - "The General" " Nic glared over the top of the paper at Biff and began to read: "Patrick Dennis was the nom de plume of the author of Auntie Mame: An Irreverent Escapade (1955), which in 1958 was made into the film Auntie Mame, starring Rosalind Russell. Edward Everett Tanner III is the real name of the author who, after a successful career as a novelist, left writing and became a butler. One of his employers was McDonald's CEO Ray Kroc, who never knew that his butler "Tanner" was the acclaimed author. After having mastered buttling, he left Kroc's employ and has opened the Mame Dennis Academy of Butlery, and has graduated a total of 56 men over 5 years in that endeavor." "The courses feature heavy instruction on manservantry, which includes becoming an expert on modern technological developments, and how to use such devices as they come to market. Here, an instructor points out the vertical hold knob on a modern television set. Here, an instructor conducts field training, demonstrating to a student the use of gas masks, in the event of a national emergency; students are trained to serve the master of the house first, then the estate heir, and then the women and children. Staff, of course, should always carry a handkerchief in the event of such an emergency, but it should never be visible, which would be a severe breech of decorum. The course also features a lecture on stress management, asserting that even on the best of days, men in service can have moments of frustration with a particularly demanding employer, and feel overwhelmed. This may lead to adopting an unhealthy attitude toward the profession and ultimately manifesting itself as stubbornness and a perceived lack of cooperation. At its worst, this can even lead to the adoption by staff of unprofessional mannerisms both in personal affectations and in attire, putting on airs in a misguided attempt to mimic the habits and style of one's employer. Therefore, the school teaches that it's always best to take advantage of personal time, to get away with friends who may also be in service, in order to find harmony and a refreshed attitude for the return to work. Upon successful completion of the course of study, students graduate with a certificate awarded, signifying they are now qualified tradesmen in the field of Professional Butlery "Son of a gun", Biff says, "but what has that got to do with us.?" "We've received a booking for several men" Nic said "who gave as their occupations butlers, who say they are coming to us to celebrate their graduation from MDAB. Just a heads up. Not a whole lot special needs to be done, but I've always looked at that profession as a bit related to the hospitality industry, so wherever you can, make considerations. It could be good business." And so it was, and they have come and gone, having booked into Rooms 222 and 221, but not without leaving a record behind of their celebratory visit. Like many, they asked Snap Wadmacher to take a few candid shots. Butler for hire - this way for service. One last visit to The Tubs at the Bunkhouse, before heading home and finding permanent employment! Upon seeing the photos, now on sale at After Midnight Arcade, located off the lobby, Biff quipped, "More like professional buggery..." On location with Snap Wadmacher, head photographer at Shutter Bug Camera Shop, located off the lobby

Are you a fussy man? Loveless Motel invites you to get your assiduous ass over here, via car, bus, plane, train, bicycle, or banana boat where you can be as fastidious with your fucktool as you want, as long as you eat a good breakfast at one of our fine or fast dining establishments. Call one of our booking agents today, and tell him your looking for a punctilious Pogue with a tight puckerhole who wants to see your big banana and show you how to peel it. And as always, your agent will start the conversation with "Welcome to Loveless Motel - what are you wearing?" Rates may apply. o wants to see your big banana and show you what he can do with it.

After Midnight Arcade has the newest issue of the Advocate available - just ask for the latest February issue, and while there, pick up a few back issues! Right now you can get the July 1979 issue at half off and entertain yourself with George Mazzei's article "Who's Who in the Zoo" with great illustrations by Advocate cartoonist Gerard Donelon, whose work we excerpt here. We've seen a few of these burly, furry creatures here latel and a few were observed skinny dipping recently - a misapplied name for an activity which doesn't quite cover these men, literally or figuratively speaking. It appears they would make a downright acceptable solution to those cold nights we've been having. Looks like we have a winner in the "Give me another gay label" contest. Bear meat, anybody?

Snap Wadmacher - still standing! Mr. Dick Gee, Loveless Motel's resident hair burner, of Mr. Dick Gee's Hair and Now, (located off the lobby) informs us that his brother stayed briefly last week at the invitation of Snap Wadmacher, roving photographer of Shutter Bug Camera Shop. Dick had shared that his brother, Mr. Solo Generosamente, needed two things during his visit: a haircut and a professional photo session to have a series of pictures available for placing an ad in a lonely hearts publication in his home city. The resemblance is uncanny between Dick and his sibling; they certainly have the same hair - and as for other attributes, Dick tells us that his own moniker is a sobriquet - and quite a "handle" it is, so we hear. Snap has loaned a few pics for us to publish, with the permission of Solo, who has also agreed to his insertion into a souvenir calendar at an as yet unannounced date. Solo had remained holed up in his room during his stay, only seeing Dick and Snap, and asked that the calendar not be published until he had left Loveless Motel. Asked why Dick thought Solo even needed to advertise, he said his brother has trouble fitting in and he just wants guys to know what they're in for in advance. In other news, Snap Wadmacher informs us he is taking the week off, and will be recuperating from a recent physically taxing ordeal, while mostly in a standing position.

Our Certified Hustlers currently outnumber the number of guests, now that the Holiday Rush is over, and it's the perfect time to have your pick of one or more of these hard drivers who will ram your goals to the wall and make them stick, cramming home their full support and smashing any doubts that you might have that you chose the right thing to work on, over and over and over again. Call the front desk at Loveless Motel and pack your calendar today.

The winter class of interns has arrived at Loveless Motel and is now training for 2 weeks in the Grab Basket Conference Room, located off the lobby. Our instructor's a hands on guy who will take a personal interest in the progress of each of these men who are eager to learn the ins and outs of the hospitality industry.

While it's all just fine and dandy that a guest of Loveless Motel can head over to The Stables to rent a horse without a thought, our ranch hands work hard! Sometimes, a feller just needs to take a break.

Rock Blockhead has been the Construction Manager at Loveless Motel since 1989 and has recently lead the conversion process of the Loveless Truck Stop. He also is responsible for ensuring that men who fail to complete our intern program repay their debt for food and lodging by working it off prior to leaving the property. He can often be seen over at the Malamute Saloon on his day off, hobnobbing with Sheriff Buff N. McBuff, looking for subject matter for his documentary photography hobby, in the hopes of hobbing as many nobs as possible.

This hot trio put on a show at the 8 Ball Bar the other night - the guys who had wandered over from the Bunkhouse got more than an eyeful in this Loveless Motel leather lovers hotspot.