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Are you a fussy man? Loveless Motel invites you to get your assiduous ass over here, via car, bus, plane, train, bicycle, or banana boat where you can be as fastidious with your fucktool as you want, as long as you eat a good breakfast at one of our fine or fast dining establishments. Call one of our booking agents today, and tell him your looking for a punctilious Pogue with a tight puckerhole who wants to see your big banana and show you how to peel it. And as always, your agent will start the conversation with "Welcome to Loveless Motel - what are you wearing?" Rates may apply. o wants to see your big banana and show you what he can do with it.

Stop over to Toys for Boys, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel, for a demonstration of the newest item in our toybox, "The Intruder". Every purchase comes with a jar of lube and a smile. You may choose to be the subject or the object of the demonstration. Absolutely no refunds.

If you get home and realize that you missed your opportunity to stock up on great underwear at Packaged Goods!, our men's undergarment shop located off the lobby, never fear. Just write to Loveless Motel and include a 10 cent stamp, and we'll send out our latest mail-order catalog.

The Mauve Tavern has long been a favorite among our more discerning gentlemen who want to escape the noise and clamor of Smarty Pants Disco. Just enter the disco off the lobby and through the purple swinging doors in the back. Mature men are welcome, and a diverse, quieter crowd ensures a pleasant evening for all. Attire? ...Depends...

Loveless Motel is proud to announce our new Tobacconist, Blunt Smoke Shop and Lottery Tickets, located off the Lobby.