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528. Loveless Venue: Hockaday's Moneymaker Pawn Shop
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
"Let's open a pawn shop!" That was the discussion among six nude hiking friends who encountered three balls sitting in the middle of an open field a year ago, at what is now Loveless Motel's Nutbush Campground. It's not surprising or suspicious that guys would leave their balls exposed to the elements at Loveless - it was probably a group of Townies who got caught in a storm and had to make a dash for it, leaving the balls behind. But it was auspicious, as "Jock" Hockaday realized when he made the declaration to his buddies. Jock's pal Narcissus "Narc" Blatz, the beer heir, agreed on the spot to front the money, as he held the camera that took this picture. As its sudden and silent patron, his generous offer only had one proviso; though he's played with each and sometimes all of the assembled group, the name of the shop must pay honor to his favorite, and the papers were drawn up by Loveless Motel's legal team of Pounds, Butts and Bates, LLC, as "Hockaday's Moneymaker." It would be easy to staff the place, considering the self-employed status of each group member, each a Certified Hustler in good standing...or any position. The thriving business is located off the lobby and has a steady stream of pledgors, guys who are looking to get a loan to finance a night with a hustler, or a barhopping binge during a weekend stay, or finance entire vacations. Most often the pawn tickets are never redeemed - the interest is a whopping twenty percent a month. Brethren, Hockaday's has got you by the balls!-
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A frequent guest in Room 222, the "Beer Heir" Narcissus Blatz stays with us whenever daddy threatens to take him out of the will. We can't quite say that "Narc", as he is known to his Loveless Motel chums, isn't the one who needles dear old dad by having his picture taken by good old "Snap" Wadmacher from Shutter Bug Camera Shop, because he is. He bundles up a packet of pictures to send back to Milwaukee whenever he stays with us directly, to Daddy Blatz at his brewery office, knowing all his mail is previewed by the supervisor of the mail room. An officious fussbudget named Milburne Milquetoast, the glorified stamp-licker is known to collect porcelain teacups issued for the coronations of British Monarchs. Purportedly, according to Narc, Milburne's favorite photos are ones in which Blatz the younger compares his dick size to a bottle, can or rolling pin - anything that's handy. Dad is jealous - mainly because Narc is fond of Dad's brother, his uncle, who like our picture-boy here is equally well hung and thick, and on more than speaking terms with his nephew. So, it would appear, is Milburne, who spends a lot of time running off to "have a cup of tea" with said uncle.
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