Find all the porn
Showing results for tags 'vintage advertisement'.
-
536. Mr. Billy Swallows Action Zones and Snack Sacks
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Mr. Billy Swallows and his assistant Dante' DeWitt have just received a shipment of comfortable "action" slacks in versatile 100% Dacron, which Billy says are "100% divine", at remarkable prices! Their atelier, Suit Up, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel, is well stocked and ready for you to come in for a personal fitting. Tape measure in hand, Dante' is always eager to know whether you dress to the right or left, and personally supervises alterations while you wait, time permitting. Stop by and get altered today! Billy and Dante' during a lull in business Dante' DeWitt, standing: "What possibly motivated you to buy two dozen pairs of synthetic stretchy slacks?" Mr. Billy Swallows, seated: "The salesman was all over me and demonstrated his 'action zone', and made me write a check on the spot. Don't worry - it'll bounce, and they'll sell out before we have to worry about it, with this cheap bunch that's been in here lately. Buying absolute bottom of the range, so give 'em what they want!" Dante': "Billy Swallows, you are SO bad...what are you reading?" Billy: "Sports Illustrated, and I'm not reading, just looking at the pictures - love the jockstrap ads; but Sports? - eeeewwww." Dante': "Oh, I know - I got kicked out of gym class for taking too many showers." Billy: "What are you doing, Dante'?" Dante': "Looking at this fucking chipped nail...it keeps getting snagged in my sweater - time to go see Dick Gee at Hair and Now, located off the Lobby. They have a dishy new manicurist. Dick said he does a good toe job." Billy: "Dick got that report from me. Where did you get that wedding ring?" Dante': "I was in town and had to go to the tinkleorium so I went up to the 3rd floor of Macy's, and well you know got hung up giving a blowjob under the stall, and while I was on my back looking up at Mr. Right Now, working his snack sack one ball at a time, he came, while he was jacking his cock, and he spooged on his hand and the ring slipped off his finger, and by the time I realized it had happened he had cum and gone, and there it was on the floor. I didn't get his name. Finders keepers, Billy" Billy: "Nice souvenir - better take it off before someone freaks out." Dante': "Jealous! I've already been propositioned three times today because of it. I just lower my voice and speak in one-syllable-word sentences while I readjust with my ring hand."-
- 2
-
- gayvintage
- fashion
- (and 8 more)
-
Are you a fussy man? Loveless Motel invites you to get your assiduous ass over here, via car, bus, plane, train, bicycle, or banana boat where you can be as fastidious with your fucktool as you want, as long as you eat a good breakfast at one of our fine or fast dining establishments. Call one of our booking agents today, and tell him your looking for a punctilious Pogue with a tight puckerhole who wants to see your big banana and show you how to peel it. And as always, your agent will start the conversation with "Welcome to Loveless Motel - what are you wearing?" Rates may apply. o wants to see your big banana and show you what he can do with it.
-
- 1
-
- alliteration
- pogie
-
(and 7 more)
Tagged with:
-
382. Toys for Boys demonstrations this weekend!
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Stop over to Toys for Boys, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel, for a demonstration of the newest item in our toybox, "The Intruder". Every purchase comes with a jar of lube and a smile. You may choose to be the subject or the object of the demonstration. Absolutely no refunds.-
- 1
-
- blackandwhite
- vintage
- (and 10 more)
-
336. It's all in the way it's wrapped at Packaged Goods!
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
If you get home and realize that you missed your opportunity to stock up on great underwear at Packaged Goods!, our men's undergarment shop located off the lobby, never fear. Just write to Loveless Motel and include a 10 cent stamp, and we'll send out our latest mail-order catalog. -
The Mauve Tavern has long been a favorite among our more discerning gentlemen who want to escape the noise and clamor of Smarty Pants Disco. Just enter the disco off the lobby and through the purple swinging doors in the back. Mature men are welcome, and a diverse, quieter crowd ensures a pleasant evening for all. Attire? ...Depends...
-
230. Blunt Smoke Shop and Lottery Tickets - Loveless Venue
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Loveless Motel is proud to announce our new Tobacconist, Blunt Smoke Shop and Lottery Tickets, located off the Lobby.-
- off the lobbyvintage
- cigar
- (and 4 more)