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Mr. Billy Swallows and his assistant Dante' DeWitt have just received a shipment of comfortable "action" slacks in versatile 100% Dacron, which Billy says are "100% divine", at remarkable prices! Their atelier, Suit Up, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel, is well stocked and ready for you to come in for a personal fitting. Tape measure in hand, Dante' is always eager to know whether you dress to the right or left, and personally supervises alterations while you wait, time permitting. Stop by and get altered today! Billy and Dante' during a lull in business Dante' DeWitt, standing: "What possibly motivated you to buy two dozen pairs of synthetic stretchy slacks?" Mr. Billy Swallows, seated: "The salesman was all over me and demonstrated his 'action zone', and made me write a check on the spot. Don't worry - it'll bounce, and they'll sell out before we have to worry about it, with this cheap bunch that's been in here lately. Buying absolute bottom of the range, so give 'em what they want!" Dante': "Billy Swallows, you are SO bad...what are you reading?" Billy: "Sports Illustrated, and I'm not reading, just looking at the pictures - love the jockstrap ads; but Sports? - eeeewwww." Dante': "Oh, I know - I got kicked out of gym class for taking too many showers." Billy: "What are you doing, Dante'?" Dante': "Looking at this fucking chipped nail...it keeps getting snagged in my sweater - time to go see Dick Gee at Hair and Now, located off the Lobby. They have a dishy new manicurist. Dick said he does a good toe job." Billy: "Dick got that report from me. Where did you get that wedding ring?" Dante': "I was in town and had to go to the tinkleorium so I went up to the 3rd floor of Macy's, and well you know got hung up giving a blowjob under the stall, and while I was on my back looking up at Mr. Right Now, working his snack sack one ball at a time, he came, while he was jacking his cock, and he spooged on his hand and the ring slipped off his finger, and by the time I realized it had happened he had cum and gone, and there it was on the floor. I didn't get his name. Finders keepers, Billy" Billy: "Nice souvenir - better take it off before someone freaks out." Dante': "Jealous! I've already been propositioned three times today because of it. I just lower my voice and speak in one-syllable-word sentences while I readjust with my ring hand."

Brothers often share common interests; these to gents are actually cousins, and have both had the good fortune to be accepted into the work release program for low-impact non-violent nuisance-crime offenders incarcerated for at least 1 years, at the local county jail. They were caught shoplifting from a local "bookstore" downtown and are now being housed in the Bunkhouse right here at Loveless Motel, and will pull the late shift at our After Midnite Arcade. As janitors, they'll clean up after our late night revelers last-chance encounters. Luckily, they already know how to entertain themselves on a slow night, and may even pick up some extra cash for any personal favors they might provide the guests.

Mustard and brown will be the "in" colors this fall, says our in-house fashion expert Mr. Billy Swallows, seen here on his lunch break, a few steps away from his duties at Suit Up, our very own atelier at Loveless Motel.

Anyone who's stayed at the Bunkhouse at Loveless Motel knows it's virtually impossible not to find a date on a Saturday Night (or several), before or after you actually spend time in the bars or disco at our busy resort. Frequent guests call the first floor rest room at the Bunkhouse the Wreck Room

Last call means it's time to hit the latrine over at the Bunkhouse at Loveless Motel - you're gonna wake up Sunday with cock on your breath and goo on your shoe...