About "Loveless Motel Parody" - with Venues Guide
Entry posted by redheaguy51 in LOVELESS VENUES - THE LIST
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Accommodations
The Motel - call us for our precise location
A 223 room motor court built in the 1930s and added to over the years, with an exclusively male clientele. Resort style amenities, entertainment and dining. Clothing is optional in most outdoor recreation areas, unless otherwise posted, but clothing is required in all indoor areas, except where otherwise posted.
A detached hostel with 2 floors and a 2 level basement. The second floor has several rooms, each of which sleep 6 to 10 guests in bunkbeds, and a military style latrine with stalls and one long urinal. A communal shower, canteen, detention center and service desk area are located on the first floor. The 2 level basement includes a bath house called The Tubs. Check-in, however, is located in the main motel lobby.
Loveless Truckstop - located adjacent to the main parking lot, entranced from the highway, directly east of the main entrance road for Loveless Motel.
Big rig parking lot for long haul drivers, with always open café, toilet and private shower facilities. Hookups available for 35 trucks and cabs, 24 hours a day, free to customers of the cafe. 20 additional storage spaces to drop your trailer - pay by the day, week or month. 1 trailer owned by Loveless is parked permanently, and outfitted for recreational use, open all day and night. A large wooded area with trails and picnic tables is at the back of the lot.
Finally opened under new ownership, Aluminum City is a trailer court built in the 1930s as a trailer campground, and in the 1950s became a resident owned trailer-home park. Loveless Inc. finalized a deal to purchase from all the owners, thus expanding its total acreage, and boosting total accommodations with an additional 195 units of one or two bedroom trailer homes. The property boasts its own pool, bar, social hall, and much more. Check in is at the front of the community.
Nutbush Campground - the entrance is located at the back of Aluminum city, and roughly adjacent to the area of The Stables and the Silver Bullet Bar.
Erect a tent, bring a travel trailer, or stay in a rustic cabin - facilities include communal latrines and showers. Access to trails for hiking - a camp store for supplies.
Dining
Birdwhistle's Tearoom - located off the lobby
Named after one of the founders of Loveless Lodge, Sinjin Birdwhistle, the predecessor of Loveless Motel. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner, in an upscale casual restaurant with weekend buffets, decorated in rich purple velvet drapes and flocked red wallpaper. In the evenings waiters are dressed in tux jackets, and guests are invited to join in business casual attire, at a minimum. Evening menu items include steakhouse style offerings, local game and fresh fish.
Loveless Truckstop Cafe' - located at Loveless Truckstop
24 hour service, 365 days a year. We never close. typical diner fare, with a smart-ass service staff. Good coffee and grub.
Pub and Grub - located at the Bunkhouse in the lobby area
Lunch and light dinner, strictly pub food - simple fare, inexpensively priced - wash it down with a draft beer. Order window with pickup only.
A full service's men's salon: specialties include quick cuts, coloring, and complete makeovers, under the expert guidance of Mr. Dick Gee, proprietor and former Hollywood stylist.
Hard Tack General Store - located next to the Bunkhouse
A small shop offering second hand Western gear including jeans, boots, cowboy hats, western shirts and Beechnut chewing tobacco. Staffed by work-release guests who have been unable to pay their bill at checkout, usually because of substance abuse issues, or billing disputes with Certified Hustlers.
Hit and Split - located off the lobby, or from the exterior of the building directly next door to the lobby entrance
Loveless convenience store is well stocked with everything you forgot to bring, and the extras you'll need, including quick bite snacks, beer, wine and spirits, souvenirs, post cards, a mini over the counter pharmacy, and even books and gift items. Clothing required, please.
Packaged Goods! - located off the lobby
Always has the latest fashions and most practical items in men's undergarments, including boxers, briefs, long-johns, thongs, enhancers, and personal medical need items such as trusses. Frequent afternoon showings, as our interns model the most recent merchandise arrivals. Private viewing booths available. Fees may apply.
Shutter Bug Camera Shop - located off the lobby
Carries a full line of photographic equipment and services, open 24 hours. 1 hour development service, camera and film sales and rentals, as well as model bookings, private sessions in themed photo suites, and prop rentals.
Suit Up - located off the lobby
A clothier specializing in bespoke suits, ties and ott the rack business casual attire in popular brands. A popular destination for patrons of Ticklers.
Toys for Boys - located off the lobby
Sex toys and novelty gag gifts
You Crazy Beach Hut - located at our lake beach
Rent beach chairs and cabanas, towels, snorkel equipment, inflatable water toys, or grab a snack or beer. Swimsuits, t shirts, and logo souvenir merchandise available.
Blunt Smoke Shop and Lottery Tickets - located off the lobby
Dick Blunt, tobacconist extraordinaire, has had the cigarette concession for years at Loveless, where he stocks a range of products, including cigarettes, cigars, pipes, and specialty tobaccos for smoking and spitting from around the world. Word has it his last name speaks to his conversational abilities as well as his shape and girth where it counts. Oh, and he'll sell you a lotto ticket.
Bars and Nightlife
Smarty Pants Disco - located off the lobby
A disco bar fit for a fashion queen - whether the fashion is coat and tie, leather, cowboy, Ah Men catalogue, construction worker, jock, or cop. Pants or underpants of some kind are required. Popular for its happy hour and huge dance floor. 2nd floor viewing area surrounds the dance floor.
The Mauve Tavern - located in Smarty Pants Disco, all the way to the back through the purple swinging doors.
A happy hour destination, before the disco heats up. As queer as it gets.
Footlight Fairies Cabaret- located off the lobby
A full-fledged nightclub experience with seating for 200 in a tiered seating arrangement, orchestra and performance stage/dance floor, South American themed vaguely after the famed Mocambo Club, with bold color, and full wall paintings of Brazilian beaches, jungles, and people dressed in Carmen Miranda Style gowns and headpieces, and shirtless muscled workers.
Ticklers Lounge - A Piano Bar - located off the lobby
Quiet bar during the day, but evenings play host to men who enjoy singing in public, while Paul, the blind piano player, cranks out show tunes, pop tunes and opera favorites. Dress code - Jacket and tie required. Cocktails
The Malamute Saloon - located on the first floor of the Bunkhouse
This rowdy cowboy bar has an Alaska Gold Rush theme, with large murals featuring hirsute men having fun after a hard day's work, horses, Malamute dogs and mining equipment. Waiters dressed in tuxes seem nellier than your Uncle Randy, but can turn on you fast and toss you out on your ear if your tip is small.
8 Ball Bar - located next to the Laundry Room behind the pool house
Join leathermen and cowboys for a beer and a game of pool. Appropriate attire required. Corner sling.
Silver Bullet Bar - located 1/4 mile up the dirt road from the Bunkhouse, hidden across the road from the Stables, in the thicket of trees and bushes. Look for the neon sign peaking through the trees.
Very popular outdoors venue consists of an Airstream trailer with a walk up window and exterior meat-rack, toilet facilities. Interior meat-rack, standing room only nearly dark room with fresh hay bales to lean on. The surrounding well-maintained trails have sporadic picnic tables hidden in thickets of brush and bushes. A canopy of trees covers the area. Any attire welcome.
Lectures and Learning
Grab-Basket Conference Room - located off the lobby
Learn something new and meet someone with shared interests. Our conference room is used by guests and staff alike, hosting guest speakers on a wide range of topics from fashion to hamster removal, or training our most recent crop of interns in the art of customer satisfaction. We called it the "grab- basket" because a sack lunch is often provided.
The Hoosegow - located on the first floor of the Bunkhouse
Whenever our guests get too rowdy or break a rule, or skip out of paying a bill and are caught prior to leaving, a member of our security team may put them into our temporary detention center to cool off and learn a lesson or two from one or more officers, or fellow inmates. Bill skippers may find themselves indentured for a longer period of time, in order to work off their debt.
Recreation
The Stables - located behind and just west of the bunkhouse about 1/4 mile down a dirt road
You can hire a guide to teach you how to ride, and tour the hilly and forested areas of the property and surrounding terrain on horseback. Some cowboys are available for other enjoyment - rates may apply
After Midnight Arcade - located off the lobby
An adult book shop, with 8 individual viewing booths, and a 12 seat theater showing classic male films - open 24 hours
Beach at Lake Loveless - located just east of the main complex, out the side door of the lobby, on the other side of the east wing.
A nice size sandy beach with a swimming area and boat dock, along with a fishing pier. You Crazy Beach Hut, a retail and snack-bar is located here. Clothing optional. Lifeguards are on duty from sun-up to sun-down only.
The Pool - located in the center courtyard of the motel, bordered on 3 sides by accommodations, and the front lobby building.
The hub of weekend Tea Dances, lounging, foam parties, various contests, and a lifeguard station, the Pool is open from 8AM to 11PM daily. It's heated to a tolerable 82 degrees year round. Clothing is optional.
The Tubs - Located in the basement of the Bunkhouse - accessed from the exterior of the building
A full service Turkish style bathhouse offers massage services, private rooms, a gloryhole maze, grotto with a 2 story waterfall, public TV room, steam room and dry sauna. Admission is not included with your accommodations, but the membership fee is waived for guests of Loveless Motel. Day visitors pay a small membership fee; lockers are 3 dollars and rooms start at 5, per 24 hour period.
Services
Motor Pool - located adjacent to the parking lot between the pool house and the Bunkhouse
Vehicle rentals, repair shop, retail shop for auto and motorcycle enthusiasts
Laundry Room - located behind the pool house
Coin operated laundry facilities, washer and dryer, attendant on hand, dry cleaning services are sent out for next day delivery if dropped off by noon. Guests are reminded not to congregate around or block the door to the laundry room, for safety reasons.
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