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In an exciting development, 5 of our suites are now equipped with brand new twin Barca Loungers, and fabulous Hammond Organs! These special accommodations can be booked by calling our waiting phone room staff members, who, as you know, always answer the phone with the musical greeting, "Welcome to Loveless Motel - what are you wearing?". We've also contracted the services of Ethel "Play the white keys, honey" Smith who will be allegedly entertaining on Saturday afternoons at Tickler's Lounge, coming out of retirement for a 12 week engagement, and can entertain you ensuite for a modest charge in these specially decorated rooms. Ethel wishes all to know that her well-publicized recent shock treatments have done a world of good, and have nearly perfectly restored her hearing loss and balance issues. All Barca/Hammond suites are situated at least 5 doors away from each other so as not to have situations in which the noise of organs being worked over simultaneously creates unwanted dissonance.