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Magazine Excerpt: Men of the Internet 2008 The Fancy Fetish - Men at Play.pdf

The SNL skit Who’s On Top? inspired me to play this with other gay men. The rules are simple. One person names two male celebrities or movie characters and another explains who the top would be if they had sex together. Then that person names two more to continue the game. Now let’s begin! Joe Rogan and Joey Diaz

Callum Z. Blabber has had some time off this week, from the daily grind of updating former and current guests of Loveless Motel, or luring new ones. Far from getting away as originally planned, he's found himself stuck in his Aluminum City quarters, going through old boxes of shit he should have tossed years ago, cleaning cat boxes in "the cat room", and otherwise busying himself while his money sits unspent in his surprisingly healthy trust fund. His guilty pleasure, pursuit of a latent career in cabaret as a one man band has been on hold but he's even carved out a few hours of time to practice, despite the complaints of his nearby neighbors who complain that the thin tin can walls of a trailer seem to amplify the sound. He's shrugged off the complaints and invited a few of the biggest complainers in for drinks and mini-concerts, and things have calmed down. His medley of Piaf tunes is particularly popular - he brings some of his pals to tears with his version of Non, je ne regrette rien, but they liven back up when he transitions to L'Accordeoniste. Some of the guys are Certified Hustlers - it's like being in home territory. Since he can't sing and play the harmonica simultaneously, he hands out lyric sheets. It's a fucking party! The Accordionist The prostitute is beautiful (lit. Girl of pleasure) Over there on the corner She has a client Who fills her stockings up (pays) When her job is done She goes on her way Looking for a bit of dreams At a dance hall in the suburbs Her man is an artist He's a strange, little guy An accordionist Who knows how to play the java (a dance) She hears the java But she doesn't dance She doesn't even look at the dance floor And her loving eyes Follow the vigorous playing And the wiry, long fingers of the artist It gets under her skin From the bottom, from the top She has the urge to sing, it's physical All of her being is tensed Her breath is held it's a work of art shaped by the music The prostitute is sad Over there on the corner Her accordionist Left to be a soldier When he comes back from war They will have a house She will be the cashier And he will be the boss How beautiful life will be They'll be true big-shots And every night for her He'll play the java She hears the java That she hums softly She looks again at her accordionist And her loving eyes Follow the vigorous playing And the wiry, long fingers of the artist It gets under her skin From the bottom, from the top She has the urge to cry, it's physical All of her being is tensed Her breath is held It's a work of art shaped by the music The prostitute is alone Over there on the corner The girls who are sulking The men don't want And too bad if she dies Her man is never coming back Farewell to all of those beautiful dreams Her life is fucked Nevertheless her tired legs Take her to the dive (dance hall) Where there's another artist Who plays all night long.... She hears the java She listens to the java... She closes her eyes... Those wiry, vigorous fingers It gets under her skin From the bottom, from the top She has the urge to yell out, it's physical And so to forget She begins to dance, to turn To the sound of the music... STOP! Stop the music...

When I saw it, it was after all of the hype had diminished and forgotten about. I concur, it was a good, bland movie. But a bland movie with an important story to tell. It had long been alluded to that many of the cowboys that worked on the huge ranches out west, who spent months in a shack/cabin with their work partner, did tend to be what might have been later termed "closeted gay" males. Living as what might be termed "a couple" of sorts. Yet to all the world, they were "normal" straight males. And that's how they led their lives. In an early 1960s cattle drive movie (set in the 1800s), there was a young man who wanted to work on those cattle drives. After their dinner by the camp fire, two of the regular guys asked him into their tent. The next morning, a friend of the drive's leader was talking to the leader. In that scene, the two men helped the young guy to his horse. The friend asked what that was about? The leader said "He had a rough night last night". As if they'd gotten him drunk and he was still very hung over. Considering that scene 60 years later, they probably initiated the young guy that night. Not only keeping him awake too long, but also enjoying themselves, too. Just a short 30 seconds total, in the scenes, but probably more accurate than many might desire to suspect. As to what really went on that night. There were lots of things which were only spoken about in very hushed and private tones of voice. "Naughty" things. Even between males. "Love" could only be between family members and males with females. It was far more common for females to hug and "peck" kiss to greet each other. If two males did that, people would have looked at them funny. Just the way it was in the USA. In France, much different. The simulated sex scene in the tent? I was not impressed. If somebody had not known what was going on, they'd have missed it. Nothing like it really happens at the tubs or on a bed of consenting adult males. Perhaps it was shortened a bit? A take-away is that it takes "two to tango", just don't become serious dance partners. One partner saw what happened on the mountain as "a fling" and the other one took it more seriously. How many of us have been in such a situation? Regardless of the gender of the other person involved. "Brokeback Mountain" proved that it could happen between two males. In more recent years, I'm wondering if the term "bro-mance" might have been justified by that movie? Although it can also mean "male friends helping each other through tough times", as in having sex when the "girlfriend" refuses to do it. A bonding situation of sorts, rather than otherwise, that is not widely talked about. Not to sound flaky, but I suspect that people who were around animals in their earlier years, during puberty, might view the movie differently than somebody who grew up in a big city. Seeing young bulls "play" by trying to ride each other is normal, yet when they get older, they sought out females instead. Or perhaps I was a bit too-enlightened about same sex sex? Whatever . . . It was probably over-hyped a bit, but was significant by any measure.

Editor's note: When EDGE critic David Foucher wrote in December, 2005 that "Brokeback Mountain" was the most important gay film in a decade, who knew it would be the only important gay film of the decade? Perhaps that homophobia that kept the film from winning the Best Picture Oscar the following year remains pervasive in Hollywood. The only major gay Hollywood film in recent times was 2022's "Bros," Billy Eichner's clever contemporary rom-com that was a box office dud, despite being a critics' darling. This past year, "Brokeback" director Ang Lee addressed the controversy of his film losing Best Picture to "Crash," despite winning Best Director and Best Script. "Back then, ['Brokeback Mountain'] had a ceiling. We got a lot of support – up to that much," he told Deadline. "It has that feeling. I wasn't holding a grudge or anything. It's just how they were," Lee said of the Academy at the time. He described the moment when Best Picture was announced. "I got my award, which was [second to] last to the big one, and I was walking off the stage, they called me down, and said, stay here. That's your mark. Everybody assumes you will win, so stay at that mark," Lee said. "Right next to the stage was the curtain. The next was Best Picture. Stay here, just stay here. I saw Jack Nicholson, his profile, he opened the envelope, and I go, 'Oh my god, oh my god.' It took like 10 seconds before he announced, and then he went, 'Crash.'" "Brokeback Mountain" is certainly the most important gay film in a decade; it may also be the bravest. That statement is made with no overt intention to applaud performances which, while unconventional, should in no way malign the careers of Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal. They are superb in the roles of a ranch hand and a rodeo cowboy who unexpectedly fall in love and forge a lasting connection to each other; but they are actors first. We have seen this story of forbidden love before, and those themes of love and loss that make it mythical also, in the absence of mechanisms largely foreign to mainstream audiences such as AIDS or the gay community, are precisely what will have those audiences unwillingly squirming their way an inch closer to tolerance. It's a simple love story, little more; and its sparse approach to gay love is precisely that which makes it brilliant. Ledger and Gyllenhaal play Ennis del Mar and Jack Twist -- two cowboys hired by a local rancher (Randy Quaid) to protect a flock of sheep on Brokeback Mountain over the summer of 1963. Their stated dreams of home ownership, marriage and children are slowly subverted, however, as the two forge a friendship, and then, in a sudden turn of events, a romance. The summer ends, and with it, ostensibly, their hidden affection for each other; but as the years pass and each pursues more traditional goals in life, they find their passion for each other a desperately needed, if increasingly difficult to protect, part of their lives. Alas, about a third of the way into the film Ennis and Jack enjoy a graphic, sexual encounter in their tent, and all over the country that popcorn freezes midway between the butter bucket and its suddenly slack destination, and the gay rights discussion leaps invariably forward. Such is the power of "Brokeback Mountain," wherein passionate embraces between two men are themselves embraced within a dramatic structure that affords them all the special attention of a single sheep in a flock of thousands -- an allegory played out in the film when two flocks are accidentally merged and must be segregated by the colors painted on their backs. The performances by Gyllenhall and Ledger are compelling, particularly the more difficult role portrayed by Ledger, who turns in perhaps the most vociferously muted characterization in years. Supporting cast members Michelle Williams and Anne Hathaway offer a desperately needed balance as the wives of Ennis and Jack; these women are the two individuals most harmed by a society where intolerance is indoctrinated, and infractions disciplined via the court of vigilante justice. The pace of the film is deliberately slow, and frankly, were gay America truly its targeted audience, the film might fail to impress. Our community is not shocked by Ledger and Gyllenhaal sucking face in a pup tent; we're titillated by it, but in fact we're bombarded by gratuitous sexuality in our media on a daily basis. In fact, the LGBTQ+ community may find the story quite methodical in its pacing, and apart from postulating that cowboy life proceeds at this lethargic speed, may misconstrue intent as simply art. Not so: Ang Lee is at the helm. It requires a director known for subtlety to deliver so subtle a film; Lee permits the story its own acceleration, and, instead of attempting to fluff out Annie Prouix's 30-page story with artificial dialogue or plot maneuverings, offers space: panoramic vistas against which this eloquently sad tale might unfold, and sufficient breathing expanse for those initially uncomfortable with the subject matter to term up to its universal appeal. "Brokeback Mountain" is definitively not analogous to an activist with a megaphone, nor is it a gay movie set within territory unfamiliar to those outside the LGBTQ+ community in an attempt to offer a measure of distance between its mainstream demographic and its subject matter. It encroaches directly into the masculine paradigm of the Mid-West, and its weapon of choice is the axiom of love.