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What you know about Australia


Guest yonis

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Guest yonis

The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors.

 

They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.

 

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

 

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

 

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?(Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

 

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

 

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?

 

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?(USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

 

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

 

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

 

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

 

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)

A: You are a British politician, right?

 

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

 

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

 

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

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Guest hairlover

They say in the Oval Office there has been spotted a Drop Bear too. Now I know why George W. Bush smells like that..... But unfortunately he was TOO LATE !!!

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cupboardy

@ areyoumydrug

 

SeducedStraightGuys.com - Oh yeah baby, there is one vid on there where a big bloke walks in on another bloke wanking and makes him suck him loads, and he just keeps talking to him, telling him what to do..etc...hubba hubba :D

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Wonderwoman
I haven't seen Kiwikid around yet..... waiting for his reply ...................

 

KK is quite busy with real life at the moment, but fear he will be around soon again :)

 

:ww:

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  • 5 years later...
palerider

The really sad part is that it's probably true.

Aussies are very sarcastic, we don't mean to be. Those answers crack me up everytime.

And, for the record, in my town, we actually have kangaroos hopping down the middle of the road.

Link to post

Oh yeah, Australia and Kiwiland.

 

I heard about it. Someone told me they're on the underside of the earth. I was worried and asked if people fall off into space. Look on a globe and you know what I mean. But my friend told me that all australians etc. have magnets in their shoes, so it doesn't happen. God, was I relieved. :)

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  • 7 years later...

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