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Guest yonis

What you know about Australia

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Guest yonis

The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors.

 

They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.

 

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

 

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

 

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?(Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

 

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

 

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?

 

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?(USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

 

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

 

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

 

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

 

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)

A: You are a British politician, right?

 

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

 

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

 

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

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Guest hairlover

They say in the Oval Office there has been spotted a Drop Bear too. Now I know why George W. Bush smells like that..... But unfortunately he was TOO LATE !!!

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ButchBarbie

that was a lot of fun yonis!! :lol:

thanks for sharing

 

 

:beaver:

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suncoastboi

That was great! Thanks bud! :lol:

 

Anyone want to meet at the hippo races?

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cupboardy

@Suncoast

 

Ooh yeah a chance to see you naked, yeah count me in...

 

ha ha - Good one Yonis :)

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Wonderwoman

I´m there for sure suncoastboi....

 

but I´m there for the classical music from the choir ;)

 

:ww:

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Evil Dildo

All I know is the men just ooze sex appeal and I can't get enough of their accent. *checks out SeducedStraightGuys.com*

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cupboardy

@ areyoumydrug

 

SeducedStraightGuys.com - Oh yeah baby, there is one vid on there where a big bloke walks in on another bloke wanking and makes him suck him loads, and he just keeps talking to him, telling him what to do..etc...hubba hubba :D

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Guest AgeofAquarius

:rofl: That was great stuff, thanks!

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Guest hairlover

I haven't seen Kiwikid around yet..... waiting for his reply ...................

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Wonderwoman
I haven't seen Kiwikid around yet..... waiting for his reply ...................

 

KK is quite busy with real life at the moment, but fear he will be around soon again :)

 

:ww:

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Guest fellow

Most Australian straight men don't have a brain - does that matter? (And I am Australian)

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Guest Spin72

Awesome, great stuff... loved it. :)

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Cool_a

Haha,.. very funny Yonis.

 

Sounds like we should invite whoever wrote those responses to this site.

 

:D

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Wonderwoman

yeah cool_a you are right, even if it is an AUSTRALIAN BEAVER :blink:

 

:ww:

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palerider

The really sad part is that it's probably true.

Aussies are very sarcastic, we don't mean to be. Those answers crack me up everytime.

And, for the record, in my town, we actually have kangaroos hopping down the middle of the road.

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ihno

Oh yeah, Australia and Kiwiland.

 

I heard about it. Someone told me they're on the underside of the earth. I was worried and asked if people fall off into space. Look on a globe and you know what I mean. But my friend told me that all australians etc. have magnets in their shoes, so it doesn't happen. God, was I relieved. :)

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Cool_a

Oh.

world.thumb.jpg.74103cbf3b1b4a6f7af3e0c5360ecdc8.jpg

m1703.gif

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