What made you laugh today?

[Tomster]

[Tomster]

[Kawika]

[JackFTwist]

"Loose Parts," June 9, 2020

IMO, the only problem the lady has is a lack of the proper wine equipment:

Edited June 13, 2020 by JackFTwist

[anubis]

 

[anubis]

[anubis]

[anubis]

[anubis]

[Tomster]

[stuck]

[anubis]

Edited June 14, 2020 by anubis

[anubis]

[anubis]

[anubis]

[anubis]

[suzienudie]

[suzienudie]

[suzienudie]

[bakersman94]

my Covid-19 isolation journal (sent to me by an online friend)

 

Since the start of the stay-at-home order, I have been isolating in my home and trying to avoid public contact.  I started a personal journal at the onset, and thought I'd share some of my writings with you today.  

 

Day 1.   I spent the whole day pondering stupid thoughts like why two plus two always had to equal four.  And whatever happened to Richard Simmons?

 

Day 3.   Today I added up all the Prime Numbers under one million, but somehow I did a "times zero" factor and ended up with nothing.

 

Day 4.   The cats and I decided to hunt down the three crickets living in the garage.  We named them Crispy, Crunchy and Tasty.  We'll move on to geckos next.

 

Day 6.   I get to take the garbage out today.  I'm so excited I can't decide what to wear.

 

Day 7.   It occurred to me today that I needn't apply my daily sunscreen if I didn't venture outside my house.

 

Day 10.  I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.

 

Day 12.  I analyzed that age-old question: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

 

Day 13.  I spent the whole day today trying to figure out what a woodchuck was.

 

Day 20.  Catering to my devious side, I plotted a hostile takeover of Google.  I own 2-1/3 shares.  Surely that's enough.  Maybe not.

 

Day 22.  I finally figured out where I could social-distance and be around a lot of people who were always 6 feet away from me.  I went to a cemetery.

 

Day 24.  Today I lounged in a lawn chaise and got bored.  So I decided to count how many grass blades were in a square inch of my lawn.  837.

 

Day 26.  I decided to learn a new language.  I learned a new Danish term: Häagen Dazs.  Tomorrow I'm trying my hand at Spanish.

 

Day 27.  Fuh-hee-tuz.  Delicious.

 

Day 30.  I decided to redo the Food Pyramid to my own liking.  Spaghetti-O's got the top spot, but I soon replaced them with Cheetos.

Day 31.  Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds. Who knew?

Day 33.  Today, I tried to make Hand Sanitizer. It came out as Jello Shots.

Day 35.  Went to a new restaurant called "The Kitchen". You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

Day 36.  I put liquor bottles in every room. Tonight, I'm getting all dressed up and going bar hopping.

Day 40.  I made a new friend and struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems nice. He's a Web Designer.

Day 43.  Isolation is hard. I swear my fridge just said, "What the hell do you want now?"

Day 50.  I realized why dogs get so excited about something moving outside, going for walks or car rides. I think I just barked at a mynah bird.

Day 51.  If you keep a beer in each hand, you can't accidentally touch your face.

 

Day 52.  I was missing the green flash at sunset when the sun disappears over the water, so I decided to make my own green flash.  Evidently using a battery charger and a tiki torch isn't quite the same.

 

Day 60.  After living through an actual plague, I totally understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are full of naked fat people laying on couches.

[suzienudie]

[suzienudie]

[suzienudie]

[suzienudie]

[suzienudie]