Canada, eh?

[Betelgeuse1547624869]

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. The country from which the question came is indicated in parentheses at the end of each question.

 

(Obviously, the answers are intended as jokes; but the questions were really asked!)

 

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)

A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

 

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

A: Depends on how much you've been drinking. :monkey:

 

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Norway)

A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles (six thousand kilometres). Take lots of water.

 

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. :excl:

 

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)

A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes. :grin:

 

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked. :ass:

 

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

 

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. :)

 

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A: No, we don't stink. :P

 

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

 

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs. :pen0z:

 

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving. :nono4:

 

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of Vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.

 

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.;)

 

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

 

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. :ass:

[hardrod]

These are hysterical, BG!! Thanks for sharing! :toofunny:

[hager75]

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A: No, we don't stink.

 

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

 

Those two responses are hilarious.

 

:hager75:

[apolinario]

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

 

This is the best one! I still trying to understand what did this guy tried to ask.

 

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.

 

This isn't a silly question, 99.999999999% of the countries in the World don't celebrate Thanlsgiving.

[Betelgeuse1547624869]

This isn't a silly question, 99.999999999% of the countries in the World don't celebrate Thanlsgiving.

 

Perhaps not. But people in the USA, for some unknown reason, choose to celebrate Thanksgiving in November! Here, in Canada, we appropriately revere our forefathers and original European settlers, not to mention celebrating the end of the harvest, in October. Before the fields freeze over. And the cranberries turn into popsicles. ;)

Edited March 28, 2011 by Betelgeuse

[ne1]

As much as I'd like to say I'm shocked that some of these questions were even asked.... truth is, I'm not.

 

"Anyone could miss Canada! Tucked all the way down there...” ~ Homer Simpson

 

Funny stuff tho!