This is much different than what I had planned for this month... but we have to learn to adapt... that's part of the secret to life... I'll be spending a much more quiet holiday this year than usual... a string of events over the last few months have lead to this decision. We have to look at the signs life show us and interpret and follow them... as a result I'm taking a much needed hiatus from social media and some other obligations to deal with the overwhelming sadness that grief dictates.
I've learned that grief never ends it just changes shape and texture... it's one of the passages of life and should never be confused with weakness... because grief is the price of love... I've been spending some much needed quiet time with myself and some memories of people and places and events... and I've had a few good laughs about some of the days I cried and shed some tears remembering the days filled with laughter.
So to everyone else who like me have not been themselves lately... our spark will return and the light of our eyes and smiles will light up life again...but we have to follow the pathway to that place and not let our life completely shut down and evaporate to bitterness and walking death... but for now.. I get up in the morning and get dressed and show up and don't give up hope... because every time I've been in this dark place... I've had hope as the candle lighting the way to the next passageway.
Have you ever thought about how many people think about you? Somewhere someone out of the blue sees or hears something and they remember you... and think about your face, or how you dress or a song that you like... or that spark in your eyes you have when you are happy... someone remembers all this even if they have not seen you in a while... Everything in life is a reminder of a person, place or moment in time that you think might be lost to time... but it's not.
I said in a past entry that life changes and when we loose something, or someone and have missing pieces in our life... that eventually something or someone finds their way to you... I believe this more and more as time goes by... but we have to honor the loss and learn from the person and events... I know better from experience it's important not to drown in the mire of misery... Remember this if you remember nothing else I have ever written... Misery loves company but Joy throws better parties.
From every loss come new meaning and insight to our lives if we allow ourselves to see it... Someone once told me something I've never forgotten... "None of us are a drop in the ocean... we are all the entire ocean in one drop!"
From everything and everyone lost but not forgotten... I know that between good night and good morning... I have the opportunity to see you and talk to you again... A special thank you to the person who told me before they died... "If you ever need me... I'll see you in your dreams!"
So however you are spending them... I wish you a joyous holiday season!
See you in 2023!
Edited by Kawika