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Date: Sat, 27 Jun 2015 13:52:56 -0500 From: Bix Meister <[email protected]> Subject: Jack Pine Savages Part 1 A Year In The Life Jack Pine Savages Part 1 By Bix Meister This is a story featuring gay men, and gay sex, intended for Adults, not Minors. It is fiction, and as such is not based on any actual people or events. It is a fantasy intended purely as a catalyst for pleasure. No attempts have been made to portray safe sex, but the author encourages you to practice it. If this is your first trip to my series, I suggest you start at the beginning, Snowplow. You will get to know the characters more. If you have suggestions or feedback, contact me at [email protected] ============================================================================ The Jack Pine, or Pinus Banksiana, is a North American Pine native to the northern woods of Minnesota. They are extremely plentiful between Duluth and my Northern Minnesota hometown. Taking Highway 2 west from Duluth, you can see entire swathes of Jack Pines. They are not as strong and majestic looking as the White Pine or Red Pine, Jack Pines are scrappy. Their strength lies in their ability to grow where others can't and regenerate after a fire. In fact it is fire, or intense heat that allows the pine cones of the Jack Pine to release their seed. Late February, 2000, I realized I was a Jack Pine, living among White Pines. It was a few days after Valentines day that I finally decided it was time to meet with Mike and negotiate a pay raise for Fred. His leadership on my home should be rewarded, and I wanted to see it happen. I called him from my cell phone and asked to meet at the diner, a neutral place. He suggested that we meet at Pete's house so he could see the end result of the pool table installation. I was hesitant at first, knowing what Pete felt about my interaction with Mike. However I thought it was time to bridge that gap, and bring Mike back into our fold. Plus he held the key to Fred being compensated for what he was bringing to the table. Yes I could simply pay the difference myself, give Fred a bonus, but what would happen when my project was done? Fred had quickly become an asset to Mike, one that should be rewarded down the line. I had to step up for a friend, do something that Pete would admire, but I still felt the need to go around Pete's back. I had told my office that I would be in late, so I walked through the farmhouse remodel with Pete and Fred, then made the short drive to what had become my new home. I let myself in and did a quick check of the place. We had been too busy the last few days to put up the sling, so I didn't have to worry about that. I took some cleaning spray and buffed out the smudge that Pete had noticed on the light fixture. I wanted to show the gift off to Mike. I think I wanted him to know how much Pete meant to me, and this was a very concrete expression of that love. Mike parked his work van, then knocked on the door. He was a bit sheepish which was always a hot look for him. I let Mike in, shook his hand, then showed him downstairs. He was duly impressed by the pool table. "Looks like it's always been here, it's perfect. But I know that isn't the reason you invited me over." I motioned towards the chair in the corner, he sat, I grabbed a seat on the sectional. "You are right, I wanted to talk to you because I think Fred is doing a great job at my house, and he should be compensated for all of the extra things he is doing." I shared all of my reasons for the promotion, and Mike listened. He would question me about details, but overall he paid attention to what I was saying, without interjecting. "So what is the bottom line? What do you think this raise should be worth? Five hundred bucks a month?" "Double it, and we're talking." I took a hard-line stance with Mike, hoping it would pay off. "Tell you what, you beat me in a game of pool, and we're on." "You know we both suck at pool and I don`t want to do any damage to Pete`s new table, we'll have to figure out another wager." Mike motioned to the workout room across the way. "Why don't we wrestle. If I pin you, he gets a five hundred dollar raise. If you win, it's a thousand. Either way Fred wins in the end. But I got a client meeting in an hour, can't get this shirt all sweaty." Mike was so naïve he didn't realize that what he said sounded like a set up from some low budget gay porn shoot. I knew, but played along. I had the extra incentive to beat Mike, and earn Fred the raise he deserved. If I lost, I got to roll around on the mat, with a half naked Mike, and Fred would still get a raise. I got up and approached Mike, holding out my hand "Deal?" I said. "Deal" he said shaking my hand. He got up and undid his shirt, throwing it on the chair. I started to unbutton mine as we went into the workout room. I threw my shirt on the weight bench then faced Mike. Fuck, had I been stupid when I suggested this form of salary negotiation? He was as imposing as always standing there wearing pants and work boots. We started to circle each other. "Okay, lets get this straight. I win, he gets 500, if you win, 1k, a draw we cut it down the middle." Mike added another level to our contest. Talk about a win, win, win situation. If I was able to just hold out long enough, my friend Fred would get an nine thousand dollar raise over the course of the year. This was more incentive to help my buddy, and I think that incentive gave me an unfair advantage. I lunged at Mike, took him down. At times I still thought of myself as that geeky 15 year old, and here I was, knocking a hefty slab of beef down to the ground . He struggled away from me and we both got back to our feet. "Whoa, where'd that come from buddy? Pete giving you private lessons?" He looked more intense as we were facing off. I conjured up the energy I used when I took down Rodney on New Years Eve, and I tackled Mike. He slipped free quickly, then jumped me while I was down on the mat. We spent the next minute grappling, trying to get control of the match. I had the upper hand and I was almost counting on a draw when Mike flipped me onto my back and raised my right leg to get leverage. We were face to face, his crotch to my ass as he muscled me into this new position. Both of us were breathing heavily from the workout we were getting, a drop of sweat fell from his brow onto my face. Then I felt it. Mike had a hard-on. He saw the shock on my face, he responded with a smile. "I got you now" he said then out of nowhere he kissed me. Hell, Mike had kissed me before, that night in the bar, but this wasn't a brotherly kiss, this was tongue down my throat, hands everywhere, rolling on the wrestling mat, kissing. I kissed back, grabbing a hold of his dick through his canvas pants. We wrestled like this for a few minutes then Mike stopped. "Shit, what have I done?" "Yes, what the hell have you done? Is this what my lover and my friend do to me? Fuck around behind my back? Pete's voice boomed from the doorway of the workout room. We got up off the mat quickly, speechless for a second. Mike was the first to find his voice. "It's not what you think, we were just wrestling and I got carried away. It's not Kyle's fault, he was just doing a favor for a friend." "I saw enough to know what to think. What was that favor, give you a hand job, maybe blow ya? Hell he'd probably have his ass on that pool table for you about now if I hadn't walked in. And here we had a pact, I thought I loved him, but he's just a slut looking for the next piece of meat. Is that why Derek was so worked up the other day? God, why do I even concern myself with you?" Pete lowered his head and shook it, he muttered "Slut" again under his breath. It cut me to the core. Then stupidly I said "Well what about you and Justin? You've probably been fucking him on the sly. That's why he keeps sending his "Daddy" emails. Does "Daddy" spank his son's ass before he fucks it?" I was worked up, even used air quotes for the word "Daddy". "What are you doing reading my private emails? So I can add untrustworthy in addition to Slut? For your information I wasn't doing a damn thing with Justin, I kept on brushing him off for you. What a waste of my time." Meanwhile Mike made a gesture towards the door. "I suppose I had better leave" he said. "Yes you should, and don't let the door hit you on the way out. What the hell kind of friend are you anyway?" Pete looked at me. "You too, leave. I don't want to see you here again. I'll start boxing your stuff up, while you go look for another electrician. And when I am done, you might have to look for another plumber and carpenter." Pete put his head in his hands then turned away from me. For a second I thought I heard sobbing, then a weak voice said "You have a minute, by the time I turn, you had better be gone." I didn't take a minute, I barely buttoned my shirt when I threw on my jacket. I was out the door as I saw Mike's work van head towards town.. In that moment I didn't really know where to go, what to do. Due to a momentary lapse in judgment, I just screwed up the thing that meant the most to me, my relationship, and love for Pete. I drove the short distance to the farmhouse, left the car running then slumped against the steering wheel and began to cry. I started to see everything that had happened to me over the last few months, and realized they were all going to be sad memories. From the warmth and safety of my car I called the office and said I would need a personal day. Jean knew from my voice that it wasn't for a good reason, she also knew better than to ask. I finally killed the engine, then girded myself to what I was going to face inside. I walked in, my head down trying to hide my red eyes. Fred hit me rapid fire with a barrage of questions. "Where's Pete, did he find the pipe wrench, why aren't you at the office, I thought that's where you were going?" I looked up. From the response I knew he saw the tears. "Pete and I are done. I fucked up. If you need me, I'll be up in my room." Fred opened his mouth, started to speak. I held out my hand to stop him. "Nothing to be said, nothing I can do. Just give me my time. Then maybe we can talk." I went upstairs, removed my coat, and pulled the covers over my body. I was emotionally drained, so I fell asleep quickly. I barely heard the door open an hour or so later. I was aware of Fred stripping down to his shorts, then climbing into bed with me. "This is payback for all the times you were there for me" he said, then hugged me tenderly. I don't think I saw daylight the rest of the day. Fred got up mid-afternoon, replaced the covers then went downstairs. I was vaguely aware that the guys were giving me space, their voices were hushed. About six or so there was a tap at my door. "Ready to face the world?" It was Charlie. I let him in, he sat on the bed. "So what the hell happened? Fred said you and Pete broke up." "I fucked up Charlie, I was trying to help a friend and suddenly I was thinking with my dick." I didn't want to tell him everything, so I changed the subject. "Will you guys let me stay here while I figure things out?" I finally cracked a smile at that, asking to live in my own home. "Like we could kick you out?" Charlie said. "Hey, we're about to eat, why don't you join us." I got up, out of bed, and was greeted by Charlie's open arms. I quickly fell into his embrace. He kissed my cheek, whispered in my ear. "You'll figure this out, be back in his arms before you know it" "I'm not so sure about that Charlie, when I fuck up, I fuck up big time, and I doubt I would have me back if I was Pete." I followed Charlie downstairs. "Look who I raised from the dead" Charlie said. "I hope you made enough pasta for four Angelo." "Who are you kidding, you know he always cooks for an Army" Fred said. "Too bad he doesn't have a few army buddies by for me, I wouldn't mind playing Don't Ask Don't Tell with a bulky drill sergeant." We all laughed at Fred's joke. It was great to smile after what I had been through. I think the guys had learned not to talk about what happened, so we talked about everything but. Sharing food had always been important to us, and that pasta dinner gave me the energy to make it through the rest of the day. Nothing helped me that night. My dreams were frenetic, disjointed. I remember snippets that were erotic, then others that bared my soul. I would wake up in effort to kill a dream, then when I fell asleep it would come back stronger. I finally slowed my breathing enough in an effort to control my dreams. I was alone downstairs looking over the plans for the remodel. We had to change the timeline due to our new electrician. Derek came downstairs, stepped behind me and started to look at the plans over my shoulder. Suddenly I felt his hefty dick against my ass. "These are the plans we should be talking about. The plans to bury this dick in that ass of yours..." "Even Derek?!" Pete's voice startled me from my sleep. I looked at the darkness of my room, half expecting Pete to be there. I laid there silently for a moment, then realized what I needed. I went to Fred's room, silently let myself in. We were both naked, but I knew I was safe with him. I got under the covers and backed up to Fred, pulling his arm around me. He woke enough to say "Anytime you need me bud, anytime" then fell asleep. A half an hour later, I joined him. I don't remember much of the next few days. My friends and coworkers guarded me during the day to day grind. The gang at my office took control, I barely needed to show up for work, but I did anyway out of habit. Fred slowed down the remodel schedule while he looked for an electrician he trusted. On Friday he shared his news. Mike had called him earlier that day offering a raise of $750 per month. Mike considered that we wrestled to a draw. I guess I would have to agree since we both lost. By Friday afternoon I needed centering. Charlie and Angelo left early for their trip to Vegas, it was just going to be Fred and I. I watched the nightly news and saw the forecast for the weekend, clear but cold. The lows for the early morning hours were to be in the minus twenty degree territory An Alberta Clipper was flowing down from Canada, ready for a week long residency. Throughout the broadcast area there were temperatures ranging from the minus teens to minus thirty on the Range. The minus fifteen that hovered over my hometown made it seem almost tropical. "Wanna join me on a road trip tomorrow Fred? I need to go see my dad." "Your dad? I thought he was dead" "He is, but his spirit is there, just the right thing to see me through." Fred said "Sure, I'd love to see your hometown. Been here most of my life, might as well branch out a bit." I made no pretense about sleeping alone that night, and we made no pretense about being chaste as we held each other. What Fred and I developed over the last few months was a deep love for each other and though his hard-on might have caressed my bare flesh, it was not sexual. The loving arms holding me meant that my dreams that Friday night were safe. I do remember introducing Fred to my dad. As we left Fred asked "What does it feel like?" I awoke not knowing what that question meant. The quiet of the farmhouse that Saturday morning was only slightly disrupted by the sound of the coffee maker, and the shuffling of Fred's slipper clad feet. I looked over my shoulder as he entered the kitchen. "Thanks" was all I could say as I poured two travel mugs. "For what?" Fred said, taking his mug from me. "For being there, for doing this." I poured the rest of the coffee into a thermos. "I'm sure you have something better to do on Saturday. You don't have to go, why don't you take a trip to the sauna?" "I want to be with my friend, see his hometown. I will have plenty of time to go to the sauna later." I warmed up the car while Fred got dressed. There was no agenda, just drive home, see the town, visit the cemetery, maybe grab a bite to eat. Fred joined me in the front seat, throwing a backpack into the back. We got on the road about 8:00. I stopped at a gas station and picked up a few Twig Bakery donuts. We drove silently, listening to the oldies station. We were just short of an hour out when we drove through Floodwood. Like my hometown, it's just a blip on the map. "Hey, isn't this where Charlie's from?" Fred asked. That question was all it took to get the conversation going. I told him of our old rivalry with Floodwood. I remember their school, their gymnasium. I always remember it as being rundown. "You know Fred, when I was young I thought people from Floodwood were poor. There were a lot of loggers, and men who made the trip to work the mines. It was just a quick judgment I made as a young kid, but I never get that impression from the people I know now, who grew up there." "Maybe it's because they were the ones who got out" Fred pointed out. I mulled it over for a bit, and saw his point. We were about six miles out of town when we saw a whole stand of Jack Pines. They had a rust hue to them which I pointed out to Fred. I told him what I knew about the Jack Pines. How and where they grow. What they're used for. What animals like their habitat. But the thing that always impressed me was their resiliency. "See that rust? Sooner or later that is going to take over, leaving these trees to die. There will either be a fire, or the loss of needles will mean that sunlight will finally reach the pine cones. The heat of the fire or the warmth of the sun will release the seeds from the cones, and a new generation of trees will start growing." "My Uncle Hal used to call he and my dad "The Jack Pine Savages." They knew this area forwards and backwards. Growing up here during the Great Depression was tough, but they grew tougher because of it. They lived off the land growing up, not easy to do around here, and they hunted for food, not sport." "They both enlisted for World War II like many of their friends. Luckily they came back alive possibly because of the skills they learned in the Jack Pines. My dad had opportunities after the war, but he decided to head home. I'm glad he did because that is where he met mom, they had me, and now I have a great friend like you." "What does it feel like?" Fred asked. I almost hit the brakes at that question. It was straight out of my dream from last night. "What does what feel like?" I countered. "To have a father that you can look up to?" I drove in silence, not sure how to answer it. My little bit of nostalgia had taken up a good portion of our trip and we were minutes from my hometown. I pointed out the changes in habitat, trees, and elevation. I started to see the houses where friends lived. I felt a sudden sorrow not knowing who lived here now, and even more sorrow when I saw the evidence that some of these childhood homes were abandoned. It was just before ten when we saw the lake, my hometown perched on the hill on the other side. I saw the city limits sign and chuckled at what was written at the bottom of it. Pop. 469. I had worked in buildings that had twice that in employees. Then there was also that number, 4-69. It was a number I could get behind. "So this is it? This would just be a neighborhood in Duluth." Fred was spot on. We took a right and drove up the hill to the downtown, or what was left of it. There were a few cars, but no one I recognized. I took a right and drove a few blocks then stopped the car, pointing to a small two story house. "Can you believe that 6 kids and parents lived in that house? Look at what I own right now compared to that, and it was just me for almost three years. Look at what Pete and I have.. Uh had." I caught myself, Fred did too. "You are going to have it again, you just have to work it out." Fred saw optimism where I saw none. I started the car, drove him around the compact town I knew as my universe. I showed him my cousin's place, the town park and beach, the boulevard that hugged the lakeshore. I again struggled to remember who lived where, but certain homes stuck out. I remembered which home had a dirt basement, perfect for Tonka Trucks. I remembered which of my mom's friends always made bread that she would share with me. I knew which house my best friend lived in, and which house we would sneak peeks at Playboy while we had our first beers. "You mean your whole life wasn't "Leave It To Beaver?" I thought you were living in a sixties sit-com for a while there buddy. But you looked at straight tittie mags and drank beer?" "Their house was a bit on the freer side. The sister also had Playgirl and the older brother had the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers comics, so I could sneak some peeks at dicks too while sipping the stolen beer." As I gave him the grand tour, I started to see life. Some of the people looked familiar, then I realized it was one of my schoolmates. I smiled since the years made them look like their parents had looked back in the day. I wondered if they saw me and thought of my dad. However, my dad was the only thing I could think of, so we drove out to the cemetery. The cemetery is pretty bleak in Winter. Few headstones poked out of the deep snow carpeting it, but I knew where my dad's plot was. I parked the car and sat there, letting the engine idle. "Kyle, you never told me what it's like, having a dad that was there for you. One you can look up to" "It was all I knew at the time. Fred, this was my universe. We would leave a few times every year, go see relatives for vacation, but this was all I knew about. I knew some kids who had parents who were alcoholics, or abusive, but in my universe I had love and acceptance." Fred reached into the back seat, grabbed his backpack. Out of it he pulled a small flag, one you might carry on the Fourth of July. "I remember you once said he was in World War II. He deserves this on his grave. It will bring some color to this cold winter morning." Fred was right. Winter had robbed the landscape of it's color. It was almost like we were in a black and white world. Grey skies, white and grey birches, even the pines took on a dark grey hue. I let the car run as we got out. There was only a tip of the Veteran's cross sticking out of the snow, signifying his plot. We trudged through the snow and planted the flag there. I hugged Fred as we walked back to the car. The simple gesture he made meant everything to me. We drove back to town, pulled into the parking lot of the local diner. I was about to walk in, when I saw my sister's best friend, Rhonda. "DUKE, what are you doing here?" she walked toward me, throwing her arms out for a hug, "and why didn't you call me?" "Just had a need to see the old home. We were about to have lunch, want to join us?" "I have a better idea, come out to my house, I got enough food for an army, I can throw something together for the two of you. When Rhonda says that, you just play along. "Change of plans" I said to Fred. "She insists on feeding us. But you'll like her home, great view of the lake." When we got to her place, I introduced each other. There was a slight hesitance when I said Fred's name. Fred mentioned he needed to use the bathroom, so I pointed the way. "I thought your lover's name was Pete, Kate, John and Mandy told me all about him. He also isn't as tall as I expected." "Right now I am not sure if he is still my lover. I kinda screwed up. Fred is just a good friend who happens to be there for me when I need him, and today I really need him." Fred joined us in the kitchen as Rhonda rooted through the fridge. She pulled out some salads, chicken and bars. Yep, this was always the case. She could put on a smorgasbord at a moments notice. Fred and I piled our plates, then joined her in the living room which looked out onto a frozen lake. Rhonda put her right leg on the sofa cushion, then sat down on it. Her petite frame belied an outsized personality. We started sharing childhood memories as we ate. Fred took interest in people he didn't know. "So what was Kyle's dad like? I asked him and he won't say." "He's just being modest. Roy was the smartest, best looking man in town that wasn't related to me. He worked hard, and was proud of all of his kids, even when they weren't perfect. If you really want to know what Roy was like, you just have to look at Kyle there. I can see a lot of Roy in him." "That I believe" Fred said. "Kyle, I haven't told you this before, but you and Pete are the closest I have ever had to a real father. Yeah, I had the guy who donated his sperm, but no one to look up to. I'm not gonna blame being a drunk on him, that is all on me, but I doubt he would be here to support me like you two have." "Oh that is one thing Roy certainly wouldn't have dealt with. He wasn't too big on drinking. He just didn't realize that all of his kids snuck away. I think your mom knew, didn't she? "Oh mom was aware, but she too thought it was always someone else who poured the beer down our throats. "Who did this to you? "She said one time when my brother came home drunk." We all laughed at that. "You are lucky both of them cared enough to even do that. My dad probably would have stole my bottle." "Well you are lucky Duke is in your life now. I love him like a brother." The feeling was mutual. Rhonda offered us coffee to drink while we had some of her tasty bars. We spent the better part of the afternoon chatting while watching snowmobilers crisscrossing the lake, while others were out ice fishing. The day had warmed up to a very crisp zero, but that just meant everyone on the ice had another layer of clothing keeping them warm. As the sun started to set, creating a pinkish-yellow glow over my hometown across the lake, we realized it was time to leave. Rhonda threw together a few sandwiches and bars for our trip, then refilled our thermos with coffee. "Promise me two things Duke. You'll work on getting Pete back, and when you do, you will bring Pete and Fred back to visit." "I will do my best" I said. "Try keeping me away" Fred added. Just outside of town I saw a row of pine trees. "They were planted when I was young, now they're thirty feet high. Where has the time gone?" The oldies station was our soundtrack for a while. Songs that were new when those trees were planted, had stood the test of time. Neither of us were good singers, but we would hum or whistle along. Suddenly we were by the Jack Pines outside Floodwood. "Duke" Fred said. "It's time you start working on getting Pete back. Be like the Jack Pines and let those pine cones open. It's time for a rebirth. You inherited that spirit from your dad." Jack Pine Savages Part 2 Saturday night I knew the truth. Fred and Rhonda were right. I needed to get Pete back, but I didn't know how to do it. When we got back to Duluth, I dropped off Fred, then drove back to our place. I knocked at the door. Pete's truck was there, but the house was dark. I looked in the window, and saw a light downstairs, probably coming from the sauna door. I knocked loudly, wasn't sure if he heard me, so I continued for a few minutes. When nothing changed, I drove back home. Then I called him, nothing. I called his cell phone, nothing. Finally I found myself at the computer keyboard writing an email. "Pete What can I say, I fucked up. I realize you may not believe me but you have to know nothing ever happened between me and Mike. I wish there was something I could say, something I could do to let you know how I feel. Tell me what I need to do because I don't like living this way. I need to be home with you, in your arms. There is only one man who means more to me than you, and he is no longer alive. Tell me what I need to do, I'll do it. 1-4-3 Kyle" Click/send. Fred joined me in the upstairs office. He put a plate with a sandwich and bars in front of me, then sat in the adjoining chair. "Someday soon, we can do this downstairs in the new office. But you better not spill coffee on the woodwork, I hear the carpenter is a real bear" "Are you saying bear as in a grizzly animal, or as a furry gay furnace. Because I know which one I would rather sleep with tonight. It's supposed to be minus 30 tonight out there." "I'll keep you warm Duke. You don't mind me calling you Duke do you?" "I don't mind at all, it makes you feel like part of the family. Which you are, you know." I ate my sandwich while we talked. We decided to watch some home improvement shows, then head to bed. Fred's strong arms held me while we watched TV, and did the same while we slept. The safety I felt, caused me to sleep soundly. Dreams, good or bad, were kept at bay. The next morning I checked my email. The email to Pete was delivered and read, but no response. However I did get an email from Van who wanted to stop by and check on our progress. I sent back a reply suggesting we meet late afternoon. Fred cooked a hearty breakfast while I was on the computer. He brought up a plate to the office. I told him of our afternoon visitor. It was a mixed blessing for Fred. He wanted to show the architect his handiwork, but also was concerned that work on the house was at a stand still until an electrician could be freed up. "Sorry Fred, I've just lost focus on this project. My heart's not in it. My heart's not in a lot of things. I think the office would be better off if I stayed home too." I hated saying it, but it was the truth. The cold black and white landscape of my hometown cemetery had followed me home. My mind was seeing shades of grey, color had long vanished from my vision.. My trip home had momentarily lifted me from the funk I was in, but the lack of response from Pete put me back there. Seeing Van that afternoon brought back a little of the color I was missing. His fiery red beard was augmented by his orange and blue plaid shirt. He walked through the finished bathroom noticing the details that Fred and the crew had taken such pride in. When he saw the progress in the office he stopped. The rich woods were singing. His hands lingered on a detail. He left his finger there as he looked up to Fred. "This is exactly how I envisioned this. Wait, no, it's better." Van's eyes sparkled, his smile shone through his red beard. "I've got a project that has your name on it when you're done here. I'll talk it over with Mike. Look at this Kyle. This wood is all the color you need in this room. When I drove up here today I noticed your white farmhouse against the grey and white landscape of winter and I was starving for some color, any color. I was worried about your white bathroom, but the details elevate it. I wondered if the office needed color, but seeing it now, the answer is no." It shook me how he was channeling me like that. "I've been feeling the need for color too, how can we accomplish it?" "Look at Pete's home. The warm wood is a break from this cold winter weather." Van saw the look on my face. "Oh sorry about that, I forgot for a moment. Any chance of you two getting back together?" "I don't know, I am trying, but right now the ball's in his court." "I barely know you but I can see that what you guys had is worthwhile, something to fight for. But if it doesn't work out I know someone who is single and available." Van absentmindedly twisted his nipple through his orange flannel shirt. FUCK, here I was lamenting my failed relationship and he says that? "Don't tease me like that buddy. I haven't given up yet." "And you shouldn't. I am sorry I said that my friend. I just want to find my own Pete or Kyle down the line." We walked through the rest of the plans. It was a shot of adrenaline to the project, but still I was pessimistic about the completion timeline. Van gave me a hug when he left. "Make it work with Pete" he said. "We'll make it work here." That night I chanced sleeping alone. Fred had to get up early the next day to work on one of Pete's other projects. Sleep found me quickly, the day had drained me of my energy. I recall one dream that night. I was in my new office, installing my computer there. Pete had left it on the porch along with a few boxes of clothes. "Figured you might need this" was written on a small piece of paper taped to the box. I got the computer up and running, when I looked towards the door. There stood a naked Van silhouetted by the ochre wall of the hallway. "Does the color work for you?" he said. My eyes started at the bright red hair at the top of his head. His olive green eyes winked back at me behind those tortoise shell frames. The fiery beard mingled with the more coppery fur carpeting his chest, his muscular chest. Two strong arms were crossed below that chest, framing his erect nipples. I wanted to look further down, I wanted to see his dick, but Van startled me by tweaking his nipple. "I said, does this color work for you?" Though Fred tried to be quiet, the closing of the door woke me, and not a moment too soon. I got up, pissed, and then walked naked to the office where I powered up the computer. Still no response from Pete. I walked back to my old bedroom, rifled through the remnants of my drawers. The clothes I had left there were minimal, I would need to do laundry soon. I might have been a bit petulant after getting dressed, so before I left, I sat down at the computer. "Pete Still wondering what I can do. I know you have read my other email. I know you are home. I know you aren't answering the phone or the door. I might need to stop by for clothes if this keeps up. Kyle" Click/send! Regret sending. I went in to work, got there early, though I am not sure why. Driving past Pete's house was painful. Yes Van was right, the wood tones of his house had a warm glow on this cold day. But all I could feel was the chill in the air created by not being there with Pete. The truck in the driveway clued me in, he was home, but there was no signs of life. And then there was Van. That dream last night, that image of him standing there. Well I'll be honest. It gave me my first hard-on since my ill fated wrestling match with Mike. However we had a business relationship, something I had to steer clear of. After all, look what happened the last time I crossed that line. I made it through the day at work, and thought of going straight home, but Fred called me to let me know he would be working late that night. I drove to a fast food place. I ordered, then brought my tray to a table. That is when I saw him. Sitting across from me, a few tables over, was "World's Greatest Dad" I wasn't sure, I rarely saw him with his clothes on, but yes it was him. He was wearing glasses this time, tortoise frames similar to Van's. He didn't see me at first. He was paying attention to his wife and daughter whose backs were towards me. "WGD" was an attentive dad, cutting up the daughters chicken pieces. The daughter got fussy, so the wife took her to the bathroom. That is when "WGD" noticed me. He smiled a me at first, like an acquaintance. Then a leer grew across his face as he realized how he knew me. He took a plastic fork and stabbed a piece of chicken which he placed on his tongue, winked at me while he wolfed that down. Then he grabbed some fries, dipped them in the sauce then shoved them suggestively into his mouth. "Later" he mouthed, then winked. What the fuck was wrong with him? A married man, out for a quick bite with his wife and kid, and he is trying to pick me up. But what the fuck was wrong with me? I was getting hard thinking about him despite myself. I high-tailed it out of there, dumping my tray as quickly as I could. I fumbled with my keys at first in my car, then started it up, I looked back at the restaurant. The "WGD" was looking at me in my car. He gave me a thumbs up as his wife arrived. I was glad I never saw her face. All along he had just been that hot straight guy I fucked, then sent home to wife and kid. I never expected to see the wife and kid. I was somewhere uncomfortably between horny and ashamed. My second hard-on in a week was due to this encounter. I drove out of the parking lot, and turned right instead of left. My car knew where it was heading. It was heading down to the sauna. Of course I blame my car for having a mind of it's own, but in reality I was thinking with my dick. I could fixate on the breakup for another night, or I could go play around with someone new. My dick said "Chance it" so I parked, paid my entrance, then walked downstairs. It was quiet, a couple of the regulars who I hadn't seen in a while. I still had standards in my horniness, and they were not "sauna-worthy." I wrapped a towel around my waist and sat in the TV room. Then he entered. I am not sure I remember what detail I saw first, there were so many fighting for my attention. It could have been the salt and pepper beard stubble on his strong cleft chin, or the windburn on his cheeks. Maybe it was the shock of chest hair spilling out of opened jacket. Possibly it was how his snowmobile pants rustled against his thick thighs as he walked. But the kicker, the thing I'll always remember, he was wearing a snowmobile jacket with his club's name on it, "The Jack Pine Savages." He walked by me sitting there. He saw me, the corner of his mouth drew up in a smile. His tongue darted out as he quietly chuckled "Yeah." I waited a minute to listen to his actions. I heard the locker open then the sound of him getting undressed. After the locker closed, I heard the distinct sound of the shower door being opened and closed. I hesitated, then walked that way. The shower was empty, so was the back video room. I knew where he would be, I went into the sauna. There he sat on the top tier, almost exactly where I usually sit. Our body language already dictated that we were going to be enjoying each other's company, so I sat down beside him, less than a palm's width between us. He opened his legs a bit, spreading his thick thighs, closing that gap. "Great way to warm up from this deep freeze isn't it?" His thick hands landed on my thigh and started to massage. "I know a way to make it even hotter in here." His hand went to the nape of my neck, and massaged me there. What started out as a massage quickly changed direction as his other hand stroked his uncut 6 inch dick. I felt the pressure on my neck as he pointed his dick towards me. It was evident what he wanted from me. I knew it would break the ice. He rolled back the foreskin, then helped lower my head down to his crotch. Damn, he was tasty, and boy did I need that taste. "Yeah, getting hotter already buddy, too hot in here, let's go find a room." He didn't bother wrapping a towel around himself, nor did he even think of a shower. He too was thinking with his dick, and I followed his meaty ass out of the sauna, into one of the large rooms. I started to close the door. "Leave it open" he said, "make the others jealous." "Let's see, where were we? Oh yeah, you were giving me head buddy." I plunged down on his dick as soon as he laid down. "Yeah, that's it, get it all nice and wet, spent the day with another buddy who got me all hot and bothered looking at his ass. He's not here, so you are gonna get what he had cumming." I bobbed up and down on the snowmobiler's dick as he started to play with my butt hole. Whoever had him raring to go earlier, was certainly missing out on a hot session now. I was enjoying this guy, maybe because he reminded me of a chunkier Pete, but possibly because he was giving me a closeness I had missed this past week. I came up off his dick after a few minutes, looked in his eyes. "What's your name?" "Don... Now get back on it." His strong hand directed my head back on his dick as two fingers started to explore my ass. I got him ready, he got behind me and started to rub his dick up and down my crack. Just then a guy in a matching snowmobile jacket walked by the room. "Shit, is that him? Close the door." I got up and quickly closed the door. "That's him" he said. "I need you to do something for me. Go see if he is undressing. If it's the guy I am thinking of, you will know by the black and red watch band, and the greatest ass you have ever seen on a guy. Talk to him, ask him his name. If it's Jed, bring him back and I will show you both a three way that will have your ass twitching for months. By the way, the lights will be off, leave them off `til I tell you to turn them on." I went to the locker room, pretended to look for something in my locker, while the new guy undressed. I saw him hang up his snowmobile jacket. The "Jack Pine Savages" insignia was there. He pulled off his shoes, and pants, then his shirt. He turned towards the locker while he took off his underwear. Don was right, this ass rivaled Pete's or the World's Greatest Dad. On his left hand I saw the black and red watch band. I left the locker room and went into the sauna, taking my perch. The new guy entered. He was about ten years younger than me. He smiled at me, then claimed his spot right next to me, flashing that ass at me before he sat down. "Cold night for snowmobiling, had to come in out of the deep freeze. Maybe I'll find something to take the chill off." "The name's Kyle, what's yours?" "Jed, nice to meet you Kyle." He reached over towards my hard-on. "That'll take the chill off" I said. "But I might have something even better in another room, want to join a party?" "Lead the way Stud" Oh I wanted to follow Jed's ass. Something about it drew me in, but I had to take the lead that night. I got up, threw my towel over my shoulder, and motioned for Jed to follow me. He did the same, his towel was over his shoulder, allowing his hard dick to bob as he walked towards the room. I opened the door to the room, the light that filtered over the walls barely silhouetted Don as he sat against the cold brick wall. His thighs were spread wide, six inches of uncut dick throbbed between them. "Chow down buddy" I said. "Get it nice and slippery for later." I knew that Don was hiding in the shadows for some reason, so I directed the action. "Yeah, suck on his dick while I get that ass of yours ready for it. Hands and knees buddy, get on your hands and knees" I lifted his butt a little, then pushed the small of his back down to give me a better angle. I sniffed between his cheeks, smelled the musk of a man, then started chowing down. I was in ass-pig heaven as I rimmed him. With just a few licks Jed had reached the same level of rim inspiration as Angelo and Worlds Greatest Dad had been. As my nose followed the trail my tongue did up and down his ass trench, he started to rival Pete. My hands played with his cheeks as I licked away. I teased his hole with my thumbs, alternating between the two. Each tease, opened his ass more. I gave Don the OK sign, he gave me a thumbs up back, then gestured for Jed to flip. "Get on your back buddy, I think our friend is ready. Jed complied, laying down on his back. In the darkness Don lifted Jed's legs, planted his dick against Jed's hole, then gave me the signal to flip the light switch. I got up, flipped the switch. A shocked Jed said "Don!" then Don slammed his uncut dick into his snowmobiling buddy in one fluid motion. "Who else buddy? We've been beating around this bush for too long, its about time I plow that ass of yours." With that, Don leaned forward and kissed his friend as he started to fuck that near perfect ass. Yeah, I realized it was near perfect. Near perfect because it wasn't Pete's. The three way suddenly became two guys going at it, and a distracted spectator. It was as if I was watching the b-movie version of my love life with Pete. I had to get out of there. I went to my locker. I wasn't sure what to do with myself, head home, or stick around and watch TV. I looked in my pockets for change, maybe I'd get a pop from the machine. I noticed that I missed a call from Fred, so I redialed. "Yeah, down at the diner... No the other diner... Not all you can eat tonight, but if you stop by I can promise you all you can hug... Okay, see you soon." Ten minutes later Fred walked through the TV room. I joined him at his locker as he undressed. It's funny how I had almost dismissed him a few months ago when he was just another one of Pete's drunk friends. Now I looked at him getting undressed and I saw him as a masculine, even sexy friend. "How about a sauna, shower and then hug?" I said. "If you see something to your liking I won't hold you back, but I don't see sex in my cards tonight." Fred joined me at my spot in the sauna. We talked about his newest project, it was a time filler until he could get back to working full time on my house. He had also met with Van who wanted him to work on his next major renovation. A banking executive just moved up to Duluth from the Twin Cities and wanted Van's stamp on his house. The timing sounded perfect if we could complete my remodel by the end of May. Fred and I sweated away in the sauna. It was a unique experience, talking shop instead of talking sex, but I enjoyed it. Then he entered. The World's Greatest Dad climbed to the top tier and laid down, ass up. He raised his ass for a moment, then pushed his dick back. I had seen this happen many times before, and I knew what was expected of me. He wiggled his ass as his dick plumped up. I marveled again that it seemed to be the younger, cut twin to Pete's. Once again it wasn't the real thing. It wasn't the dick, or the man that I loved. Fred on the other had started to get hard, harder than I'd ever seen him. "You like?" I whispered and nodded towards WGD's furry ass. "Yes, yes very much. I'd like to deep throat that mother." "Ain't gonna happen, he'll have other plans for you. And who knows, you might like them, broaden your horizons." Worlds Greatest Dad wiggled his ass once again. In the light of the sauna you could see his hole spasm as it winked to us. He sat up, stroked his dick once then wrapped the towel loosely around his waist before descending the tiers. He went to the door, opened it, then nodded for the two of us to follow him. WGD wanted a three-way. Any other time I might have jumped at the opportunity, but not that night. We followed him out of the sauna, through the shower and locker room, and down to the large corner room. He opened the door, only to see Jed's ass being pummeled by Don. He went across the hall, opened the door, and saw it was empty. I looked at the World's Greatest Dad as he dropped his towel and said to him "Sorry buddy, I'm heading home. You're up Fred, do me proud." WGD's well sculpted ass entered the room, Fred was right behind it. I showered, dressed then said goodbye to the man behind the counter. "Have a good night buddy, hope you had fun" he said. "More important than that my friend. I felt the chill leave my body." I got out in the subzero night. My car started, and I put the heater on blast. I drove home as I often did, taking the scenic route. I thought of Pete, and for the first time since we broke up, there was hope in my thoughts. Why settle for a pale imitation of Pete, when I can have the real thing. And though I have fun, why would I fuck someone who is married to another person, when I could be spending my time fighting for the man who isn't perfect, but is perfect for me. Optimism warmed my thoughts, Optimism that carried me until I got home. There on the side porch was a cardboard box. It was from Pete, filled with some of my clothes neatly folded. Unlike the dream, there was no note attached.Jack Pine Savages Part 3: Clarity********** This Chapter is written from each man's perspective as noted ********** ********** Kyle's Story ********** There was a certain clarity in the fall and winter months when I was 15. Puberty can be confusing for anyone, especially someone from a small town in the early 1970's, fighting with his sexuality. However a chance introduction via TV, to the guy who would become my favorite jerk off fantasy, slammed the door shut on any question of my orientation. Even though I did nothing to act on it, I felt sure and strong in my future as a gay man. My parents gave me the conviction to live my life, and express the thoughts I did, even if they were unpopular. I thought then that people could see right through me, knew my secret, but in the end I didn't care. For an awkward scrawny fifteen year old, I had strength in my beliefs, and my many friends accepted me the way I was. Beyond Ivan, my TV crush, I remember some of the other men who helped map out what kind of man attracted me. For the most part they were MEN, not boys. I was the team manager for Basketball and Football. Only a few of the players caught my eyes, but Coach was a different story. Coach was all man. Tightly muscled, lightly furred, he had a swagger that carried him through the locker room, field or on the court. There was also this Basketball ref from the Range. Tall, handsome, nice five o'clock shadow and chest hair spilling above his white t-shirt. Then after one game I saw him head out of the coaches office, down towards the locker room and showers. He had about seven inches of soft dick hanging between his legs. Damn, he ruined me for a while. That long dick of his became the impossible mark. The local cop's strong cleft chin, and perpetual five o'clock shadow also left an impression. The town women would swoon at him in his all too tight uniform. I remember delivering the newspaper one Sunday morning when I opened the door to drop off the morning paper. He was standing there in the kitchen, naked, coffee cup in hand, showing me what filled out those uniform pants. He winked at me, he knew. Yep, I was into men, not boys. Most of all I remember the weekly trips to the Iron Range with my Dad. My oldest sister had gotten a job out of college at a hospital there. She wasn't in a position long enough to afford her own car, so Dad would travel up there on Friday, pick her up and bring her home. On Sunday, the process would repeat. I would be Dad's trusty sidekick for the two hour round trip. AM radio was still king. Nightfall was early these months, and changes in the ionosphere allowed me considerably more options for the road-trip soundtrack. I could opt for the local Top 40 Station WEBC, or hear the slightly more urban Top 40 of WLS in Chicago. Even later in the night I could listen to the underground sounds of Beaker Street transmitted from KAAY in Little Rock Arkansas. Through these stations I was transported beyond my small town. Dad and I would quickly catch up on the day, but most of the trip was silent, except for the music. The night sky was limitless. In the pure black of an atmosphere uncluttered by city light, the stars and planets shone. The darkness silhouetted a stand of pines here, a productive iron ore mine there. Every once in a while the Northern Lights would put on a show, dancing to the music on the AM dial. At fifteen I felt the struggle between significance and insignificance. The infinity of that night sky made the answer less apparent. Even with the aural limitations of AM radio, songs would cut through that night sky and introduce me to different musical scenes. The crisp guitar into to "Go All The Way" by The Raspberries represented the Power Pop of Cleveland. Their slightly glam look was how I thought gay men were supposed to look, but I was definitely into men, not them, whether or not they were gay. There were songs about the radio itself, and it's power. You could "Drift Away" to Dobie Gray's song, or Joni Mitchell's "You Turn Me On, I'm A Radio." Many drives I drifted away, and many drives the radio turned me on. Old School and New School clashed on the AM band as Elvis blasted into space with one last great single in "Burning Love." Meanwhile the young upstarts David and Elton took us on a "Space Oddity" with a "Rocket Man". My universe was expanded beyond the whiteness of my small town by War with "The World Is A Ghetto." In that ghetto the Temptations introduced me to a father that was very unlike mine, with "Papa Was A Rolling Stone." And more black voices clued me into love unrequited, immeasurable, and universal through Al Green's "I'm So Tired Of Being Alone" The Stylistics "I'm Stone In Love With You" and The O'Jays' "Love Train." Most of all I remember the Philly Soul Sound of "If You Don't Know Me By Now" by Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes. The strings would slice through the crisp night. The Blue Notes quietly set the mood with their harmonies. Teddy Pendergrass then spent the next 3 minutes testifying, alternating between pleading, and assignation. I was too young to understand it completely, never being in love, but I felt the emotion. Dad would let me listen to my station even though he didn't share my taste in music. We would be alone together in that car, each lost in our own thoughts. He worked for MnDOT, so we were driving the roads he was responsible for. Every once in a while he would reach over to touch me, put his hands on my knee, let me know he loved me. At those moments significance would win out. I was struggling that February night in 2000 with my own significance. February can be a bleak month in the Northland. After months of cold, snow and darkness the soul yearns for a break. Although they are just days on a calendar, we are lucky that February is only twenty-eight days long. In the cruelest irony, this was a leap year, I found myself lost on February 29th. I left work, but couldn't head home. I was trying to avoid the impossible, driving by his house. Something had happened in the last two weeks, something larger than the surface evidence would indicate. I lost Pete somehow, and I wasn't sure if I could get him back. I had tried getting him back, but the daily parcel on the porch was his reminder to me. He was slowly emptying out things that belonged to me. The computer I found there last night was possibly the biggest evidence that he thought we were over. So here I was, my car was full of gas, and I had nowhere to go. I thought of stopping at the diner, but taking a seat at the counter instead of my usual booth with Pete would crush me. I also thought of stopping at "the diner" but hollow sex just wasn't the ticket that night. I finally just decided to drive, see where I ended up. With the help of the oldies station I started along Skyline Parkway, heading north this time. The residential segment of the Parkway had a wide range of architecture to look at, including a few houses that were personal favorites. There was one house perched on the hill top, the virtual twin to Pete's chalet, I quickly looked away. Soon the Parkway entered a green space. I continued along, past Hawk's Ridge, through Seven Bridges Road and when my funk didn't leave me, I drove on. I knew that I could take Old Highway 61 up the north shore of Lake Superior, so I drove on. At 7:00 the oldies station started their 70's at 7 show. Suddenly I was transported back. I was beyond the haze of the city sky, and the darkness was enveloping. The half-moon reflected on the vastness of Lake Superior as I drove north. Each song on the radio reminded me of those drives with my Dad. Years added emotional heft to some of the songs, while others seemed naïve. Twenty-seven years had passed, and I still wondered about significance, insignificance. Each song tied me to my universe. Then about twenty miles north of Duluth, strings cut through the nighttime sky. The Blue Notes started their chorus, and Teddy began to plead. I found the nearest spot, pulled over, I had to, I was forced to. While it wasn't our story, every word hit home. I saw the fine line between tears and rage. "If You Don't Know Me By Now" finally revealed it's meaning to me, and I knew what had to be done. I pulled out my cell phone, no reception, damn. I backed out of my spot, headed south on Scenic 61 with a clear focus. Things that seemed cold and insignificant on the ride north, suddenly showed life. I noticed smoke curling out of a small lake cabin, a remnant of simpler times. Meanwhile a larger new house emitted an amber glow into the ionosphere. A laker was off to my left, heading into port. The songs kept on coming, their voices pushed me on. I got into town, took the Grand Avenue exit and drove through the workingman neighborhoods of a strong city. About five miles from Pete's I heard the opening of "Let It Be". It did "whisper words of wisdom" and gave me hope. Once again I was heading down our road, I pulled into our drive, parked by his truck, and even though I still had the key, I knocked on our door. Pete opened. "I'm not giving up on you this easy" I said as I hugged him in and finally let go of the tears. ********** Pete's story. ********** I don't remember when exactly I felt that I had lost Kyle. However the pain was there in the truth. I had lost him, due to both of us being too proud. At least that is what I kept telling myself. In my heart I blamed me, and me alone. He told me it was all a misunderstanding, I didn't believe him. I was too proud to believe him. It was so easy to go back to my old ways. I had lived over a quarter century without a relationship and I did fine in those years. I didn't need the complications of a man in my life. That was another thing I kept telling myself. Four months ago, I wouldn't even think of me being in love with a man, four months from now it wouldn't matter. So here I was, alone on a Tuesday night, the last February day I would have to suffer this year. I made a simple dinner, thought of turning on the TV, but had no motivation. I thought of playing a game of pool, but the table, his gift, only reminded me of him more. I decided that I could lose myself in some oldies, so I turned on the radio. The 70's at 7 show had just started. I thought of the Seventies as my favorite time, up until my wife left me. The music reminded me of those nights on our wrestling bus as we drove from town to town in our Midwest region. We had a converted Greyhound bus, the accommodations were minimal. Some of the guys would grab some shut eye, but I was never able to. I often found myself up near the front with the bus driver Jim. We would sit and talk about nothing much important. He often thanked me for keeping him awake, sometimes in treacherous driving conditions. He would play the radio softly. Loud enough to keep him awake, yet quietly enough, not to disturb those who were trying to sleep in the back. Most of the times it was background to our friendship. Songs became a part of my life by being there. During a lull in conversation a song might come to the forefront and connect with us. Jim and I didn't have much in common. He was a college student, not interested in wrestling, just there to earn extra income while at UMD. Somehow these pop songs became common ground for us. Every once in a while one would come on that both of us related to, and it would create the lull as we both stopped to listen. As I sat in front of the fireplace listening to the radio I realized that I was thinking about someone I hadn't seen in decades because of a song. What would happen months, years from now if I heard a song that reminded me of Kyle, someone I had loved. Then I heard the music of one of those songs. Every bit of it was like a knife in my heart. The lyrics hit me after the strings. It was one of those songs that I might have sung along to on a different night, but tonight the lyrics hit too close to home. "Just trust in me Like I trust in you As long as we've been together That should be so easy to do" Damn, I had fucked up. Everything we did was based on love and trust, and I doubted both, just long enough to screw up the only love I had really known. I didn't know what to do but I knew I had to do something. I picked up my cell phone to call his home phone, then his cell. No answer at either, fuck, was he avoiding me? That got to me, had I fucked it up completely? I couldn't sit there, I grabbed a jacket and got into my truck. I drove down to Kyle's, no vehicles there. I figured that Charlie and Fred were probably at a meeting with Gino. I thought maybe Kyle had joined Mike at the bar for burgers. I hi-tailed it over there, only to see Mikes truck, no sign of Kyle's car. I momentarily thought of going inside to confront Mike, but I realized I was fueled by jealousy, not the smartest way to win back my man. At least I was thinking of him as my man. I drove home as my pulse calmed down. It was almost back to normal by the time I pulled into our road. Then I heard the start of "Let It Be". I parked the truck, let it idle as I listened, I had no choice. As the last chords faded I turned off the truck and went inside. I sat by the fire, blacked out for a moment until I heard a loud knocking at the door. I opened, Kyle looked at me and said "I'm not giving up on you this easy" We then fell into an embrace, he started crying, I wasn't far behind. ********** Kyle's Story ********** I don't know when we stopped crying, and I don't know when they went from tired tears to tears of happiness caused by being in his arms. I do remember that when I started to speak, he stopped me. "Nothing to be said right now Babe. It is time for our actions to speak for themselves." He picked me up, it couldn't be easy, but he did. He carried me upstairs to our bedroom. Parts of me that felt dead for the last two weeks came alive. He placed me on the bed and started to undress me. Every step was deliberate and loving. He then took off his clothes, his eyes locked on mine. I felt his desire. He too wanted to lose the pain we both had experienced. I laid back, I was ready for anything this man wanted. He climbed onto the bed, straddled me, his dick pressed against my stomach, and my own dick as Pete lowered his face to mine. "I should have never doubted our love Kyle" he whispered then he kissed me. The kiss said more than words ever could. ********** Pete's Story ********** I never needed anything, anyone more, than I needed Kyle at that moment. The words of my apology were short, but I proved them with my kisses. Words can be hollow without truth to back them up. I wanted no doubt in Kyle's mind that I was sorry for what I put him through. We continued to kiss, to caress, to roll around on the comforter, sharing that love. He was my equal in that love, that moment. Hell he was my equal in everything. I remembered his promise months ago to give as good as he got. Kyle always did that. I guess we both pushed each other to be better, we were doing it again right then. I felt the man that was my equal, I held him, I kissed him, he gave in kind. I wanted nothing more than to enter him, to give him my love. But as his equal I had different plans suddenly. ********** Kyle's Story ********** Pete got between my legs, looked me in my eyes. I felt the hunger and love in them, so I bent my knees in anticipation of what was to come. Instead he slowly crawled up between my legs, straddled my chest and dropped the hooded head of his dick in my mouth. He did this in one movement, never losing sight of my eyes. I looked up at my man with love as he fed me his foreskin. I found the taste that I had missed the last few weeks. He smiled at me, letting me know that he enjoyed being back where he belonged. I was enjoying it too, tasting that meaty flesh, knowing the man who offered it to me. I was certain I was there to add spit to his thickness, to ease entrance as he started to make love to me. I was assured of it when he started to gather spit on his fingers. Then he surprised me, he used that hand to reach behind and apply the spit to my dick. Then in one quick move Pete backed himself onto my dick. "Make love to me Kyle. Let's make up for those days where I was an idiot." I couldn't pass up Pete's offer. I started to push up into him as his ass hovered above me. It had been a while since I had fucked him, but he was taking it. I felt him alternate opening and closing his ass as I entered him. I raised up on my elbows, he bent down, our mouths met once again. My knees were bent, I used them as leverage to thrust into his hot ass. I pulled him into my arms, my dick still thrusting into his butt, I am not sure how he did it. He stopped our kisses for a few seconds to hiss out "Gawd I needed this." I leaned forward to continue the kisses then said "So did I". We continued for a few minutes, but I could tell we were both getting uncomfortable. I wanted this moment of love to last before I came. I wanted to feed Pete with every bit of my love. So I motioned for him to pull off, and he got on his side presenting that hot ass to me. I got on my side, leaned over his back for a moment, looked into his eyes as my dick entered his ass. "This is for the man I love, and the man I will always love" With that I started to grind his butt again. Even though I wanted it to last, it didn't take long for me lose it. I started to shoot into Pete's butt. He could feel it and responded with a grin and a throaty "Yeah." Instead of the usual three to five squirts, I kept on. My orgasm became more intense as I unloaded in him. For a minute I thought I was actually beyond coming, it felt like I was pissing in his butt. The warmth and wetness just kept coming. I pulled my cock out for a bit, steadied it, and when I was sure I was okay, I slammed it back home. ********** Pete's Story ********** I wanted to be fucked, I just didn't plan on it being this intense. Maybe it was the lost time being made up, but Kyle fucked me like never before, and when he came he reached new levels. I felt each rush of cum at first, but he seemingly didn't stop cumming. When Kyle pulled out I felt empty for a second, I was ready to cuddle, but he slammed back in. So this is what sloppy seconds feels like. Kyle was like an unleashed animal. At least he was if that animal had a sense of humor. He started to chuckle, I wasn't sure why. I was having fun too. "I think I just filled your butt with two weeks worth of cum Pete" he chuckled. "I hope it was worth the wait. I know it was for me." He twisted his body and mine, went in for a kiss while still grinding on my ass. "Still hard this long after cumming, all because of you babe. He was slowly screwing me, the urgency gone, but the passion still there. "I never plan to be away from you this long again, but I really like how we are making up." My ass was receptive to his love. I loved the connection we had. I got into a simple soothing rhythm of opening and closing my butt. His cock was slick from the cum he had shot earlier so he was sliding around easily, enjoying the heat of my ass. I wanted another dose of his spunk. "Fill me again Kyle, I need my mans cum. I have missed it too long" ********** Kyle's Story ********** Who was I to deny my man's wishes? Pete really made it easy for me. He clenched his ass one more time, creating this excruciating friction on my dick. With both hands I grabbed onto his hairy pecs, and dumped whatever I had left into his ass. Pete responded by gripping my dick with his talented sphincter once again. First one spasm, then four, then three. I smiled, knowing the meaning. I tapped out the same message on his pecs. ********** Pete's Story ********** I felt the tapping on my chest. My heart slowed down to match the tempo. Kyle's dick was still lodged in my butt, I feared what would happen if he pulled out. I reached back to pull him closer. I felt his heartbeat slow down as our breathing returned to normal. It was still early in the night, but I welcomed our trip to dreamland. ********** Kyle's Story ********** The Northern Lights were exceptionally active that night, Green auras changed to blue, then just as quickly to purple, Each color reflected in the blue vinyl dashboard of my Dad's 1973 Dodge. The dance of these spectral wonders matched the pulsing keyboard music that emanated from the car's tinny speakers. Suddenly the oooohs and ahhhs of The Three Degrees filled the interior of our car on that chilly February night. I started to hum along, my dad tapped out the rhythm on his arm rest. We didn't have that many songs in common, but this slice of Philly Soul always brought a smile to his face. The Northern lights went into overdrive, matching the pulsing beat of "When Will I See You Again". For three minutes the entire sky was lit with a shimmering cascade of color. "It's amazing isn't it Kyle? What we take for granted most people will never see. The Aurora Borealis, the timber wolf, a snowy owl in some Jack Pines, a bald eagle fishing. Don't ever lose sight of what is in your back yard as you go after your dream." I looked over at my dad, he winked, patted my knee. "You've grown into quite the fine man Kyle. This is just the beginning young man, it isn't the end" Then suddenly a deer darted out in front of our car. Dad stomped on the brakes causing a calendar to fly off the dash into my lap. I saw that the month of March was filled with green numbers. I quickly put the calendar back on the dash, glanced at the passenger side mirror and saw the 43 year old me staring back. "See, this isn't the end" Dad said, tapping out 1-4-3 as he did so. ********** Pete's Story ********** Something had compelled me to watch my man doze off. We slowly untangled and sleep caught up with him. I had been foolish in losing him, I was going to relish having him back in my life. There was a sliver of moonlight bathing him as he started to dream. A smile crept across his face so I knew it was a good dream. From the living room I heard the faint sound of the radio. I remembered those strings, those oooohs, those ahhhs. I embraced Kyle like I hadn't in weeks while I strained to hear the music. As the music swelled I drummed my fingers gently on his chest to the beat of the rhythm. I remembered all of the lyrics and I hummed along softly as Kyle's smile broadened. I hugged him tighter, tapped our secret code, 1-4-3, then whispered in his ear "This isn't the end Kyle, far from it."