Bonerboard

The only way to reverse this decision is to sacrifice a virgin to the island gods. Sorry, @bakersman94, you don't qualify -- not by a long long long long long long long shot!! 😂

I'm with you

Either way, we can safely assume Wes is not a suitable sacrifice to appease the island gods. Then again if we dress him up in a white nightshift and adorn him with garlands, we might deceive them. After all, the great (and macho) god Thor himself dressed up as a bride once to fool a horny giant.

Temperature is not a deal-breaker for me. Cold salty liquids can be quite tasty. I love margaritas. A shape-shifting penis doesn't put me off either. Why, my own can change from a gumdrop to a slightly larger gumdrop in a matter of minutes. Take that, Beelzebub!

My, My...haven`t you been busy...looking great..!!!

Satan has ice-cold semen -- who knew? His balls must hang down to his ankles, given the environment in which he operates is renowned for its excessive heat and humidity. How does he keep his testicles so cool? However, I think your illustration needs to be updated. It's my understanding that a key element of Lucifer's job description involves taunting, tormenting and frustrating people -- in which case his penis should be as small as a Vienna sausage and as soft as a soggy sponge. If he is truly as hard and hung as your picture indicates then I demand a sexorcism!

We must test your assertion first. Please strip to your undergarments and allow us to tie you up and throw you into the river. If you sink, you're telling the truth -- but I strongly suspect that you will float. Apologies in advance if you inadvertently drown during this crucial experiment, but we can't sacrifice just anybody to the island gods. You understand.

Hayden Monteleone

surely (don`t call me Shirley, oh wait you said surely, nevermind)

That looks like Jan Michael Vincent on the left. What an adorable studmuffin he was, at least by the standards back in his youth. He just died last week, after many years of struggling with alcohol and drug abuse, which eventually ruined his professional career. He was in his early 70s. SPOILER ALERT: “Buster and Billie” (1974) had one of those gut-wrenchingly tragic endings that just ruins your day (or night), but I think it was the first mainstream Hollywood movie to show both male and female full-frontal nudity, however briefly. And by “briefly," I mean think of the scene in “Brokeback Mountain” when Ennis and Jack take the running leap off the cliff into the lake below. That brief. Coincidentally, in the nude scene in “Buster and Billie,” they were running into the swimmin’ hole. Actually, it’s amazing he went on to have a modestly successfully long run on TV after such a scandalous past. R.I.P., Jan Michael.

Now we know why it's called the merry, merry month of May!

Sorry to disappoint you, but dunking is a test for witches (the infamous "ordeal by water", a rather popular communal entertainment in the 16th-17th century) - so if Wes floats, that is because he is in cahoots with the Prince of Darkness. Or a Dark Prince? Hmm ... that would also mean he is not a virgin, as the sabbath where you pledge your soul to the Devil also involves getting penetrated by Satan's big and hard member and drinking his ice-cold semen.

I've never been to a food bank. I went to a sperm bank once but left when I found out I could only make deposits, not withdrawals. False advertising, I say! When is the last time you tried to pass a silent-but-deadly but ended up accidentally releasing an audible fart in public?

OK... Steve Lyon in Campus Man Gilles Marini in Sex And The City Warren Beaty in Bonnie And Clyde Paul Newman in anything in the late 50's onward William Katt in Big Wednesday And I guess Christoper Atkins since he as experience...

is there a set limit as to how many times a day one should whack off, or is it just once everyday during May? the article in the Huffington Post wasn't too specific!!

Wyatt Engeman

i never got what the attract ever was with Richard Gere, either!! he seemed rather plain to me!! i guess i`m nominating Richard Gere to be ousted!!

Paddy O'Brian Ravages Diego Lauzen