Bonerboard

Coming out is quite an endeavor, Conquering fear is the secret lever, Putting lies on the shelf to become one's true self, To get to living "happily ever after". It's important for your partner to see, That living a lie is not the way to be, The message he sent, his life an embarrassment, Only truth will turn "I" to "we". Until he understands what marriage about, It's not the family's life, but yours to tout, Your partner by your side, your love displayed with pride, Please use caution until he figures this out. Until then, I wish you the best, I hope your partner eventually passes the test, Telling family what is true, that he sincerely loves you, And that they can deal with the rest! LP

I don't understand how he thinks he's mature enough to proclaim his love for you before God with a marriage proposal, but is too immature to proclaim his sexuality and subsequently his love for you to his family. I'm almost 56, African American and openly gay. I came out at 19 to my family while in the US Navy. Back then there was much less understanding everywhere. I was part of the march for change along with so many.thousands of others, many of whom didn't survive the AIDS pandemic, just so we had rights. If he was estranged from his parents, or had very little communication with them, I would understand. That's not the case. He is telling bold face lies. Your closeted gay boyfriend is actively using deception by introducing his female friend to his parents as his girlfriend to promote a facade of being straight. Not in 1920, but in 2020... When you are alone at home. Turn off your phone, TV and radio. Go into the bathroom, shut the door, look in the mirror and ask yourself these questions: What do his ACTIONS that say about his character as a person? What does his DEMAND that I never challenge him on his deception say about the VALUE he places on my FEELINGS and DIGNITY? What do I believe is my SELF WORTH within the context of this relationship? What are my personal STANDARDS? *I believe that when you wrote and asked for advice, deep inside you already knew what your answer should be to his marriage proposal. You just needed confirmation and support....and you've got it.

Just my perspective is this. I agree with @wolfe about giving him a hint about what was going to happen. That is rather jacked up as it not his place. I am looking at this as a trust being honest thing. If said male can't or refuses to open up to family about it, who is to say he may keep stuff from him. I believe that would be the foundation of this relationship. Sound like he needs a pair of kid gloves. Use caution & be ready for the unexpected. He needs to look out for himself. With me, I remember when I mentioned to my parents (bless them) & my 2 brothers when I told them I was bi & that I have an attraction to other females. I basically came out & told them without a care of their reply or input about it.

He's not ready if he can't even be willing to be out to his family.Obviously he won't be willing to acknowledge you as his mate. Second the friend warning you is a schmuck for spoiling someone else's intentions.That was not his place.

You cannot build a relationship, much less a marriage, when a huge chunk of the foundation is built on deception. Also, have you considered the possibility that the friend who told you he was planning to propose was having you on? What if he did buy a ring and plan a proposal? How can you--given his reluctance to be totally out--be sure it wasn't intended for the girlfriend his parents have met?

Can you identify each of these models for Tuesday? Thanks.

Truth, Trust, Friendship, Love, and Respect are together the basement of a relation, a marriage. Well, everything's already been said above.

i`m not sure if i`m the right one to be replying to this problem, but here goes. if i was that concerned with the boyfriend not having come out, i`d tell him to start small, by coming out to his parents or to some friends. taking it one step at a time would be the best solution. with love from Wes!! Hugs!!!

i just liked the colors and patterns. if i went by how well they fit you, i would have chosen them all!!