Superficial?

[Clippy]

Lately I've been looking at some porn (go figure) and I've been coming to realize the superficiality of pornagraphy.

 

Now before you start any sarcasm, just take a moment to realize that I mean to sy that it makes the viewer superficial. Have you ever found yourself looking through the preview of a site before using the pass even to see if it's worth it? Sometimes I say 'not using' because the guys of the site are too much this, or too little that, for one reason or another.

 

I mean I was watching some vids from ASG, Amateur Straight Guys, the other day and it hit me, I mean really hit me how superficial porn was making me. My revelation came when I was looking at a particular vid and one of the owners of ASG, Jay I think the name is, likes to touch the guys and like nuzzle their necks and crap like that. I found MYSELF getting nervous for the guys doing the shoot because the guy's really unnattractive. I mean there's this really hot guy named Ben on the site....and one time Jay pushes Ben to get fucked. So Jay fucks Ben, but while doing so he's rubbing his sweaty beer belly, and his nipples that are on bean-cups. I got so disgusted I could barely finish the video - And I'm into guys!

 

I know this makes me sound kinda horrible - but does anyone else find themselves scrutinizing the guys on websites to their tastes? I find it's because with pornagraphy, it's all about what appeals to you, what is your flavor. There are so many tastes of porn that you can pick and choose what you want to watch and what you can afford to throw away. Meaning, that anything that doesn't fit your preconcieved notions of sexy we completely disregard as unnattracive.

 

No matter what, when any of the owners of ASG attempt to put themselves into the video it makes it extremely less enjoyable for me - because of their looks and age, BUT I'm realizing that having an affinity for porn and how it makes you view things superficially, can have an effect on current, and potential, relationships. I wonder how can one remedy this? Just try to be open-minded? or lessen down on the porn? Any ideas?

 

(sorry for long post)

[Guest Dinosawrz]

I don't see how that is superficial. It just seems like you have certain tastes and you didn't like the site becuase it didn't meet those taste. Would you rather porn be about personality instead of sex?

 

This is kind of ridiculous. Just because you have a certain taste, it doesn't mean that you're superficial. THat's just the taste that appeals to you most. It's also ridiculous that you're blaming porn for your tastes.

[Chris1547624861]

I disagree, I don't think it's ridiculous. It's an interesting topic and I think porn is superficial. It is the very definition in fact, to be concerned only with the surface and the appearance of somebody and nothing more.

 

However I think as long as you recognise what it is and admit that it's all superficial, it doesn't have to transcend into real life, and real relationships. You may love your bf for his intelligence, or his charm, it would be difficult to replicate this and develop a lust for this in a porn video.

 

For those seeking a quick buzz, porn has its place, but I think that emotionally human beings require a lot more.

[Guest Mystic Red]

Pornography in and of itself is superficial, but as far as making people superficial in real life, I'm not quite sure that's a general rule, though it certainly does happen a lot.

 

In your example, I think you simply have your own tastes, and seeing the owners in the videos turned you off. While that's technically superficial, it's only in the context of it being porn. Porn is just fantasy; you've got every right to be 100% superficial since it's only about fantasy and getting off. It should have no effect on how you view potential relationships.

 

Like Chris said, as long as people can recognize the difference between fantasy and reality there should be no problem. However, when people can't do that, their standards become so high that they'll probably never find that special someone, or even a one-night stand.

 

If you feel the latter is happening to you, Clippy, besides cutting down on porn (not an option! :P ), there's nothing much you can do. Forming relationships has as much to do with non-physical traits as physical ones.

 

For the most part the guys we watch in porn don't exhibit much personality, so all we can do is lust. In the real world, like Chris said, you can fall in love with a man's charm and intelligence in addition to (or despite) his appearance. Relationships require an extra dimension you can never get with porn. Also, it's normally not as conscious as being more open-minded; you just fall in love. So for now, just sit back, relax, and... do whatever. :wacko:

 

Haha, my post might be longer than yours , so I should apologize, too. :lol:

[Clippy]

Thanks for the replies guys. This is what I was actually hoping to encourage - some discussion on a topic. Albeit some may think that it's a ridiculous topic, I highly doubt it is.

 

As Chris mentioned porn is superficial and unless someone is unable to differentiate between real/fantasy life then they'll never be happy. That right there is a great arguement in and of itself.

 

However Dino, I wonder why you thought this post was ridiculous? Having certain tastes doesn't make anyone superficial, it just makes us like every other biased human being out there. However it is when you fail to see past your tastes, and then begin to subjugate those around you to those tastes without looking into people's interiors and only viewing the exterior that you become superficial.

 

For instance: If it were a fact that I was rich and goodlooking and that I like to have rich and goodlooking friends would not make me superficial. That's simply a bias that I have. It's when I begin to limit my circle of friends *only* to people who meet my certain aesthetic qualities. And in fact Dino, I would like a bit more personality in my porn. I love it when the sites do profiles on guys and ask them questions - rather then just throw them up on a site. My whole point in creating this thread was to help inspire discussion about the superficiality of porn - and whether or not constantly viewing pornagraphy could haver overspill affects by making us judge people based on their exterior aesthetic quality and not what's on the inside.

 

As for myself Mystic I try to remind myself that I am not perfect, and as such if someone else is willing to accept my faults, I too should atleast be willing to return the favor. In any event, great reply, you just won yourself some pts.

 

Erm...is the transfer feature broken? I tried to transfer some pts, but nothing's seemed to happened :S

[Guest Dinosawrz]

Yeah, but you need to skim through the surface before you dive deep.

[Clippy]

Well that's what superficiality is lacking. The diving part.

[Guest bizuk]

I agree that porn is superficial, and that's really designed to be. It's not about emotion and people don't really need it to be.

 

As far as your example about how you felt it might be making you superficial - I don't know that I'd call what you were thinking shallowness. If you said, "Well, I can't be friends with anyone who looks like that", yeah, probably.

 

Someone could sit me down and say, "Here, read this book" and I might try a few pages and say "No, this book sucked." I wouldn't turn around and say that people who liked the book were assholes, or that people who wrote in that style were losers, but I would just choose to pick up another book. Why should porn be any different?

 

I think it's more than just porn that's promoting superficiality in peoples' lives, because that stylized idea of beauty is saturating media almost entirely. Magazines (yes, everything from Cosmo to Playboy to AXM), movies and tv shows. And there are a lot of people who are ugly inside for whom striving for that physical perfection is a thing of beauty in and of itself.

 

But when you talk about "looking at peoples' interiors" and whatnot - I can see where you're coming from in terms of wanting to know the guys a bit better. But how often are you looking at two guys fucking on a site and thinking, "Yeah, they have a loving relationship and that's beautiful"? Porn just isn't designed that way.