Jack Pine Savages

[JoelR]

Date: Sat, 27 Jun 2015 13:52:56 -0500
From: Bix Meister <[email protected]>
Subject: Jack Pine Savages Part 1

A Year In The Life

Jack Pine Savages Part 1

By Bix Meister

This is a story featuring gay men, and gay sex, intended for Adults, not
Minors.  It is fiction, and as such is not based on any actual people or
events.  It is a fantasy intended purely as a catalyst for pleasure.  No
attempts have been made to portray safe sex, but the author encourages you
to practice it.

If this is your first trip to my series, I suggest you start at the
beginning, Snowplow.  You will get to know the characters more.

If you have suggestions or feedback, contact me at [email protected]

============================================================================

The Jack Pine, or Pinus Banksiana, is a North American Pine native to the
northern woods of Minnesota.  They are extremely plentiful between Duluth
and my Northern Minnesota hometown. Taking Highway 2 west from Duluth, you
can see entire swathes of Jack Pines.  They are not as strong and majestic
looking as the White Pine or Red Pine, Jack Pines are scrappy. Their
strength lies in their ability to grow where others can't and regenerate
after a fire.  In fact it is fire, or intense heat that allows the pine
cones of the Jack Pine to release their seed.

Late February, 2000, I realized I was a Jack Pine, living among White
Pines.

It was a few days after Valentines day that I finally decided it was time
to meet with Mike and negotiate a pay raise for Fred. His leadership on my
home should be rewarded, and I wanted to see it happen. I called him from
my cell phone and asked to meet at the diner, a neutral place.  He
suggested that we meet at Pete's house so he could see the end result of
the pool table installation.

I was hesitant at first, knowing what Pete felt about my interaction with
Mike.  However I thought it was time to bridge that gap, and bring Mike
back into our fold.  Plus he held the key to Fred being compensated for
what he was bringing to the table.  Yes I could simply pay the difference
myself, give Fred a bonus, but what would happen when my project was done?
Fred had quickly become an asset to Mike, one that should be rewarded down
the line.

I had to step up for a friend, do something that Pete would admire, but I
still felt the need to go around Pete's back.  I had told my office that I
would be in late, so I walked through the farmhouse remodel with Pete and
Fred, then made the short drive to what had become my new home.  I let
myself in and did a quick check of the place.  We had been too busy the
last few days to put up the sling, so I didn't have to worry about that.  I
took some cleaning spray and buffed out the smudge that Pete had noticed on
the light fixture.

I wanted to show the gift off to Mike.  I think I wanted him to know how
much Pete meant to me, and this was a very concrete expression of that
love.  Mike parked his work van, then knocked on the door.  He was a bit
sheepish which was always a hot look for him.  I let Mike in, shook his
hand, then showed him downstairs.

He was duly impressed by the pool table. "Looks like it's always been here,
it's perfect.  But I know that isn't the reason you invited me over."

I motioned towards the chair in the corner, he sat, I grabbed a seat on the
sectional. "You are right, I wanted to talk to you because I think Fred is
doing a great job at my house, and he should be compensated for all of the
extra things he is doing."  I shared all of my reasons for the promotion,
and Mike listened. He would question me about details, but overall he paid
attention to what I was saying, without interjecting.

"So what is the bottom line?  What do you think this raise should be worth?
Five hundred bucks a month?"

"Double it, and we're talking." I took a hard-line stance with Mike, hoping
it would pay off.

"Tell you what, you beat me in a game of pool, and we're on."

"You know we both suck at pool and I don`t want to do any damage to Pete`s
new table, we'll have to figure out another wager."

Mike motioned to the workout room across the way. "Why don't we wrestle.
If I pin you, he gets a five hundred dollar raise.  If you win, it's a
thousand.  Either way Fred wins in the end. But I got a client meeting in
an hour, can't get this shirt all sweaty."

Mike was so naïve he didn't realize that what he said sounded like a set
up from some low budget gay porn shoot.  I knew, but played along.  I had
the extra incentive to beat Mike, and earn Fred the raise he deserved.  If
I lost, I got to roll around on the mat, with a half naked Mike, and Fred
would still get a raise.

I got up and approached Mike, holding out my hand "Deal?" I said.

"Deal" he said shaking my hand.  He got up and undid his shirt, throwing it
on the chair.  I started to unbutton mine as we went into the workout room.
I threw my shirt on the weight bench then faced Mike.  Fuck, had I been
stupid when I suggested this form of salary negotiation?  He was as
imposing as always standing there wearing pants and work boots.

We started to circle each other. "Okay, lets get this straight. I win, he
gets 500, if you win, 1k, a draw we cut it down the middle."  Mike added
another level to our contest.

Talk about a win, win, win situation.  If I was able to just hold out long
enough, my friend Fred would get an nine thousand dollar raise over the
course of the year.  This was more incentive to help my buddy, and I think
that incentive gave me an unfair advantage.

I lunged at Mike, took him down.  At times I still thought of myself as
that geeky 15 year old, and here I was, knocking a hefty slab of beef down
to the ground .  He struggled away from me and we both got back to our
feet.

"Whoa, where'd that come from buddy?  Pete giving you private lessons?"

He looked more intense as we were facing off.  I conjured up the energy I
used when I took down Rodney on New Years Eve, and I tackled Mike.  He
slipped free quickly, then jumped me while I was down on the mat.  We spent
the next minute grappling, trying to get control of the match.  I had the
upper hand and I was almost counting on a draw when Mike flipped me onto my
back and raised my right leg to get leverage.

We were face to face, his crotch to my ass as he muscled me into this new
position.  Both of us were breathing heavily from the workout we were
getting, a drop of sweat fell from his brow onto my face.

Then I felt it. Mike had a hard-on. He saw the shock on my face, he
responded with a smile. "I got you now" he said then out of nowhere he
kissed me.

Hell, Mike had kissed me before, that night in the bar, but this wasn't a
brotherly kiss, this was tongue down my throat, hands everywhere, rolling
on the wrestling mat, kissing. I kissed back, grabbing a hold of his dick
through his canvas pants.

We wrestled like this for a few minutes then Mike stopped. "Shit, what have
I done?"

"Yes, what the hell have you done? Is this what my lover and my friend do
to me? Fuck around behind my back? Pete's voice boomed from the doorway of
the workout room.

We got up off the mat quickly, speechless for a second.  Mike was the first
to find his voice. "It's not what you think, we were just wrestling and I
got carried away.  It's not Kyle's fault, he was just doing a favor for a
friend."

"I saw enough to know what to think.  What was that favor, give you a hand
job, maybe blow ya?  Hell he'd probably have his ass on that pool table for
you about now if I hadn't walked in.  And here we had a pact, I thought I
loved him, but he's just a slut looking for the next piece of meat.  Is
that why Derek was so worked up the other day?  God, why do I even concern
myself with you?"

Pete lowered his head and shook it, he muttered "Slut" again under his
breath.  It cut me to the core.

Then stupidly I said "Well what about you and Justin?  You've probably been
fucking him on the sly.  That's why he keeps sending his "Daddy" emails.
Does "Daddy" spank his son's ass before he fucks it?"  I was worked up,
even used air quotes for the word "Daddy".

"What are you doing reading my private emails?  So I can add untrustworthy
in addition to Slut? For your information I wasn't doing a damn thing with
Justin, I kept on brushing him off for you.  What a waste of my time."

Meanwhile Mike made a gesture towards the door.  "I suppose I had better
leave" he said.

"Yes you should, and don't let the door hit you on the way out.  What the
hell kind of friend are you anyway?"  Pete looked at me.  "You too,
leave. I don't want to see you here again.  I'll start boxing your stuff
up, while you go look for another electrician.  And when I am done, you
might have to look for another plumber and carpenter."

Pete put his head in his hands then turned away from me.  For a second I
thought I heard sobbing, then a weak voice said "You have a minute, by the
time I turn, you had better be gone."

I didn't take a minute, I barely buttoned my shirt when I threw on my
jacket.  I was out the door as I saw Mike's work van head towards town..
In that moment I didn't really know where to go, what to do.  Due to a
momentary lapse in judgment, I just screwed up the thing that meant the
most to me, my relationship, and love for Pete.

I drove the short distance to the farmhouse, left the car running then
slumped against the steering wheel and began to cry. I started to see
everything that had happened to me over the last few months, and realized
they were all going to be sad memories.

From the warmth and safety of my car I called the office and said I would
need a personal day.  Jean knew from my voice that it wasn't for a good
reason, she also knew better than to ask.  I finally killed the engine,
then girded myself to what I was going to face inside.

I walked in, my head down trying to hide my red eyes. Fred hit me rapid
fire with a barrage of questions. "Where's Pete, did he find the pipe
wrench, why aren't you at the office, I thought that's where you were
going?"

I looked up.  From the response I knew he saw the tears. "Pete and I are
done. I fucked up.  If you need me, I'll be up in my room." Fred opened his
mouth, started to speak.  I held out my hand to stop him.  "Nothing to be
said, nothing I can do.  Just give me my time. Then maybe we can talk."

I went upstairs, removed my coat, and pulled the covers over my body.  I
was emotionally drained, so I fell asleep quickly.  I barely heard the door
open an hour or so later.  I was aware of Fred stripping down to his
shorts, then climbing into bed with me. "This is payback for all the times
you were there for me" he said, then hugged me tenderly.

I don't think I saw daylight the rest of the day.  Fred got up
mid-afternoon, replaced the covers then went downstairs.  I was vaguely
aware that the guys were giving me space, their voices were hushed.

About six or so there was a tap at my door. "Ready to face the world?"  It
was Charlie.  I let him in, he sat on the bed. "So what the hell happened?
Fred said you and Pete broke up."

"I fucked up Charlie, I was trying to help a friend and suddenly I was
thinking with my dick."  I didn't want to tell him everything, so I changed
the subject.  "Will you guys let me stay here while I figure things out?"

I finally cracked a smile at that, asking to live in my own home. "Like we
could kick you out?" Charlie said.  "Hey, we're about to eat, why don't you
join us."

I got up, out of bed, and was greeted by Charlie's open arms.  I quickly
fell into his embrace.  He kissed my cheek, whispered in my ear. "You'll
figure this out, be back in his arms before you know it"

"I'm not so sure about that Charlie, when I fuck up, I fuck up big time,
and I doubt I would have me back if I was Pete."

I followed Charlie downstairs. "Look who I raised from the dead" Charlie
said.  "I hope you made enough pasta for four Angelo."

"Who are you kidding, you know he always cooks for an Army" Fred said. "Too
bad he doesn't have a few army buddies by for me, I wouldn't mind playing
Don't Ask Don't Tell with a bulky drill sergeant."

We all laughed at Fred's joke.  It was great to smile after what I had been
through.  I think the guys had learned not to talk about what happened, so
we talked about everything but. Sharing food had always been important to
us, and that pasta dinner gave me the energy to make it through the rest of
the day.

Nothing helped me that night.  My dreams were frenetic, disjointed. I
remember snippets that were erotic, then others that bared my soul.  I
would wake up in effort to kill a dream, then when I fell asleep it would
come back stronger.

I finally slowed my breathing enough in an effort to control my dreams.  I
was alone downstairs looking over the plans for the remodel.  We had to
change the timeline due to our new electrician. Derek came downstairs,
stepped behind me and started to look at the plans over my shoulder.

Suddenly I felt his hefty dick against my ass. "These are the plans we
should be talking about.  The plans to bury this dick in that ass of
yours..."

"Even Derek?!"  Pete's voice startled me from my sleep. I looked at the
darkness of my room, half expecting Pete to be there.  I laid there
silently for a moment, then realized what I needed.

I went to Fred's room, silently let myself in.  We were both naked, but I
knew I was safe with him. I got under the covers and backed up to Fred,
pulling his arm around me.  He woke enough to say "Anytime you need me bud,
anytime" then fell asleep.  A half an hour later, I joined him.


I don't remember much of the next few days.  My friends and coworkers
guarded me during the day to day grind.  The gang at my office took
control, I barely needed to show up for work, but I did anyway out of
habit.  Fred slowed down the remodel schedule while he looked for an
electrician he trusted.  On Friday he shared his news. Mike had called him
earlier that day offering a raise of $750 per month. Mike considered that
we wrestled to a draw.  I guess I would have to agree since we both lost.

By Friday afternoon I needed centering.  Charlie and Angelo left early for
their trip to Vegas, it was just going to be Fred and I.  I watched the
nightly news and saw the forecast for the weekend, clear but cold. The lows
for the early morning hours were to be in the minus twenty degree territory
An Alberta Clipper was flowing down from Canada, ready for a week long
residency.  Throughout the broadcast area there were temperatures ranging
from the minus teens to minus thirty on the Range. The minus fifteen that
hovered over my hometown made it seem almost tropical.

"Wanna join me on a road trip tomorrow Fred? I need to go see my dad."

"Your dad? I thought he was dead"

"He is, but his spirit is there, just the right thing to see me through."

Fred said "Sure, I'd love to see your hometown.  Been here most of my life,
might as well branch out a bit."

I made no pretense about sleeping alone that night, and we made no pretense
about being chaste as we held each other.  What Fred and I developed over
the last few months was a deep love for each other and though his hard-on
might have caressed my bare flesh, it was not sexual.  The loving arms
holding me meant that my dreams that Friday night were safe. I do remember
introducing Fred to my dad.  As we left Fred asked "What does it feel
like?"  I awoke not knowing what that question meant.

The quiet of the farmhouse that Saturday morning was only slightly
disrupted by the sound of the coffee maker, and the shuffling of Fred's
slipper clad feet. I looked over my shoulder as he entered the kitchen.
"Thanks" was all I could say as I poured two travel mugs.

"For what?" Fred said, taking his mug from me.

"For being there, for doing this." I poured the rest of the coffee into a
thermos. "I'm sure you have something better to do on Saturday.  You don't
have to go, why don't you take a trip to the sauna?"

"I want to be with my friend, see his hometown. I will have plenty of time
to go to the sauna later."

I warmed up the car while Fred got dressed.  There was no agenda, just
drive home, see the town, visit the cemetery, maybe grab a bite to eat.
Fred joined me in the front seat, throwing a backpack into the back. We got
on the road about 8:00. I stopped at a gas station and picked up a few Twig
Bakery donuts.  We drove silently, listening to the oldies station.

We were just short of an hour out when we drove through Floodwood.  Like my
hometown, it's just a blip on the map. "Hey, isn't this where Charlie's
from?" Fred asked.

That question was all it took to get the conversation going.  I told him of
our old rivalry with Floodwood. I remember their school, their gymnasium. I
always remember it as being rundown. "You know Fred, when I was young I
thought people from Floodwood were poor. There were a lot of loggers, and
men who made the trip to work the mines. It was just a quick judgment I
made as a young kid, but I never get that impression from the people I know
now, who grew up there."

"Maybe it's because they were the ones who got out" Fred pointed out.

I mulled it over for a bit, and saw his point. We were about six miles out
of town when we saw a whole stand of Jack Pines.  They had a rust hue to
them which I pointed out to Fred. I told him what I knew about the Jack
Pines. How and where they grow. What they're used for.  What animals like
their habitat. But the thing that always impressed me was their resiliency.

"See that rust?  Sooner or later that is going to take over, leaving these
trees to die.  There will either be a fire, or the loss of needles will
mean that sunlight will finally reach the pine cones.  The heat of the fire
or the warmth of the sun will release the seeds from the cones, and a new
generation of trees will start growing."

"My Uncle Hal used to call he and my dad "The Jack Pine Savages."  They
knew this area forwards and backwards. Growing up here during the Great
Depression was tough, but they grew tougher because of it. They lived off
the land growing up, not easy to do around here, and they hunted for food,
not sport."

"They both enlisted for World War II like many of their friends.  Luckily
they came back alive possibly because of the skills they learned in the
Jack Pines. My dad had opportunities after the war, but he decided to head
home.  I'm glad he did because that is where he met mom, they had me, and
now I have a great friend like you."

"What does it feel like?" Fred asked.  I almost hit the brakes at that
question.  It was straight out of my dream from last night.

"What does what feel like?" I countered.

"To have a father that you can look up to?"

I drove in silence, not sure how to answer it.  My little bit of nostalgia
had taken up a good portion of our trip and we were minutes from my
hometown.  I pointed out the changes in habitat, trees, and elevation. I
started to see the houses where friends lived.  I felt a sudden sorrow not
knowing who lived here now, and even more sorrow when I saw the evidence
that some of these childhood homes were abandoned.

It was just before ten when we saw the lake, my hometown perched on the
hill on the other side. I saw the city limits sign and chuckled at what was
written at the bottom of it.  Pop. 469.  I had worked in buildings that had
twice that in employees.  Then there was also that number, 4-69.  It was a
number I could get behind.

"So this is it?  This would just be a neighborhood in Duluth." Fred was
spot on.  We took a right and drove up the hill to the downtown, or what
was left of it. There were a few cars, but no one I recognized.

I took a right and drove a few blocks then stopped the car, pointing to a
small two story house. "Can you believe that 6 kids and parents lived in
that house?  Look at what I own right now compared to that, and it was just
me for almost three years.  Look at what Pete and I have.. Uh had."

I caught myself, Fred did too.  "You are going to have it again, you just
have to work it out." Fred saw optimism where I saw none.  I started the
car, drove him around the compact town I knew as my universe.  I showed him
my cousin's place, the town park and beach, the boulevard that hugged the
lakeshore.

I again struggled to remember who lived where, but certain homes stuck out.
I remembered which home had a dirt basement, perfect for Tonka Trucks.  I
remembered which of my mom's friends always made bread that she would share
with me. I knew which house my best friend lived in, and which house we
would sneak peeks at Playboy while we had our first beers.

"You mean your whole life wasn't "Leave It To Beaver?" I thought you were
living in a sixties sit-com for a while there buddy.  But you looked at
straight tittie mags and drank beer?"

"Their house was a bit on the freer side.  The sister also had Playgirl and
the older brother had the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers comics, so I could
sneak some peeks at dicks too while sipping the stolen beer."

As I gave him the grand tour, I started to see life.  Some of the people
looked familiar, then I realized it was one of my schoolmates. I smiled
since the years made them look like their parents had looked back in the
day. I wondered if they saw me and thought of my dad. However, my dad was
the only thing I could think of, so we drove out to the cemetery.

The cemetery is pretty bleak in Winter.  Few headstones poked out of the
deep snow carpeting it, but I knew where my dad's plot was. I parked the
car and sat there, letting the engine idle.

"Kyle, you never told me what it's like, having a dad that was there for
you. One you can look up to"

"It was all I knew at the time.  Fred, this was my universe.  We would
leave a few times every year, go see relatives for vacation, but this was
all I knew about.  I knew some kids who had parents who were alcoholics, or
abusive, but in my universe I had love and acceptance."

Fred reached into the back seat, grabbed his backpack.  Out of it he pulled
a small flag, one you might carry on the Fourth of July.  "I remember you
once said he was in World War II.  He deserves this on his grave.  It will
bring some color to this cold winter morning."

Fred was right. Winter had robbed the landscape of it's color.  It was
almost like we were in a black and white world. Grey skies, white and grey
birches, even the pines took on a dark grey hue. I let the car run as we
got out.  There was only a tip of the Veteran's cross sticking out of the
snow, signifying his plot.  We trudged through the snow and planted the
flag there.  I hugged Fred as we walked back to the car.  The simple
gesture he made meant everything to me.

We drove back to town, pulled into the parking lot of the local diner.  I
was about to walk in, when I saw my sister's best friend, Rhonda.

"DUKE, what are you doing here?" she walked toward me, throwing her arms
out for a hug, "and why didn't you call me?"

"Just had a need to see the old home. We were about to have lunch, want to
join us?"

"I have a better idea, come out to my house, I got enough food for an army,
I can throw something together for the two of you.

When Rhonda says that, you just play along.  "Change of plans" I said to
Fred. "She insists on feeding us. But you'll like her home, great view of
the lake."

When we got to her place, I introduced each other.  There was a slight
hesitance when I said Fred's name. Fred mentioned he needed to use the
bathroom, so I pointed the way.  "I thought your lover's name was Pete,
Kate, John and Mandy told me all about him.  He also isn't as tall as I
expected."

"Right now I am not sure if he is still my lover.  I kinda screwed up. Fred
is just a good friend who happens to be there for me when I need him, and
today I really need him."

Fred joined us in the kitchen as Rhonda rooted through the fridge.  She
pulled out some salads, chicken and bars.  Yep, this was always the case.
She could put on a smorgasbord at a moments notice.  Fred and I piled our
plates, then joined her in the living room which looked out onto a frozen
lake.

Rhonda put her right leg on the sofa cushion, then sat down on it.  Her
petite frame belied an outsized personality. We started sharing childhood
memories as we ate.  Fred took interest in people he didn't know.  "So what
was Kyle's dad like?  I asked him and he won't say."

"He's just being modest. Roy was the smartest, best looking man in town
that wasn't related to me.  He worked hard, and was proud of all of his
kids, even when they weren't perfect.  If you really want to know what Roy
was like, you just have to look at Kyle there.  I can see a lot of Roy in
him."

"That I believe" Fred said. "Kyle, I haven't told you this before, but you
and Pete are the closest I have ever had to a real father.  Yeah, I had the
guy who donated his sperm, but no one to look up to. I'm not gonna blame
being a drunk on him, that is all on me, but I doubt he would be here to
support me like you two have."

"Oh that is one thing Roy certainly wouldn't have dealt with.  He wasn't
too big on drinking.  He just didn't realize that all of his kids snuck
away.  I think your mom knew, didn't she?

"Oh mom was aware, but she too thought it was always someone else who
poured the beer down our throats.  "Who did this to you? "She said one time
when my brother came home drunk." We all laughed at that.

"You are lucky both of them cared enough to even do that.  My dad probably
would have stole my bottle."

"Well you are lucky Duke is in your life now.  I love him like a brother."

The feeling was mutual.  Rhonda offered us coffee to drink while we had
some of her tasty bars.  We spent the better part of the afternoon chatting
while watching snowmobilers crisscrossing the lake, while others were out
ice fishing.  The day had warmed up to a very crisp zero, but that just
meant everyone on the ice had another layer of clothing keeping them warm.

As the sun started to set, creating a pinkish-yellow glow over my hometown
across the lake, we realized it was time to leave.  Rhonda threw together a
few sandwiches and bars for our trip, then refilled our thermos with
coffee.

"Promise me two things Duke. You'll work on getting Pete back, and when you
do, you will bring Pete and Fred back to visit."

"I will do my best" I said.

"Try keeping me away" Fred added.

Just outside of town I saw a row of pine trees.  "They were planted when I
was young, now they're thirty feet high.  Where has the time gone?"

The oldies station was our soundtrack for a while.  Songs that were new
when those trees were planted, had stood the test of time. Neither of us
were good singers, but we would hum or whistle along. Suddenly we were by
the Jack Pines outside Floodwood.

"Duke" Fred said. "It's time you start working on getting Pete back. Be
like the Jack Pines and let those pine cones open. It's time for a rebirth.
You inherited that spirit from your dad."

Jack Pine Savages Part 2

 

Saturday night I knew the truth.  Fred and Rhonda were right.  I needed to
get Pete back, but I didn't know how to do it.

When we got back to Duluth, I dropped off Fred, then drove back to our
place.  I knocked at the door.  Pete's truck was there, but the house was
dark. I looked in the window, and saw a light downstairs, probably coming
from the sauna door.  I knocked loudly, wasn't sure if he heard me, so I
continued for a few minutes.  When nothing changed, I drove back home.

Then I called him, nothing. I called his cell phone, nothing. Finally I
found myself at the computer keyboard writing an email.

"Pete

What can I say, I fucked up. I realize you may not believe me but you have
to know nothing ever happened between me and Mike.

I wish there was something I could say, something I could do to let you
know how I feel.  Tell me what I need to do because I don't like living
this way. I need to be home with you, in your arms.

There is only one man who means more to me than you, and he is no longer
alive.

Tell me what I need to do, I'll do it.

1-4-3

Kyle"

Click/send.

Fred joined me in the upstairs office. He put a plate with a sandwich and
bars in front of me, then sat in the adjoining chair. "Someday soon, we can
do this downstairs in the new office. But you better not spill coffee on
the woodwork, I hear the carpenter is a real bear"

"Are you saying bear as in a grizzly animal, or as a furry gay
furnace. Because I know which one I would rather sleep with tonight.  It's
supposed to be minus 30 tonight out there."

"I'll keep you warm Duke.  You don't mind me calling you Duke do you?"

"I don't mind at all, it makes you feel like part of the family.  Which you
are, you know."

I ate my sandwich while we talked.  We decided to watch some home
improvement shows, then head to bed.  Fred's strong arms held me while we
watched TV, and did the same while we slept. The safety I felt, caused me
to sleep soundly. Dreams, good or bad, were kept at bay.

The next morning I checked my email.  The email to Pete was delivered and
read, but no response.  However I did get an email from Van who wanted to
stop by and check on our progress.  I sent back a reply suggesting we meet
late afternoon.

Fred cooked a hearty breakfast while I was on the computer.  He brought up
a plate to the office. I told him of our afternoon visitor.  It was a mixed
blessing for Fred.  He wanted to show the architect his handiwork, but also
was concerned that work on the house was at a stand still until an
electrician could be freed up.

"Sorry Fred, I've just lost focus on this project.  My heart's not in
it. My heart's not in a lot of things.  I think the office would be better
off if I stayed home too."

I hated saying it, but it was the truth.  The cold black and white
landscape of my hometown cemetery had followed me home. My mind was seeing
shades of grey, color had long vanished from my vision..  My trip home had
momentarily lifted me from the funk I was in, but the lack of response from
Pete put me back there.

Seeing Van that afternoon brought back a little of the color I was missing.
His fiery red beard was augmented by his orange and blue plaid shirt.  He
walked through the finished bathroom noticing the details that Fred and the
crew had taken such pride in.

When he saw the progress in the office he stopped.  The rich woods were
singing. His hands lingered on a detail.  He left his finger there as he
looked up to Fred. "This is exactly how I envisioned this.  Wait, no, it's
better."

Van's eyes sparkled, his smile shone through his red beard. "I've got a
project that has your name on it when you're done here.  I'll talk it over
with Mike. Look at this Kyle. This wood is all the color you need in this
room.  When I drove up here today I noticed your white farmhouse against
the grey and white landscape of winter and I was starving for some color,
any color.  I was worried about your white bathroom, but the details
elevate it.  I wondered if the office needed color, but seeing it now, the
answer is no."

It shook me how he was channeling me like that.  "I've been feeling the
need for color too, how can we accomplish it?"

"Look at Pete's home.  The warm wood is a break from this cold winter
weather."  Van saw the look on my face.  "Oh sorry about that, I forgot for
a moment.  Any chance of you two getting back together?"

"I don't know, I am trying, but right now the ball's in his court."

"I barely know you but I can see that what you guys had is worthwhile,
something to fight for.  But if it doesn't work out I know someone who is
single and available."  Van absentmindedly twisted his nipple through his
orange flannel shirt.  FUCK, here I was lamenting my failed relationship
and he says that?

"Don't tease me like that buddy.  I haven't given up yet."

"And you shouldn't.  I am sorry I said that my friend.  I just want to find
my own Pete or Kyle down the line."

We walked through the rest of the plans.  It was a shot of adrenaline to
the project, but still I was pessimistic about the completion timeline.
Van gave me a hug when he left. "Make it work with Pete" he said. "We'll
make it work here."

That night I chanced sleeping alone.  Fred had to get up early the next day
to work on one of Pete's other projects. Sleep found me quickly, the day
had drained me of my energy.  I recall one dream that night.  I was in my
new office, installing my computer there.  Pete had left it on the porch
along with a few boxes of clothes. "Figured you might need this" was
written on a small piece of paper taped to the box.

I got the computer up and running, when I looked towards the door.  There
stood a naked Van silhouetted by the ochre wall of the hallway. "Does the
color work for you?" he said.

My eyes started at the bright red hair at the top of his head.  His olive
green eyes winked back at me behind those tortoise shell frames.  The fiery
beard mingled with the more coppery fur carpeting his chest, his muscular
chest.  Two strong arms were crossed below that chest, framing his erect
nipples.  I wanted to look further down, I wanted to see his dick, but Van
startled me by tweaking his nipple. "I said, does this color work for you?"

Though Fred tried to be quiet, the closing of the door woke me, and not a
moment too soon.  I got up, pissed, and then walked naked to the office
where I powered up the computer.  Still no response from Pete.

I walked back to my old bedroom, rifled through the remnants of my drawers.
The clothes I had left there were minimal, I would need to do laundry soon.

I might have been a bit petulant after getting dressed, so before I left, I
sat down at the computer.

"Pete

Still wondering what I can do.

I know you have read my other email.

I know you are home.

I know you aren't answering the phone or the door.

I might need to stop by for clothes if this keeps up.

Kyle"

Click/send!

Regret sending.

I went in to work, got there early, though I am not sure why.  Driving past
Pete's house was painful.  Yes Van was right, the wood tones of his house
had a warm glow on this cold day.  But all I could feel was the chill in
the air created by not being there with Pete.  The truck in the driveway
clued me in, he was home, but there was no signs of life.

And then there was Van.  That dream last night, that image of him standing
there.  Well I'll be honest.  It gave me my first hard-on since my ill
fated wrestling match with Mike.  However we had a business relationship,
something I had to steer clear of.  After all, look what happened the last
time I crossed that line.

I made it through the day at work, and thought of going straight home, but
Fred called me to let me know he would be working late that night.  I drove
to a fast food place.  I ordered, then brought my tray to a table.  That is
when I saw him.

Sitting across from me, a few tables over, was "World's Greatest Dad" I
wasn't sure, I rarely saw him with his clothes on, but yes it was him.  He
was wearing glasses this time, tortoise frames similar to Van's.  He didn't
see me at first.  He was paying attention to his wife and daughter whose
backs were towards me.  "WGD" was an attentive dad, cutting up the
daughters chicken pieces.

The daughter got fussy, so the wife took her to the bathroom.  That is when
"WGD" noticed me.  He smiled a me at first, like an acquaintance.  Then a
leer grew across his face as he realized how he knew me.  He took a plastic
fork and stabbed a piece of chicken which he placed on his tongue, winked
at me while he wolfed that down.  Then he grabbed some fries, dipped them
in the sauce then shoved them suggestively into his mouth. "Later" he
mouthed, then winked.

What the fuck was wrong with him? A married man, out for a quick bite with
his wife and kid, and he is trying to pick me up. But what the fuck was
wrong with me? I was getting hard thinking about him despite myself. I
high-tailed it out of there, dumping my tray as quickly as I could.  I
fumbled with my keys at first in my car, then started it up, I looked back
at the restaurant.  The "WGD" was looking at me in my car.  He gave me a
thumbs up as his wife arrived.  I was glad I never saw her face.  All along
he had just been that hot straight guy I fucked, then sent home to wife and
kid.  I never expected to see the wife and kid.

I was somewhere uncomfortably between horny and ashamed.  My second hard-on
in a week was due to this encounter. I drove out of the parking lot, and
turned right instead of left.  My car knew where it was heading. It was
heading down to the sauna.

Of course I blame my car for having a mind of it's own, but in reality I
was thinking with my dick.  I could fixate on the breakup for another
night, or I could go play around with someone new. My dick said "Chance it"
so I parked, paid my entrance, then walked downstairs.

It was quiet, a couple of the regulars who I hadn't seen in a while. I
still had standards in my horniness, and they were not "sauna-worthy."  I
wrapped a towel around my waist and sat in the TV room.

Then he entered.  I am not sure I remember what detail I saw first, there
were so many fighting for my attention.  It could have been the salt and
pepper beard stubble on his strong cleft chin, or the windburn on his
cheeks. Maybe it was the shock of chest hair spilling out of opened
jacket. Possibly it was how his snowmobile pants rustled against his thick
thighs as he walked.

But the kicker, the thing I'll always remember, he was wearing a snowmobile
jacket with his club's name on it, "The Jack Pine Savages." He walked by me
sitting there.  He saw me, the corner of his mouth drew up in a smile. His
tongue darted out as he quietly chuckled "Yeah."

I waited a minute to listen to his actions.  I heard the locker open then
the sound of him getting undressed. After the locker closed, I heard the
distinct sound of the shower door being opened and closed.  I hesitated,
then walked that way.

The shower was empty, so was the back video room. I knew where he would be,
I went into the sauna.  There he sat on the top tier, almost exactly where
I usually sit.  Our body language already dictated that we were going to be
enjoying each other's company, so I sat down beside him, less than a palm's
width between us. He opened his legs a bit, spreading his thick thighs,
closing that gap.

"Great way to warm up from this deep freeze isn't it?" His thick hands
landed on my thigh and started to massage. "I know a way to make it even
hotter in here." His hand went to the nape of my neck, and massaged me
there.

What started out as a massage quickly changed direction as his other hand
stroked his uncut 6 inch dick.  I felt the pressure on my neck as he
pointed his dick towards me.  It was evident what he wanted from me. I knew
it would break the ice. He rolled back the foreskin, then helped lower my
head down to his crotch.

Damn, he was tasty, and boy did I need that taste. "Yeah, getting hotter
already buddy, too hot in here, let's go find a room."  He didn't bother
wrapping a towel around himself, nor did he even think of a shower.  He too
was thinking with his dick, and I followed his meaty ass out of the sauna,
into one of the large rooms. I started to close the door. "Leave it open"
he said, "make the others jealous."

"Let's see, where were we? Oh yeah, you were giving me head buddy." I
plunged down on his dick as soon as he laid down. "Yeah, that's it, get it
all nice and wet, spent the day with another buddy who got me all hot and
bothered looking at his ass.  He's not here, so you are gonna get what he
had cumming."

I bobbed up and down on the snowmobiler's dick as he started to play with
my butt hole.  Whoever had him raring to go earlier, was certainly missing
out on a hot session now.  I was enjoying this guy, maybe because he
reminded me of a chunkier Pete, but possibly because he was giving me a
closeness I had missed this past week.

I came up off his dick after a few minutes, looked in his eyes. "What's
your name?"

"Don... Now get back on it."

His strong hand directed my head back on his dick as two fingers started to
explore my ass.

I got him ready, he got behind me and started to rub his dick up and down
my crack. Just then a guy in a matching snowmobile jacket walked by the
room.

"Shit, is that him? Close the door."  I got up and quickly closed the
door. "That's him" he said.  "I need you to do something for me.  Go see if
he is undressing. If it's the guy I am thinking of, you will know by the
black and red watch band, and the greatest ass you have ever seen on a
guy. Talk to him, ask him his name. If it's Jed, bring him back and I will
show you both a three way that will have your ass twitching for months. By
the way, the lights will be off, leave them off `til I tell you to turn
them on."

I went to the locker room, pretended to look for something in my locker,
while the new guy undressed.  I saw him hang up his snowmobile jacket.  The
"Jack Pine Savages" insignia was there.  He pulled off his shoes, and
pants, then his shirt.  He turned towards the locker while he took off his
underwear. Don was right, this ass rivaled Pete's or the World's Greatest
Dad. On his left hand I saw the black and red watch band. I left the locker
room and went into the sauna, taking my perch.

The new guy entered. He was about ten years younger than me.  He smiled at
me, then claimed his spot right next to me, flashing that ass at me before
he sat down. "Cold night for snowmobiling, had to come in out of the deep
freeze.  Maybe I'll find something to take the chill off."

"The name's Kyle, what's yours?"

"Jed, nice to meet you Kyle."

He reached over towards my hard-on. "That'll take the chill off" I
said. "But I might have something even better in another room, want to join
a party?"

"Lead the way Stud"

Oh I wanted to follow Jed's ass. Something about it drew me in, but I had to take the lead that night.  I got up, threw my towel over my shoulder, and motioned for Jed to follow me. He did the same, his towel was over his shoulder, allowing his hard dick to bob as he walked towards the room.

I opened the door to the room, the light that filtered over the walls
barely silhouetted Don as he sat against the cold brick wall.  His thighs
were spread wide, six inches of uncut dick throbbed between them. "Chow
down buddy" I said. "Get it nice and slippery for later."

I knew that Don was hiding in the shadows for some reason, so I directed
the action. "Yeah, suck on his dick while I get that ass of yours ready for
it. Hands and knees buddy, get on your hands and knees" I lifted his butt a
little, then pushed the small of his back down to give me a better angle.
I sniffed between his cheeks, smelled the musk of a man, then started
chowing down.

I was in ass-pig heaven as I rimmed him.  With just a few licks Jed had
reached the same level of rim inspiration as Angelo and Worlds Greatest Dad
had been.  As my nose followed the trail my tongue did up and down his ass
trench, he started to rival Pete.  My hands played with his cheeks as I
licked away.  I teased his hole with my thumbs, alternating between the
two.  Each tease, opened his ass more.

I gave Don the OK sign, he gave me a thumbs up back, then gestured for Jed
to flip.  "Get on your back buddy, I think our friend is ready.  Jed
complied, laying down on his back.  In the darkness Don lifted Jed's legs,
planted his dick against Jed's hole, then gave me the signal to flip the
light switch.

I got up, flipped the switch. A shocked Jed said "Don!" then Don slammed
his uncut dick into his snowmobiling buddy in one fluid motion.

"Who else buddy?  We've been beating around this bush for too long, its
about time I plow that ass of yours."

With that, Don leaned forward and kissed his friend as he started to fuck
that near perfect ass.  Yeah, I realized it was near perfect. Near perfect
because it wasn't Pete's. The three way suddenly became two guys going at
it, and a distracted spectator.  It was as if I was watching the b-movie
version of my love life with Pete. I had to get out of there.

I went to my locker.  I wasn't sure what to do with myself, head home, or
stick around and watch TV.  I looked in my pockets for change, maybe I'd
get a pop from the machine.  I noticed that I missed a call from Fred, so I
redialed.  "Yeah, down at the diner... No the other diner... Not all you
can eat tonight, but if you stop by I can promise you all you can
hug... Okay, see you soon."

Ten minutes later Fred walked through the TV room.  I joined him at his
locker as he undressed.  It's funny how I had almost dismissed him a few
months ago when he was just another one of Pete's drunk friends.  Now I
looked at him getting undressed and I saw him as a masculine, even sexy
friend.

"How about a sauna, shower and then hug?" I said. "If you see something to
your liking I won't hold you back, but I don't see sex in my cards
tonight."

Fred joined me at my spot in the sauna. We talked about his newest project,
it was a time filler until he could get back to working full time on my
house. He had also met with Van who wanted him to work on his next major
renovation.  A banking executive just moved up to Duluth from the Twin
Cities and wanted Van's stamp on his house.  The timing sounded perfect if
we could complete my remodel by the end of May.

Fred and I sweated away in the sauna. It was a unique experience, talking
shop instead of talking sex, but I enjoyed it. Then he entered. The World's
Greatest Dad climbed to the top tier and laid down, ass up.  He raised his
ass for a moment, then pushed his dick back.  I had seen this happen many
times before, and I knew what was expected of me.

He wiggled his ass as his dick plumped up. I marveled again that it seemed
to be the younger, cut twin to Pete's. Once again it wasn't the real
thing. It wasn't the dick, or the man that I loved.

Fred on the other had started to get hard, harder than I'd ever seen him.

"You like?" I whispered and nodded towards WGD's furry ass.

"Yes, yes very much. I'd like to deep throat that mother."

"Ain't gonna happen, he'll have other plans for you. And who knows, you
might like them, broaden your horizons."

Worlds Greatest Dad wiggled his ass once again. In the light of the sauna
you could see his hole spasm as it winked to us. He sat up, stroked his
dick once then wrapped the towel loosely around his waist before descending
the tiers.  He went to the door, opened it, then nodded for the two of us
to follow him.

WGD wanted a three-way. Any other time I might have jumped at the
opportunity, but not that night. We followed him out of the sauna, through
the shower and locker room, and down to the large corner room.  He opened
the door, only to see Jed's ass being pummeled by Don.

He went across the hall, opened the door, and saw it was empty. I looked at
the World's Greatest Dad as he dropped his towel and said to him "Sorry
buddy, I'm heading home. You're up Fred, do me proud."

WGD's well sculpted ass entered the room, Fred was right behind it.

I showered, dressed then said goodbye to the man behind the counter. "Have
a good night buddy, hope you had fun" he said.

"More important than that my friend. I felt the chill leave my body."

I got out in the subzero night.  My car started, and I put the heater on
blast. I drove home as I often did, taking the scenic route. I thought of
Pete, and for the first time since we broke up, there was hope in my
thoughts.  Why settle for a pale imitation of Pete, when I can have the
real thing.  And though I have fun, why would I fuck someone who is married
to another person, when I could be spending my time fighting for the man
who isn't perfect, but is perfect for me.

Optimism warmed my thoughts, Optimism that carried me until I got home.
There on the side porch was a cardboard box.  It was from Pete, filled with
some of my clothes neatly folded. Unlike the dream, there was no note
attached.

Jack Pine Savages Part 3: Clarity

**********
This Chapter is written from each man's perspective as noted
**********

**********
Kyle's Story
**********

There was a certain clarity in the fall and winter months when I was 15.
Puberty can be confusing for anyone, especially someone from a small town
in the early 1970's, fighting with his sexuality. However a chance
introduction via TV, to the guy who would become my favorite jerk off
fantasy, slammed the door shut on any question of my orientation.  Even
though I did nothing to act on it, I felt sure and strong in my future as a
gay man.

My parents gave me the conviction to live my life, and express the thoughts
I did, even if they were unpopular.  I thought then that people could see
right through me, knew my secret, but in the end I didn't care.  For an
awkward scrawny fifteen year old, I had strength in my beliefs, and my many
friends accepted me the way I was.

Beyond Ivan, my TV crush, I remember some of the other men who helped map
out what kind of man attracted me.  For the most part they were MEN, not
boys.  I was the team manager for Basketball and Football.  Only a few of
the players caught my eyes, but Coach was a different story.  Coach was all
man.  Tightly muscled, lightly furred, he had a swagger that carried him
through the locker room, field or on the court.

There was also this Basketball ref from the Range.  Tall, handsome, nice
five o'clock shadow and chest hair spilling above his white t-shirt. Then
after one game I saw him head out of the coaches office, down towards the
locker room and showers.  He had about seven inches of soft dick hanging
between his legs.  Damn, he ruined me for a while.  That long dick of his
became the impossible mark.

The local cop's strong cleft chin, and perpetual five o'clock shadow also
left an impression. The town women would swoon at him in his all too tight
uniform. I remember delivering the newspaper one Sunday morning when I
opened the door to drop off the morning paper.  He was standing there in
the kitchen, naked, coffee cup in hand, showing me what filled out those
uniform pants.  He winked at me, he knew. Yep, I was into men, not boys.

Most of all I remember the weekly trips to the Iron Range with my Dad.  My
oldest sister had gotten a job out of college at a hospital there.  She
wasn't in a position long enough to afford her own car, so Dad would travel
up there on Friday, pick her up and bring her home.  On Sunday, the process
would repeat.  I would be Dad's trusty sidekick for the two hour round
trip.

AM radio was still king.  Nightfall was early these months, and changes in
the ionosphere allowed me considerably more options for the road-trip
soundtrack.  I could opt for the local Top 40 Station WEBC, or hear the
slightly more urban Top 40 of WLS in Chicago.  Even later in the night I
could listen to the underground sounds of Beaker Street transmitted from
KAAY in Little Rock Arkansas.

Through these stations I was transported beyond my small town.  Dad and I
would quickly catch up on the day, but most of the trip was silent, except
for the music.  The night sky was limitless.  In the pure black of an
atmosphere uncluttered by city light, the stars and planets shone.  The
darkness silhouetted a stand of pines here, a productive iron ore mine
there.  Every once in a while the Northern Lights would put on a show,
dancing to the music on the AM dial.  At fifteen I felt the struggle
between significance and insignificance. The infinity of that night sky
made the answer less apparent.

Even with the aural limitations of AM radio, songs would cut through that
night sky and introduce me to different musical scenes.  The crisp guitar
into to "Go All The Way" by The Raspberries represented the Power Pop of
Cleveland. Their slightly glam look was how I thought gay men were supposed
to look, but I was definitely into men, not them, whether or not they were
gay.

There were songs about the radio itself, and it's power. You could "Drift
Away" to Dobie Gray's song, or Joni Mitchell's "You Turn Me On, I'm A
Radio." Many drives I drifted away, and many drives the radio turned me on.

Old School and New School clashed on the AM band as Elvis blasted into
space with one last great single in "Burning Love." Meanwhile the young
upstarts David and Elton took us on a "Space Oddity" with a "Rocket Man".

My universe was expanded beyond the whiteness of my small town by War with
"The World Is A Ghetto." In that ghetto the Temptations introduced me to a
father that was very unlike mine, with "Papa Was A Rolling Stone."

And more black voices clued me into love unrequited, immeasurable, and
universal through Al Green's "I'm So Tired Of Being Alone" The Stylistics
"I'm Stone In Love With You" and The O'Jays' "Love Train."

Most of all I remember the Philly Soul Sound of "If You Don't Know Me By
Now" by Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes.  The strings would slice through
the crisp night.  The Blue Notes quietly set the mood with their harmonies.
Teddy Pendergrass then spent the next 3 minutes testifying, alternating
between pleading, and assignation.  I was too young to understand it
completely, never being in love, but I felt the emotion.

Dad would let me listen to my station even though he didn't share my taste
in music.  We would be alone together in that car, each lost in our own
thoughts.  He worked for MnDOT, so we were driving the roads he was
responsible for.  Every once in a while he would reach over to touch me,
put his hands on my knee, let me know he loved me. At those moments
significance would win out.

I was struggling that February night in 2000 with my own significance.
February can be a bleak month in the Northland.  After months of cold, snow
and darkness the soul yearns for a break.  Although they are just days on a
calendar, we are lucky that February is only twenty-eight days long.  In
the cruelest irony, this was a leap year, I found myself lost on February
29th.

I left work, but couldn't head home.  I was trying to avoid the impossible,
driving by his house.  Something had happened in the last two weeks,
something larger than the surface evidence would indicate.  I lost Pete
somehow, and I wasn't sure if I could get him back. I had tried getting him
back, but the daily parcel on the porch was his reminder to me.  He was
slowly emptying out things that belonged to me.  The computer I found there
last night was possibly the biggest evidence that he thought we were over.

So here I was, my car was full of gas, and I had nowhere to go.  I thought
of stopping at the diner, but taking a seat at the counter instead of my
usual booth with Pete would crush me.  I also thought of stopping at "the
diner" but hollow sex just wasn't the ticket that night.  I finally just
decided to drive, see where I ended up.

With the help of the oldies station I started along Skyline Parkway,
heading north this time.  The residential segment of the Parkway had a wide
range of architecture to look at, including a few houses that were personal
favorites.  There was one house perched on the hill top, the virtual twin
to Pete's chalet, I quickly looked away.

Soon the Parkway entered a green space.  I continued along, past Hawk's
Ridge, through Seven Bridges Road and when my funk didn't leave me, I drove
on.  I knew that I could take Old Highway 61 up the north shore of Lake
Superior, so I drove on.  At 7:00 the oldies station started their 70's at
7 show.  Suddenly I was transported back.

I was beyond the haze of the city sky, and the darkness was enveloping.
The half-moon reflected on the vastness of Lake Superior as I drove north.
Each song on the radio reminded me of those drives with my Dad.  Years
added emotional heft to some of the songs, while others seemed naïve.
Twenty-seven years had passed, and I still wondered about significance,
insignificance.  Each song tied me to my universe.

Then about twenty miles north of Duluth, strings cut through the nighttime
sky.  The Blue Notes started their chorus, and Teddy began to plead.  I
found the nearest spot, pulled over, I had to, I was forced to. While it
wasn't our story, every word hit home.  I saw the fine line between tears
and rage.  "If You Don't Know Me By Now" finally revealed it's meaning to
me, and I knew what had to be done.  I pulled out my cell phone, no
reception, damn.

I backed out of my spot, headed south on Scenic 61 with a clear focus.
Things that seemed cold and insignificant on the ride north, suddenly
showed life.  I noticed smoke curling out of a small lake cabin, a remnant
of simpler times.  Meanwhile a larger new house emitted an amber glow into
the ionosphere.  A laker was off to my left, heading into port.  The songs
kept on coming, their voices pushed me on.

I got into town, took the Grand Avenue exit and drove through the
workingman neighborhoods of a strong city.  About five miles from Pete's I
heard the opening of "Let It Be".  It did "whisper words of wisdom" and
gave me hope.

Once again I was heading down our road, I pulled into our drive, parked by
his truck, and even though I still had the key, I knocked on our door.

Pete opened.  "I'm not giving up on you this easy" I said as I hugged him
in and finally let go of the tears.

**********
Pete's story.
**********

I don't remember when exactly I felt that I had lost Kyle.  However the
pain was there in the truth.  I had lost him, due to both of us being too
proud.  At least that is what I kept telling myself.  In my heart I blamed
me, and me alone. He told me it was all a misunderstanding, I didn't
believe him. I was too proud to believe him.

It was so easy to go back to my old ways.  I had lived over a quarter
century without a relationship and I did fine in those years.  I didn't
need the complications of a man in my life.  That was another thing I kept
telling myself.  Four months ago, I wouldn't even think of me being in love
with a man, four months from now it wouldn't matter.

So here I was, alone on a Tuesday night, the last February day I would have
to suffer this year.  I made a simple dinner, thought of turning on the TV,
but had no motivation. I thought of playing a game of pool, but the table,
his gift, only reminded me of him more.  I decided that I could lose myself
in some oldies, so I turned on the radio.

The 70's at 7 show had just started.  I thought of the Seventies as my
favorite time, up until my wife left me.  The music reminded me of those
nights on our wrestling bus as we drove from town to town in our Midwest
region.  We had a converted Greyhound bus, the accommodations were minimal.
Some of the guys would grab some shut eye, but I was never able to.

I often found myself up near the front with the bus driver Jim.  We would
sit and talk about nothing much important.  He often thanked me for keeping
him awake, sometimes in treacherous driving conditions.  He would play the
radio softly.  Loud enough to keep him awake, yet quietly enough, not to
disturb those who were trying to sleep in the back.  Most of the times it
was background to our friendship.

Songs became a part of my life by being there.  During a lull in
conversation a song might come to the forefront and connect with us.  Jim
and I didn't have much in common.  He was a college student, not interested
in wrestling, just there to earn extra income while at UMD.  Somehow these
pop songs became common ground for us.  Every once in a while one would
come on that both of us related to, and it would create the lull as we both
stopped to listen.

As I sat in front of the fireplace listening to the radio I realized that I
was thinking about someone I hadn't seen in decades because of a song.
What would happen months, years from now if I heard a song that reminded me
of Kyle, someone I had loved.  Then I heard the music of one of those
songs.  Every bit of it was like a knife in my heart.

The lyrics hit me after the strings.  It was one of those songs that I
might have sung along to on a different night, but tonight the lyrics hit
too close to home.

"Just trust in me Like I trust in you As long as we've been together That
should be so easy to do"

Damn, I had fucked up.  Everything we did was based on love and trust, and
I doubted both, just long enough to screw up the only love I had really
known.

I didn't know what to do but I knew I had to do something.  I picked up my
cell phone to call his home phone, then his cell.  No answer at either,
fuck, was he avoiding me?  That got to me, had I fucked it up completely?
I couldn't sit there, I grabbed a jacket and got into my truck.  I drove
down to Kyle's, no vehicles there.  I figured that Charlie and Fred were
probably at a meeting with Gino.

I thought maybe Kyle had joined Mike at the bar for burgers. I hi-tailed it
over there, only to see Mikes truck, no sign of Kyle's car.  I momentarily
thought of going inside to confront Mike, but I realized I was fueled by
jealousy, not the smartest way to win back my man. At least I was thinking
of him as my man.

I drove home as my pulse calmed down.  It was almost back to normal by the
time I pulled into our road.  Then I heard the start of "Let It Be".  I
parked the truck, let it idle as I listened, I had no choice.

As the last chords faded I turned off the truck and went inside.  I sat by
the fire, blacked out for a moment until I heard a loud knocking at the
door. I opened, Kyle looked at me and said "I'm not giving up on you this
easy" We then fell into an embrace, he started crying, I wasn't far behind.

**********
Kyle's Story
**********

I don't know when we stopped crying, and I don't know when they went from
tired tears to tears of happiness caused by being in his arms.  I do
remember that when I started to speak, he stopped me.  "Nothing to be said
right now Babe.  It is time for our actions to speak for themselves."

He picked me up, it couldn't be easy, but he did.  He carried me upstairs
to our bedroom.  Parts of me that felt dead for the last two weeks came
alive.  He placed me on the bed and started to undress me.  Every step was
deliberate and loving.  He then took off his clothes, his eyes locked on
mine.  I felt his desire.  He too wanted to lose the pain we both had
experienced.

I laid back, I was ready for anything this man wanted.  He climbed onto the
bed, straddled me, his dick pressed against my stomach, and my own dick as
Pete lowered his face to mine.  "I should have never doubted our love Kyle"
he whispered then he kissed me.  The kiss said more than words ever could.

**********
Pete's Story
**********

I never needed anything, anyone more, than I needed Kyle at that moment.
The words of my apology were short, but I proved them with my kisses.
Words can be hollow without truth to back them up.  I wanted no doubt in
Kyle's mind that I was sorry for what I put him through.  We continued to
kiss, to caress, to roll around on the comforter, sharing that love.

He was my equal in that love, that moment.  Hell he was my equal in
everything.  I remembered his promise months ago to give as good as he got.
Kyle always did that.  I guess we both pushed each other to be better, we
were doing it again right then.  I felt the man that was my equal, I held
him, I kissed him, he gave in kind.  I wanted nothing more than to enter
him, to give him my love.  But as his equal I had different plans suddenly.

**********
Kyle's Story
**********

Pete got between my legs, looked me in my eyes.  I felt the hunger and love
in them, so I bent my knees in anticipation of what was to come.  Instead
he slowly crawled up between my legs, straddled my chest and dropped the
hooded head of his dick in my mouth.  He did this in one movement, never
losing sight of my eyes.  I looked up at my man with love as he fed me his
foreskin.  I found the taste that I had missed the last few weeks.

He smiled at me, letting me know that he enjoyed being back where he
belonged.  I was enjoying it too, tasting that meaty flesh, knowing the man
who offered it to me.  I was certain I was there to add spit to his
thickness, to ease entrance as he started to make love to me.  I was
assured of it when he started to gather spit on his fingers.  Then he
surprised me, he used that hand to reach behind and apply the spit to my
dick.  Then in one quick move Pete backed himself onto my dick.

"Make love to me Kyle.  Let's make up for those days where I was an idiot."
I couldn't pass up Pete's offer.  I started to push up into him as his ass
hovered above me.  It had been a while since I had fucked him, but he was
taking it.  I felt him alternate opening and closing his ass as I entered
him.  I raised up on my elbows, he bent down, our mouths met once again.
My knees were bent, I used them as leverage to thrust into his hot ass.

I pulled him into my arms, my dick still thrusting into his butt, I am not
sure how he did it.  He stopped our kisses for a few seconds to hiss out
"Gawd I needed this."

I leaned forward to continue the kisses then said "So did I".  We continued
for a few minutes, but I could tell we were both getting uncomfortable.  I
wanted this moment of love to last before I came.  I wanted to feed Pete
with every bit of my love.  So I motioned for him to pull off, and he got
on his side presenting that hot ass to me.  I got on my side, leaned over
his back for a moment, looked into his eyes as my dick entered his ass.
"This is for the man I love, and the man I will always love" With that I
started to grind his butt again.

Even though I wanted it to last, it didn't take long for me lose it.  I
started to shoot into Pete's butt.  He could feel it and responded with a
grin and a throaty "Yeah."  Instead of the usual three to five squirts, I
kept on.  My orgasm became more intense as I unloaded in him.  For a minute
I thought I was actually beyond coming, it felt like I was pissing in his
butt.  The warmth and wetness just kept coming.  I pulled my cock out for a
bit, steadied it, and when I was sure I was okay, I slammed it back home.

**********
Pete's Story
**********

I wanted to be fucked, I just didn't plan on it being this intense.  Maybe
it was the lost time being made up, but Kyle fucked me like never before,
and when he came he reached new levels.  I felt each rush of cum at first,
but he seemingly didn't stop cumming.  When Kyle pulled out I felt empty
for a second, I was ready to cuddle, but he slammed back in.

So this is what sloppy seconds feels like.  Kyle was like an unleashed
animal.  At least he was if that animal had a sense of humor.  He started
to chuckle, I wasn't sure why.  I was having fun too.  "I think I just
filled your butt with two weeks worth of cum Pete" he chuckled.  "I hope it
was worth the wait.  I know it was for me."

He twisted his body and mine, went in for a kiss while still grinding on my
ass. "Still hard this long after cumming, all because of you babe.  He was
slowly screwing me, the urgency gone, but the passion still there.  "I
never plan to be away from you this long again, but I really like how we
are making up."

My ass was receptive to his love.  I loved the connection we had.  I got
into a simple soothing rhythm of opening and closing my butt.  His cock was
slick from the cum he had shot earlier so he was sliding around easily,
enjoying the heat of my ass.  I wanted another dose of his spunk.

"Fill me again Kyle, I need my mans cum.  I have missed it too long"

**********
Kyle's Story
**********

Who was I to deny my man's wishes?  Pete really made it easy for me.  He
clenched his ass one more time, creating this excruciating friction on my
dick.  With both hands I grabbed onto his hairy pecs, and dumped whatever I
had left into his ass.  Pete responded by gripping my dick with his
talented sphincter once again.  First one spasm, then four, then three.

I smiled, knowing the meaning.  I tapped out the same message on his pecs.

**********
Pete's Story
**********

I felt the tapping on my chest.  My heart slowed down to match the tempo.
Kyle's dick was still lodged in my butt, I feared what would happen if he
pulled out.  I reached back to pull him closer.  I felt his heartbeat slow
down as our breathing returned to normal. It was still early in the night,
but I welcomed our trip to dreamland.

**********
Kyle's Story
**********

The Northern Lights were exceptionally active that night, Green auras
changed to blue, then just as quickly to purple, Each color reflected in
the blue vinyl dashboard of my Dad's 1973 Dodge.  The dance of these
spectral wonders matched the pulsing keyboard music that emanated from the
car's tinny speakers.  Suddenly the oooohs and ahhhs of The Three Degrees
filled the interior of our car on that chilly February night.  I started to
hum along, my dad tapped out the rhythm on his arm rest.  We didn't have
that many songs in common, but this slice of Philly Soul always brought a
smile to his face.  The Northern lights went into overdrive, matching the
pulsing beat of "When Will I See You Again".  For three minutes the entire
sky was lit with a shimmering cascade of color.

"It's amazing isn't it Kyle?  What we take for granted most people will
never see.  The Aurora Borealis, the timber wolf, a snowy owl in some Jack
Pines, a bald eagle fishing.  Don't ever lose sight of what is in your back
yard as you go after your dream."

I looked over at my dad, he winked, patted my knee.  "You've grown into
quite the fine man Kyle.  This is just the beginning young man, it isn't
the end"

Then suddenly a deer darted out in front of our car.  Dad stomped on the
brakes causing a calendar to fly off the dash into my lap. I saw that the
month of March was filled with green numbers.  I quickly put the calendar
back on the dash, glanced at the passenger side mirror and saw the 43 year
old me staring back.

"See, this isn't the end" Dad said, tapping out 1-4-3 as he did so.

**********
Pete's Story
**********

Something had compelled me to watch my man doze off.  We slowly untangled
and sleep caught up with him.  I had been foolish in losing him, I was
going to relish having him back in my life. There was a sliver of moonlight
bathing him as he started to dream.  A smile crept across his face so I
knew it was a good dream.  From the living room I heard the faint sound of
the radio.  I remembered those strings, those oooohs, those ahhhs.  I
embraced Kyle like I hadn't in weeks while I strained to hear the music.
As the music swelled I drummed my fingers gently on his chest to the beat
of the rhythm.  I remembered all of the lyrics and I hummed along softly as
Kyle's smile broadened.

I hugged him tighter, tapped our secret code, 1-4-3, then whispered in his
ear "This isn't the end Kyle, far from it."

 

Edited September 20, 2015 by JoelR