Thanksgiving Jokes

[Bryson]

When You're Prepping in the Kitchen

"Let's give 'em pumpkin' to talk about."

"I'm all about that baste."

"Activate: Feast Mode."

"Don't marsh my mellow."

"You've really got your turk cut out for you."

"You're the belle of the (Butter)ball."

"Why did the chef refuse to crack an egg? He didn't want to whisk it."

"Baking is my cardio."

"They see me rollin', they hatin'."

[Bryson]

When You're Diving Into the Sides

"Turkey, gravy, beans, and rolls. Let me see that casserole."

"Wham, yam, thank you ma'am."

"Much ado about stuffing."

"Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!"

"It doesn't get butter than this."

"Bread-y or not, here I crumb."

"Eat, drink, and cranberry."

"Pour some gravy on me."

"Nobody puts gravy in the corner."

"You ain't seen stuffing yet."

"#SquashGoals"

"Life's gourd, and then you pie."

"Whatever floats your gravy boat."

[Bryson]

When You're Talking Turkey

Turkin' 9 to 5

Turkey trot like it's hot.

"Hey I just met you, and this is gravy, but here's my stuffing, so carve me maybe."

"My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey."

"Gobble 'til you wobble."

"Getting the longer part of the wishbone is a snap."

"We’ll worry about the Christmas tree later. Today it’s all about the poul-tree."

“Don’t make Thanksgiving a cluster-pluck”

"What do you call a running turkey?" "Fast food."

"Why did the cranberry turn red?" "Because he saw the turkey dressing!"

"What sound does a turkey's phone make?" "Wing, wing, wing."

 

[Bryson]

When It's Time for Dessert

"I only have pies for you."

"I pecan't even." (Oh, yes, you pe-can.)

“Let’s give them pumpkin to talk about”

"Whip, whip, hooray."

"When I whip, you whip, we whip..."

"I like big Bundts and I cannot lie."

"My favorite actor is Robert Brownie Jr."

"Sure, abs are great, but have you ever had pumpkin pie?"

[Bryson]

When You're Pouring the Wine

"Let's get basted."

"Let's get sauced."

"You had me at merlot."

"Sip happens."

"No wine left behind."

"What does a grape say when it gets stepped on?" "Nothing, it just lets out a little wine."

[Bryson]

When You're Too Full to Lift a Finger

"Oh my gourd, I ate too much."

"Baste. Thanksgiving. Ever."

"Silence of the yams."

"That was plucking delicious!"

"It's all fun and games until you have to unbutton your pants."

[Bryson]

When It's Time for Round Two

"Knock, knock! Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any leftovers?"

"Piece out." (As you take off with leftover pie)

"I can't quit cold-turkey."

"I was planning on taking home leftovers, but all my plans were foiled."

"Feast today, for tomorrow, we shop!"

"Leftovers are for quitters."