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519: Nutbush Campground Grand Opening!
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Yesterday was the big day - Loveless Motel has been working for months creating a campground to expand its spring, summer and fall accommodations and despite a forecast of rain, the big parade started off at the Motorpool, as promised. Hard Tack manager Will U Bonus kilted up to pipe the assembled crowd into the campground, the parade winding down past the Bunkhouse, through the newly constructed archway. On the shores of the campground swimming hole, a lone player answers Will's call. A drum and brass trio escorted a solid line of VW campers through the Nutbush Campground arch, and the day was off to a perfect start.-
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480. The Department of Complaints Department
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
From time to time our office receives complaints after a stay, invariably asking for compensation. This photograph was sent in by an irate guest who says that housekeeping provided his party with an inadequate solution for bathing when, due to plumbing issues during their stay, and overbooking our facilities, the guests were unable to use the communal showers at the Bunkhouse, where they had booked. Offered to upgrade to a motel room at a slight discount, they declined due to their own budget constraints. While it is true that we do provide portable bathing tubs upon request, Loveless Motel as determined that the small vessel in the photo the guest sent is not a tub we would have provided The standard model, The Rub-a-Dub Tub pictured below, is much larger, as anyone can plainly see, and these were available during the guest's stay. Furthermore, there is no notation on the guest file that a request was made for a portable tub. Unfortunately the request for a freebee will be denied, and the guest's profile will be appropriately noted. As a gesture of goodwill, the management will include in its condescending and saccharinely worded "Gotcha" form-letter of regret, a 10 percent off coupon for a bar of soap, with an expiration date of April 1, this year. Of course, guests with complaints should always bring these to the attention of management during a stay, and not after it, but often those things which need not be said do need to be said. Timeliness of complaints is also addressed in the teeny tiny fine print of the lodging contract each guest signs at check-in, however the attention of our guests is generally diverted elsewhere, as Psycho Randy, the front desk clerk is notorious for cruising new arrivals while playing pocketpool in full view of his mark during a guest's check-in process -
422. Jock and denim thief on the loose
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Guests of the Bunkhouse have been lodging complaints for a few days now regarding stolen jock straps and jeans that have gone missing when using the communal showers there. Cowboys over at The Stables can really work up a sweat what with showing city boys the ropes and all, and it's just a natural thing for a cowboy to want to lather up with his buds while hanging his duds in a place they ought to be secure. The mystery is deepened and particularly concerning, as some of the cowboys have been working on ripening their jocks for months, and the prospect of going into town looking for new jockstraps doesn't thrill anyone except maybe the salesmen in the JCPenney or Sears men's clothing departments, though some of the cowboys don't complain too much if they get hold of a townie who wants to provide a personal fitting. -
340. "I wish I knew how to quit you"
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Breaking up is hard to do. These two cowboys met at the Malamute Saloon over at the Bunkhouse at Loveless Motel and realized that wearing the same jacket is a fashion faux pas from which one can never recover and that matchy-matchy is beyond tacky; one of them would have to leave, or face the scorn of other guests. After discussing which one should pack his bags and skedaddle, at this writing the ̶l̶e̶g̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ question is still up in the air.-
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339. Well, Tie me up and sing to me!
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
In lieu of cattle, cowboys at Loveless often practice their roping skills on random passersby over near The Stables, and as any real cowboy knows, there are three things you should never leave home without. Your rope and your guitar.-
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338. Dad and Son work as a team at The Stables
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
It's all in the family - these two men hired on for the season and will work at The Stables in trade for room and board. Dad is Calvin, and son Buck are the talk and fantasy of many of the guests. "Do they know this is an all-male resort?" They know.-
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337. Sometimes a feller needs a break
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
While it's all just fine and dandy that a guest of Loveless Motel can head over to The Stables to rent a horse without a thought, our ranch hands work hard! Sometimes, a feller just needs to take a break. -
Whoa, Nellie! Another Saturday night at Loveless Motel. Can't wait! Bunkhouse will be hoppin' - what could possibly go wrong? The Hoosegow will be busy-busy.
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227. The Hoosegow in the Bunkhouse - Loveless Venue
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Here we have an exterior shot of The Hoosegow - Loveless Motel's very own detention center, located in the Bunkhouse. Why is there a jail at a resort? As Sheriff Buck N. McBuff says, "Fuck around and find out" He says "Drunk guys do stupid shit and we have to mainly protect them from themselves, as well as others. If they land in detention, we feed 'em for free, and, well, they're usually not in there alone, if you get my drift. In fact", he goes on to day, "I swan some of them boys will get into fisticuffs just to get thrown in, for fun" -
Sizing up your cowboy is an important step as you contemplate a conjugal mosey. Take that step at Loveless Motel this weekend - the Malamute Saloon at the Bunkhouse just about measures up.
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Choose yer Partner at the Malamute Saloon in the Bunkhouse at Loveless Motel. Or get in a line...
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The Malamute Saloon at the Bunkhouse at Loveless Motel pours a big mug and puts a head on it, but sure enough, it'll catch up to ya.. .and there's always a cowboy waitin' to watch and have some second hand beer.
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221. Gettin all gussied up fer the daynce
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
You can take a cowboy off his horse, but you can't wash the horse off a cowboy. The fellers at the Malamute don't give a hoot at Loveless Motel. If a prairie bath ain't yer speed, the Bunkhouse has group showers. -
220. Saturday Night at the Malamute Saloon
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
The fellers at the Bunkhouse at Loveless Motel are getting excited - it's gonna be a great weekend at the Malamute Saloon. Here's your chance to ride a cowboy!-
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The barn over at the Stables is the place to rent a horse, or ride a cowboy. Loveless Motel has something for everyone!
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Hey Cowboy! Maybe we'll see you tonight at the Malamute Saloon in the Bunkhouse at Loveless Motel
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Our local sheriff appreciates how nice and attentive our guests are - the only calls he has to make on our property work out pretty good for everyone involved. Bucking his Bronco is language we speak at Loveless Motel
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145. Let's talk about getting you broke in...
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
Two cowboys shoot the breeze and talk about being broke, going broke, going for broke, and getting broke in at Loveless Motel. Cowboys have an interesting range of conversation...-
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The best way to check to see just how hot your cowboy is at Loveless Motel, is a never fail system using a rectal thermometer (of sorts). Time to put him to bed and give him lots of fluids.
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143. Cruisin' Cowboys at Hard Tack General Store
redheaguy51 posted a blog entry in Loveless Motel Parody backup
This cowboy has made a leather/levi buddy at Loveless Motel. Hanging out in front of the Hard Tack General Store near the Bunkhouse is always a great place to strike up a conversation, especially when you're dressed for the occasion. The fellow on the left is a short-time employee at the store, taking advantage of Loveless Motel's work-release program for guests who were unable to pay their bill in full at checkout. Hard Tack offers second hand cowboy gear and Beechnut chewing tobacco.-
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Head on over to The Stables at Loveless Motel and book a horse ride...or ride a cowboy.... You too can be a dude for a day!
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Need a quick smoke? Get your favorite brands in dispensing machines in each of our bars and near the ice machines on each floor. If you prefer a man to provide you with a cigarette, you can purchase a pack over the counter at Hit and Split, our 24 hour convenience store, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel.
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For those who are interested in the wild west. Jay