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Uncle Joe always inserts into his lectures during his intern classes at Loveless Motel "Three things to remember" and teaches this module as a class participation activity, and asks this particular class of nine men to form 3 groups of three by counting off "1,2 or 3" "I'm going to assign each group one thing to remember, and it's your task to illustrate to the class what each thing means and an easy way to remember it. "Snap" Wadmacher will take a photo of each group showing us your interpretation. Here's the list! " Okay number ones - here's your theme: 1. Always wear clean underwear, in the event you need to go the hospital unexpectedly, so that you don't bring shame on your family. Number twos - show us this: 2. A little brush with olive oil makes for a tasty crust on your buns. And finally, number threes - 3. Don't fill your plate too hastily. In this house, we always make sure there's enough to go around for everybody to eat. "Yes, Mother Joe"

These gents are what you call organic queers. That is to say, that rural men do what comes naturally. Hours spent alone tilling, plowing, mucking, plucking, shucking, sowing, fertilizing, irrigating and whatever else there is to do to keep a place going, invariably are broken by incidents of body self exploration and awareness. Jacking off in the middle of your newly plowed field while seated on the tractor, while no one is around to witness or tell is a time-honored tradition, and a rite of passage for many, especially when they encounter fellow community men in the act. Curiosity eventually fosters action. Out behind the barn, the farmhands are taking a break for a short masturbation session, learning that its a lot more fun to do with a buddy what up until now was reserved for a farm animal with a nice face. And things are always made more interesting when there's a new hand who's brought into the fold. What goes on out behind the barn is a thing. The man in the middle is a little more experienced and gets the Loveless Motel Circular that comes every month with news, gossip, pictures, and ads for special deals. He's convinced the other two to book a 3 day weekend and take the 4 hour drive over where he promises he'll act as a tour guide to fellow sodbusters Goober and Bill-Don who are wide-eyed at the prospect of seeing a place where what they do isolated on a tractor or out behind the barn is not the exception, but the norm. They've been told a little but not too much; their mentor has them booked into the Bunkhouse. Pouring over the circular ads, they can't wait to see some of the fancy duds shown in the spreads for Suit Up and Packaged Goods! Land o' Goshen!, are there people who actually buy store-bought skivvies instead of making them out of feed sacks?

If you get home and realize that you missed your opportunity to stock up on great underwear at Packaged Goods!, our men's undergarment shop located off the lobby, never fear. Just write to Loveless Motel and include a 10 cent stamp, and we'll send out our latest mail-order catalog.

When booking at Loveless Motel, request a Fireplace Suite. Your new friends will be impressed with your ability to afford such luxury. Every Fireplace Suite comes with a safe, into which you should place your wallet and keys BEFORE you go about selecting new friends to impress

The Mauve Tavern has long been a favorite among our more discerning gentlemen who want to escape the noise and clamor of Smarty Pants Disco. Just enter the disco off the lobby and through the purple swinging doors in the back. Mature men are welcome, and a diverse, quieter crowd ensures a pleasant evening for all. Attire? ...Depends...

This guest wanted his accommodations at Loveless Motel equipped with cooking facilities, and has chosen one of our junior suites with a kitchenette. He likes his morning protein, and a couple quickly fried eggs, over easy, please, are just the ticket. Watch out for spatter! Protect you personal huevos with a pair of well filled Y-front briefs from Packaged Goods!, located off the lobby - safety first! And who knows; he may get a double dose of Sunday morning protein after his first Saturday night with us.

Coming in cooler weather? If you forgot to pack an item, stop by Packaged Goods, our shop for men's undergarments, stocking long johns, union suits, jock straps, boxers, briefs and more, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel.

You might think Loveless Motel guests have a secret handshake greeting. While we can't confirm or deny, what's a little crotch grabbing between new friends?