Find all the porn

"Callum, you're such a gossipy boy. Best of luck, Coach Warner", his gym teacher had written in his senior yearbook. Asked what the Z. stood for for recently, he laughed and said it was his father's little joke - it doesn't stand for anything, but Dad thought it made his name sound funny and would get attention. And so it did. It was certainly better than a boy named "Sue". Like the S in Harry S. Truman does. it adds gravitas, hopefully. Or it makes people laugh when the name is called from an attendance sheet on the first day of typing class. The name Callum Z. Blabber stuck and determined his personality and his career, or so he likes to think. Blabbing pays the bills. Or at least gets him a stipend and a free trailer in Aluminum City. And he meets men - all kinds of men, and they talk to him freely. He came to the job as a last resort, answering to an add in a copy of One magazine, "All-Male Resort Needs Typist", after he had been fired for being caught in town carving a glory hole in the men's room of a local department store next to the newspaper office where he was working, when he had had a rough day covering a flower show where he had been turned down trying to proposition a local florist because he smelled of bourbon and smoke. "I don't care if you're hung like a grandfather clock weight. I don't like rummies or smokers." Fair enough. Callum thought the guy had a nice ass, but a bit too-too la-tee-da, and smelled of cheap perfume - "Evening in Paris" to be precise, which he recognized as something his mother had worn. "Old Spice" would have been the only choice, in his book, even for a bottom. In his interview with Nic the Senior Manager of Loveless Motel, after being satisfied with his credentials, Nic asked if he had a boyfriend, and removing the cigarette from his mouth, Callum said that he had; He still carries the picture of the man which was a private joke between them, of Jimmy eating a banana when he came home from work for a quick midweek outing at the lake outside of town. Jimmy was a very agile circus side show contortionist who was gone half of the year, who died during a break at home in a freak accident when he tripped over Callum's typewriter which had been left on the floor of the basement rumpus room. He'd come down to turn off the TV which was announcing the end of the broadcast day, playing the national anthem, followed by the sound of the mono-tonal test pattern siren blaring up through the air vent in the bedroom which was so loud he came dashing down the stairs, annoyed, into the dimly lit room, cursing, tripped, knocked over a bottle of bourbon, and hit his head on the hard corner of the portable TV before he could even turn it off. Callum was passed out on the couch and slept through the entire ordeal, barely enduring the shock of discovery when he groggily came too as the first blast of strong sunlight shot through the little garden level basement window, and once accustomed to the light, Jimmy's limp body appeared in terrible, detailed focus. "Son of a bitch," Nic said, commiserating, his eyes downcast, his head bobbing from side to side as if he were witnessing some invisible tennis match on the floor between his widely spread legs, then lifting his head and smiling warmly at Callum blurted out "You're hired! - do you want a trailer?" All men come to Loveless single. "Fraternization and fucking with staff and guests is fine, but no lovey-dovey crap," Nic maintains. "Leave that for the guests." "Yes, I'll take the job, and the trailer, and please call me Cal." Cal's a bit more careful these days - he's laid off the sauce but can't kick the coffin nails. He fits right in with most of the staff in that respect - half his waking hours are spent with a lung dart between his lips and he's even discovered the joy of the candy cigarettes at Hit and Split, which he uses as breath mints, right before any interview. And he'll stop and nothing, and go absolutely anywhere, to get a good story to inform and remind guests, new and returning, about Loveless Motel. He's eager to hear and tell about the stories that come out of now-open Nutbush Campground.

Yesterday was the big day - Loveless Motel has been working for months creating a campground to expand its spring, summer and fall accommodations and despite a forecast of rain, the big parade started off at the Motorpool, as promised. Hard Tack manager Will U Bonus kilted up to pipe the assembled crowd into the campground, the parade winding down past the Bunkhouse, through the newly constructed archway. On the shores of the campground swimming hole, a lone player answers Will's call. A drum and brass trio escorted a solid line of VW campers through the Nutbush Campground arch, and the day was off to a perfect start.

The soft opening of Nutbush Campground is being conducted by the current class of interns of Loveless Motel Internship Program. Their graduation contingent on successfully completing a group challenge, they're tasked with venturing out onto the nearly complete Nutbush Campground and finding a tent site. They must scout out sites anywhere on the property, vast by any measure, and lay claim to the perfect spot. Several site styles have been constructed, including full hookup, partial hookup, and "rustic" sites which have absolutely no amenities, relying on a camper's skills to survive in the wild (or more likely what they will chose because it's all they can afford). Interns are scouting the "rustic" variety, hiking to a spot and pitching a tent, where-ever. These gents decided on the rock pictured above, agreeing, to a man, that it would provide a nice solid floor and drainage in the event of rain. Never fucking mind that you can't drive a stake into a rock.

One of our booking agents in the phone room at Loveless Motel reports an anxious guest has lodged a complaint, and the conversation went like this: Agent: Good morning - let's plan your next vacation! What are you wearing? Caller: What do you mean, what am I wearing? Who cares what I'm wearing. There's a naked man in my kitchen cabinet, and I am afraid for my life, and for the safety of my canned fruit! Agent: Well, how did that happen? Have you called your local police? That sounds quite concerning. Perhaps he prefers only fresh fruit. Are then any reports of burglars in your area? Are there any signs he has tampered with your cans or manhandled your Little Debbies? Is he by any chance a missing man? Caller: What the fuck? Missing? No, he's fucking RIGHT HERE! Get security over here right away - I'm in a trailer home on Lovers Lane in Aluminum City...you guys need to take care of this. Agent: Sir, you've called the booking line and I can't tell where you are, except to say that it appears you are calling from an outside line when you call this number. You should have called the front desk. But don't worry. I'll get them on the line right now - can you provide a description of the intruder? Caller: Thank you - he's about 6 foot, slender, well defined, nice smile, blonde, nice bush, 6 cut, asking me if i need anything, deep voice, starting to get har-har-har-har huh-haaaaaaaard-shit, oh my...oh...fuck. Damn. Hold it - hold it hold it... no YES NO yes please YES shit fuck. I'll call ba-ba-ba-back. <CLICK>

Are you a fussy man? Loveless Motel invites you to get your assiduous ass over here, via car, bus, plane, train, bicycle, or banana boat where you can be as fastidious with your fucktool as you want, as long as you eat a good breakfast at one of our fine or fast dining establishments. Call one of our booking agents today, and tell him your looking for a punctilious Pogue with a tight puckerhole who wants to see your big banana and show you how to peel it. And as always, your agent will start the conversation with "Welcome to Loveless Motel - what are you wearing?" Rates may apply. o wants to see your big banana and show you what he can do with it.

Loveless Motel has retained the legal firm, Pounds, Butts, and Bates, LLC, to take action against Uranus Walls, Inc, ("Your solution for an interior that's out of this world"), for the unflattering job they did recently in the reception area of Nic the Senior Manager's new office expansion. Exhibit A, the documentary photograph taken by Shutter Bug Camera Shop photographer Snap Wadmacher of Nic's buddy Irving, who is supervising the landscaping job being completed for the registration area of Nutbush Campground, illustrates Nic's complaint. "It's obvious that whoever put this crap up was drunk. I didn't pay for remnants. Nothing matches, and it looks like it was installed with a welding torch. This all needs to be removed. We need to get someone in here who can demonstrate the meaning of well hung." Barristers Pounds and Butts have suggested a loose compensation arrangement, while Bates offers a completely different solution taking a firm hand and a good grip on the situation, milking it for all it's worth and as a result, Nic has said it he feels like he's getting jerked around and screwed, and says he won't stand for it. Irving just rolled his big brown eyes.

Happy Easter from Loveless Motel!

A group of men loitering around the Laundry Room, sucking cock and petting a pussy, have caused a serious accident with a guest who has come in to check on the status of his load. Continual warnings coupled with outright willful defiance of simple rules haven't done the job. The Board, at the suggestion of Nic the senior manager, has decided to close The Laundry Room, and redesign the 8 Ball Bar, prompting its closure as well. Guests will be given the option to have their laundry done by staff when we do our sheets, or have it collected and sent into town for dry cleaning, all at the expense of guests who my be entirely innocent and obey posted rules. Watch this space for a permanent solution, despite the evidence presented by guests to our establishment that "this is why we just can't have nice things." In the meantime, remember our motto: "Safety begins with thee and me". The Hoosegow and the dispensary will be busy tonight. We have sent an internal memo to all staff members, including Certified Hustlers, reinforcing our belief that pussies get you into all kinds of bad trouble, and we have notified a guest that his cat escaped the Cat Show debacle, though it is still at large, and was last seen running in the direction of the soon-to-open Nutbush Campground.

Responding to an ad in our circular, these four gents, occasional repeat guests from Schenectady, New York, have sent an application and been approved to be in the big Nutbush Camp Ground Opening Day Parade and Celebration at Loveless Motel. The parade will queue up in the Motorpool parking lot, winding its way through the property, leading interested guests past the 8 Ball Bar and Bunkhouse, up the road past The Stables, through the camp ground gate to the communal campfire area where participants will provide demonstrations and entertainment. These fellows claim they are acrobats, aggressive and skilled at a number of feats which will leave the crowd stunned, during which they intend to invite cooperative and openminded volunteers from the audience who will be eager to lie there and t̶a̶k̶e̶ i̶t̶ (respond) to a few c̶o̶m̶m̶a̶n̶d̶s̶ (suggestions). The quartet of junior factory managers has been practicing the concept on a collection of local h̶u̶s̶t̶l̶e̶r̶s̶ (GE union workers) who needed ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶s̶h̶. (a financial cushion to tide them over during the recent labor strikes), A few surprises are promised.

. A recent Help Wanted ad in one of the manly magazines sold at After Midnight Arcade yielded unexpected results. There are still a few prospective campsites which, having been cleared of timber, now need to have the remaining stumps removed by grinding them down, and the only man in town known to grind stumps lost his equipment in a poker game and his main grind, the amputee postwoman, an Armenian immigrant named Aznef Bizdikian, dumped him for a ventriloquist with a lisp- hence the ad was placed in hopes more exposure would net results. Here are a few of the most interesting candidates. See if you can spot the man that's sure to have a leg up.

Loveless Motel has placed this note on your door this morning because we expect things to be a bit windy today. We recommend not going out during the morning hours, and as a safety precaution, all patio furniture has been temporarily stored until after the dinner hour.

After Midnight Arcade has the newest issue of the Advocate available - just ask for the latest February issue, and while there, pick up a few back issues! Right now you can get the July 1979 issue at half off and entertain yourself with George Mazzei's article "Who's Who in the Zoo" with great illustrations by Advocate cartoonist Gerard Donelon, whose work we excerpt here. We've seen a few of these burly, furry creatures here latel and a few were observed skinny dipping recently - a misapplied name for an activity which doesn't quite cover these men, literally or figuratively speaking. It appears they would make a downright acceptable solution to those cold nights we've been having. Looks like we have a winner in the "Give me another gay label" contest. Bear meat, anybody?

Snap Wadmacher - still standing! Mr. Dick Gee, Loveless Motel's resident hair burner, of Mr. Dick Gee's Hair and Now, (located off the lobby) informs us that his brother stayed briefly last week at the invitation of Snap Wadmacher, roving photographer of Shutter Bug Camera Shop. Dick had shared that his brother, Mr. Solo Generosamente, needed two things during his visit: a haircut and a professional photo session to have a series of pictures available for placing an ad in a lonely hearts publication in his home city. The resemblance is uncanny between Dick and his sibling; they certainly have the same hair - and as for other attributes, Dick tells us that his own moniker is a sobriquet - and quite a "handle" it is, so we hear. Snap has loaned a few pics for us to publish, with the permission of Solo, who has also agreed to his insertion into a souvenir calendar at an as yet unannounced date. Solo had remained holed up in his room during his stay, only seeing Dick and Snap, and asked that the calendar not be published until he had left Loveless Motel. Asked why Dick thought Solo even needed to advertise, he said his brother has trouble fitting in and he just wants guys to know what they're in for in advance. In other news, Snap Wadmacher informs us he is taking the week off, and will be recuperating from a recent physically taxing ordeal, while mostly in a standing position.

In honor of Chinese New Year, some of the units in Aluminum City have been upgraded with new red carpeting and a stunning Chinoiserie hand carved rosewood chair with dragon handles; a souvenir teal colored enameled floor ash tray will be offered as a gift to the first 20 lodgers to book the units. These same units have had their wall paneling re-lacquered in a durable lead-based formula and an exciting shade created specifically for Loveless Motel called "Monkey Jungle Taupe." In an alarming effort to offer an experience consistent with the theming of our little Aluminum City hutong, "Forbidden (Fruit) City", an "edict" from Nic, the senior manager will be handed to any qualifying lodgers via an unexpected knock on the unit door, dictating that men staying in these units must either have fully developed facial hair, or be clean shaven - nothing in-between, and therefore will have to have their nascent facial hair forcibly removed in a sudden visit from Dick Gee, our resident stylist and proprietor of Mr. Dick Gee's Hair and Now, located off the lobby. Tickets to these surprise pop-up events can be purchased by interested onlookers at the front desk 30 minutes prior to each "home invasion" with all ticket-holding participant-voyeurs being asked to play the part of "angry villagers"

Hard has he might try, he's distracted: being staff writer/publicist chronicling the antics of our lodgers at Loveless Motel can be tough, especially when he's temporarily displaced from his room because his traveling buddy decided to have an all day orgy and he has a deadline. The punters want their tall tales and dirty gossip, and it's already fucking Wednesday. But what's he doing typing? He should have stayed for the fun, and chalked it up to "research".

Despite the best efforts of our Intern Onboarding classes and instructors, sometimes a candidate just doesn't work out. Experience tells us that we really have to watch it when tapping blondes for our programming. A prime example is seen here; a classic difference between the literal and the figurative. Never tell a blonde already struggling with basic concepts to "get a move on" - that structure is going nowhere. Luckily, we have a successful offboarding process in which a man can work off the time and money we have spent on him, and he'll have a choice of joining the housekeeping staff until his debt is paid, or becoming a Certified Hustler (pending the outcome of a rigorous interview process), in which case his debt may be forgiven, or reduced.

We regret to inform those of you who've been waiting to check in by our promised 3 PM time, that due to a shortage of staff in housekeeping, as well as training issues, rooms will be assigned upon arrival but actual occupancy of rooms will be delayed until 7 PM today. Existing staff is working feverishly to clear the rooms, but the lack of domestic talent is made obvious by this documentary photo, indicating that when ironing linens, it does help to put the plug into a wall outlet. Inconvenienced guests will receive a 10 percent discount on one meal in any of our restaurants.

Recent events have forced the management team to seek the services of an investigative professional. Crime is on the rise at Loveless Motel, as evidenced by this candid shot of a perpetrator fleeing the scene, thought to be a possible jockstrap thief, caught on celluloid by ace Shutter Bug Camera Shop photographer "Snap" Wadmacher, who just happened to be in the right place at the right time (so he says).Therefore, effective immediately we announce we are taking applications to fill the position of a Hotel Dick, to receive a generous compensation package with dental benefits, and a Bank of America Christmas Club account, as well as private living quarters at Aluminum City (if so desired). The successful applicant who declines the living quarters will not be further compensated to offset the cost of seeking accommodations elsewhere. With the sudden uptick of petty crimes being committed against the business and guests, time is of the essence in filling the position. In-person interviews will be conducted after a review of mailed applications. Good luck to all the aspiring Dicks out there!

Busy night last night? Dick on your breath the morning after and you can't find your toothbrush? Call the front desk, young man, and we'll deliver, free of charge on most items such as toothbrushes, and only a slight cost to headache powders and other medicinal over the counter items like Ex Lax, or Pepto Bismol, or douche bags.

Don't be the guy who's embarrassed at the crucial moment when he says "Get those legs up in the air!" Loveless Motel has the solution: let our popular yoga instructor, Mr. Stretch N. Spreadam teach you how to attain the most complicated positions with ease. Meet Stretch on the pool deck every odd calendar day, and in the evenings at Ticklers Lounge where he is a bar back

For those guests in units with kitchens or kitchenettes, upon arrival stop by Hit and Split, the convenience store located off the lobby at Loveless Motel. You'll find most popular staples here, at prices calculated to keep us in business for a long time. Enjoy your stay! This guest has apparently not read the resort rules. In his haste to stock up for his stay on the very first day, he has jumped the gun. Hit and Split is one of the few places at Loveless where nudity is not allowed. Hopefully he doesn't get caught, but our clerk, Frank Lee Famischtaggen seems not to mind, and can we really blame him? Yes - we can.