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RubItOutSanta.mp4 Every year we drop hints regarding who will be hiding under the beard a Santa for the Christmas Show at Footlight Fairies Cabaret, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel. Our holiday artist in residence for this year is shown below. His reputation precedes him (by about 8 inches) and he'll be holing up for the holidays at Aluminum City. All you holes can start lining up to sit on his special lap on December 20th. Extra charges may apply.

The possibilities are endless at Loveless Motel. The area between the Silver Bullet Bar and The Stables is a guest favorite for good old fashioned outdoor cruising in the woods. That guy you were eyeing last night at dinner, 3 tables over in Birdwhistle's Tearoom (located off the lobby) is suddenly right in front of you, and after oh-so-brief small talk ("Weren't you at Birdwhistle's Tearoom last night?" "Yeah but I left before dessert"), he's on his knees, asking for dessert. He's looking up at you, his mouth stuffed, while you guide him and keep him focused with your hand on the back of his head. And you're drawing an audience...

In an odd twist of fate, Paul, the blind piano player who plays nearly every night at Tickler's Lounge, the piano bar located off the lobby at Loveless Motel, has been sidelined for a week. A certified hustler with a questionable sense of humor who was visiting his room told heavily inebriated Paul that a waffle iron was in fact a hand warmer, and consequently our musician has square burn marks on the palm and several fingers of his right hand. As luck would have it, Paul's pal Lee has just begun a two week vacation in 3 bedroom luxury trailer at Aluminum City, and has offered to step in for a few days while Paul recuperates. Some may recognize Lee, who has a reputation among a lucky few for having beefy thighs that could crack walnuts, but we ask patrons to respect the privacy of our guests who are generally here incognito to experience some of the resort's more earthly delights

One of our staff members in a recent employee confab recently related how he drinks carrot juice because it sweetens his spunk. Several in the meeting said they could personally attest to this phenomenon, and the result is that The Tubs has added a new health bar called "Juices" - and carrots are definitely menu favorites. Located in the two-level basement of the Bunkhouse, The Tubs features a waterfall, maze, private and public fun rooms, and a mix of men from Townies to military men, truckers, and even staff members taking a break from their normal daily grind. grinding their juices as often as they can. Juices is on the lower level.

Pocket Pool Fondling your cock and balls while your hands are inserted into your pants pockets -1930s- "I love to walk into mattress shops and ask salesmen to explain to me the merits of one type over another, looking him straight in in the eye while vigorously playing pocket pool, and watching his reaction"

The Board of Directors of the Love-Whistle Inc. has decided to keep Loveless Motel Senior Manager Nic, recognizing all his hard work. Nic, a definite ass man who loves to fuck it and have his eaten, has asked one of his current favorite interns to his suite to help him celebrate by showing the boss some gratitude. Psycho Randy and Snap Wadmacher helped film the party.

After the debacle of the drunken Christmas Card scandal, it seems the word has gotten out at Loveless Motel, and guests are requesting pictures of themselves posing in front of the tree in the lobby. Photo sessions are allowed only between the hours of 3 AM and 5 AM when the exterior lobby doors are locked. "Snap" Wadmacher, ace inhouse photographer at Shutterbug Camera Shop says his index finger is sore from all the extra action it's been seeing lately. Here's and example of the result: Calvin is currently staying in room 222 and has offered to provide "Snap" with something else to do with his finger.

One of our guests called and spoke to an Assistant Manager on a sensitive matter after receiving this postcard in the mail. On further investigation, it's been discovered that our Senior Manager, Nic, and front desk clerk Psycho Randy got drunk with "Snap" Wadmacher, the photographer at Shutterbug Camera Shop, and during a lull at 3am in the morning decided to take a picture of the Christmas Tree in the lobby and print 75 copies to be sent as Christmas Cards to many of our new and returning guests. The caller complained that his wife opened the card. Nic claims he had no idea that the post cards were made, and that he thought they were just doing the picture as a joke. The Loveless-Birdwhistle Corporation dba LoveWhistle Inc. Board of Directors have been notified and an ongoing investigation is ensuing.

Canned Fruit A homosexual who hides his sexuality from all but his closest associates -1950s- "I'm going to open a new account at First National Bank today - I'm skipping the free toaster offer, and I'm gonna look that new teller straight in the eye and tell him I'd rather have the canned fruit."

Returning guests know that Loveless Motel pulls out all the stops for its annual poolside Christmas Pageant, This year is no exception. Interns have been busy with just oodles of pink tule to make Santa's reindeer appear as though they are floating on clouds of cotton candy. Our fella on the far side of the pool in the middle is poised to plug in the Christmas Star, and we hope he doesn't fall in! How shocking would that be?! Don't try this at home.

Nic - the Senior Operations Manager Taylor from Dallas - Junior Manager Rock Blockhead - Construction Projects and Property Manager Harry Biggerstaff - House Detective Biff Wellington – Head Chef at Birdwhistle’s Tearoom Psycho Randy - Desk clerk on the day shift Dr. John Long - retained seasonally as a medical doctor Officer Dick - inhouse security and law enforcement professional Sheriff Buck N. McBuff - custodian of The Hoosegow Uncle Joe - Intern training facilitator and chief disciplinarian Jack Leyendecker - Intern recruiter and summer talent scout Luke Atma Peterson - Intramural Sports Coach Stretch N. Spreadam - yoga instructor Billy Swallows - Manager of Suit Up Dante' DeWitt - Assistant manager of Suit Up Hardly N. Uphatal - Suit Up salesman Will U. Bonus - Manager of Hard Tack General Store Mr. Dick Gee - contracted operator of Hair and Now Salon "Snap" Wadmacher - roving photographer Frank - model for hire at Shutter Bug Camera Shop Paul - the blind piano player at Tickler's Lounge Buster - Room service waiter Roger - Jack of all trades Dick Blunt - tobacconist at Blunt Smoke Shop and Lottery Tickets Martin Cox - pool boy, aka pulp novel writer Hardy Rider

Contrary to the rules, a guest was caught shopping nude at Hit and Split, the convenience store off the lobby at Loveless Motel. Guests are reminded that the store and the lobby (and the parking lot during daylight hours) are the only places nudity is not allowed at the resort, because they have outside entrances easily accessed by the general public. Flagrant disregard of the rules will land you a night in the Hoosegow, the detention center located at the Bunkhouse, where just about anything might happen, at the discretion of the staff of the facility.

The winter class of interns has arrived at Loveless Motel and is now training for 2 weeks in the Grab Basket Conference Room, located off the lobby. Our instructor's a hands on guy who will take a personal interest in the progress of each of these men who are eager to learn the ins and outs of the hospitality industry.

Stop over to Toys for Boys, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel, for a demonstration of the newest item in our toybox, "The Intruder". Every purchase comes with a jar of lube and a smile. You may choose to be the subject or the object of the demonstration. Absolutely no refunds.

Carwash Doing it in a car because neither party has a better place to go for sex -1960s-"Backseat Betty's tricks drive him to an alley three blocks from the bar for a quick carwash, and then comes back to the bar and spends the cash he made on more beer. It's a real racket - wash, rinse, repeat."

Now that you've booked your Christmas Holiday at Aluminum City Trailer Park at Loveless Motel, call and reserve the perfect modern tree for the holidays. You can have the tree waiting and decorated just prior to your arrival, or you can have one of our handymen set it up once you get here. Call now - availability is limited.

Destined to become a classic, this chronicle of trailer life right here at our very own Aluminum City at Loveless Motel is now on sale at After Midnight Arcade, located off the lobby. Lurid encounters, anonymous sex, what men do together after dark, and in broad daylight! It's all here, waiting to titillate your imagination with loads of excitement

Mr. Billy Swallows and his assistant Dante' DeWitt have told us they have a new shipment of sweaters for the cool weather. Suit Up, the mens' atelier at Loveless Motel, is located off the lobby. This graphic example should prove to be one of the season's most popular.

Literally, these guys just can't wait to get to Loveless. The whole point of the trip was privacy, a pool, sauna, new friends, new experiences, but it looks like car head is inevitable, and that 2 night room guarantee deposit is non-refundable. Fuel is not cheap this year at 65 cents a gallon. And deposits, as it turns out, cum in all kinds of flavors

Guests making their way over to the Motor Pool at Loveless Motel will find that the garage closes down at 7PM and is dedicated to an alcohol-free play zone, under the supervision of the Head Mechanic and chief hose handler, "Sparky" McMasterson. Admission is free, and Sparky says no one leaves without being glad he came.

Our Footlight Fairies Cabaret inhouse band, The Fab Four, are shown here in a practice session in the sub-basement of the Bunkhouse (also known as The Tubs). These guys can make all the racket they want down there, and have an agreement with the manager to whom they have made a promise that no one will get shocked, with only a slight fear that the humidity from the indoor waterfall might cause an electric shock. The band reports "so far so good" and has gained a number of fans who are regular patrons of The Tubs. "The Fab Four" can be seen every weekend at the Footlight Fairies Cabaret, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel

At Loveless Truckstop Cafe', one of the waiters' favorite welcome line as he seats guests is "Coffee, Tea or me?" It's pretty much a smackdown challenge, especially when "me" is the choice. We'll have "me" for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, please! And put a head on it! This technique has been so popular that a new menu item has been added, and you can get the same dish if you order the Spit-roast Spring Chicken.

At Loveless Truckstop Cafe', customer satisfaction is king. Whether you have wandered over to the cafe' from Loveless Motel or from Aluminum City Trailer Court, or just pulled into the parking lot with your big rig, getting your order quickly and just the way you like it is the goal. How do you like your meat?

Gorilla Salad Thick, dark, hairy pubes -1960s- "I like the guy, but ever time we're together, I spend 2 days with a toothpick getting out all that gorilla salad stuck in my teeth"

Popular Aluminum City trailer homes at Loveless Motel include contemporary Naugahyde furnishings which are easily wiped off, reducing the chance of additional cleaning charges that may be levied after your stay. So feel free to let yourself go in these units, though we advise against getting anything on the highly absorbent wood paneling in many of our tin can units.