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Don't be the guy who's embarrassed at the crucial moment when he says "Get those legs up in the air!" Loveless Motel has the solution: let our popular yoga instructor, Mr. Stretch N. Spreadam teach you how to attain the most complicated positions with ease. Meet Stretch on the pool deck every odd calendar day, and in the evenings at Ticklers Lounge where he is a bar back

What's a couple to do on a night when it's not clicking! The office received a call at 11PM 2 nights ago and the man in 222 said he and his boyfriend were looking for someone tall, dark and well hung. Management swung into action and contacted one of our well qualified and approved Certified Hustlers who rooms with several others over at Aluminum City, and voila, problem solved. What good is sitting alone in your room? Loveless Motel always has a solution. Our Hustler remarked to management the next day that the new paneling in the room looked stunning

Excavations are continuing on Nutbush Campground out behind Aluminum City. Guest interest has piqued when it was rumored that big bones were being talked about in relation to the work crew seen accessing the property in the early morning hours. A few of the men have apparently been seen using the urinals and stalls at Loveless Truck Stop, spending a little more time than is necessary for just pissing. But in fact, the biggest news is that a REALLY big bone has been found while clearing a wooded area for a picnic pavilion at the campground. A local amateur paleontologist and weekend ossuarian tells us that we have found a dinosaur bone millions of years old and as big as a man! We are currently in discussions about what to do with it. Options from displaying it in the lobby to cutting it into small bits and selling them as souvenirs, with engravings such as "I got boned at Loveless Motel" have been discussed. Also on the list of possibilities is to have rubber facsimiles made to be sold at Toys for Boys, located off the lobby.

In the spirit of continually offering new experiences for our guests, and in keeping with our roots, going back to the hunting lodge first built by founders Edgar Loveless and Sinjin Birdwhistle, Loveless Motel announces commencement of the construction of Nutbush Campground at Loveless Motel. Crews are hard at work, and despite that perpetual priapic state, they are still getting a lot done, and with our temperate winter weather, we project an opening date of early spring. Located in the rustic area just beyond the back of Aluminum City, and roughly adjacent to the area of The Stables and the Silver Bullet Bar, the project will complete the vision of fun in the outdoors, including cabins, tent sites, and plenty of nature trails, as well as a camp store, communal showers and latrines.

Bona Dish In the British secret gay language Polari Bona=Good Dish=Ass "Nice Ass" -1960s-

A frequent guest of Loveless Motel for many years, Mr. Will U. Bonus has agreed to enter into a contractual arrangement with the firm as Manager of Hard Tack General Store, the second hand cowboy and leather boutique adjacent to the Bunkhouse. In his capacity as manager of that facility, he'll also take on the task of wrangling the work-release program, mentoring men who have been contingently released from the Hoosegow in order to repay their debt to Loveless Motel. Will's credentials include nearly making it through Wharton's School of the University of Pennsylvania, and having been the accountant of a moderately sized used furniture store which released him from its staff due to an unjustified accusation of mishandling estate sales, in particular those of elderly widowed men with sizable endowments (in the bank). "I just love the get and give of mentorship," says Will, after a week on the job. The Management of Loveless Motel congratulates Mr. Bonus on his appointment.

Manager Will U. Bonus "If you plan to shoplift, let us know" Hard Tack General Store at Loveless Motel tells us they have just received a good quantity of freshly laundered jock straps and denim jeans in several sizes. Hard Tack specializes in used cowboy, denim, uniform and leather gear, often left behind by guests, consigned, or purchased in the local town. Our work-release program offers gainful employment to those errant men who have been released from the Hoosegow where they've spent time for breaking the rules of our establishment, and some of the gents acquire a work ethic and personal polish which allows them to graduate into our Certified Hustler program. Stop by Hard Tack General Store for the best in personal service and merchandise selection. Manager Will U. Bonus is eager to personally see to each customer's needs, and guides the progress of his work-release charges with a firm hand.

Guests of the Bunkhouse have been lodging complaints for a few days now regarding stolen jock straps and jeans that have gone missing when using the communal showers there. Cowboys over at The Stables can really work up a sweat what with showing city boys the ropes and all, and it's just a natural thing for a cowboy to want to lather up with his buds while hanging his duds in a place they ought to be secure. The mystery is deepened and particularly concerning, as some of the cowboys have been working on ripening their jocks for months, and the prospect of going into town looking for new jockstraps doesn't thrill anyone except maybe the salesmen in the JCPenney or Sears men's clothing departments, though some of the cowboys don't complain too much if they get hold of a townie who wants to provide a personal fitting.

In a surprise overnight freeze in normally temperate January at Loveless Motel, the pipes in the poorly insulated laundry room have burst, and one of the washers froze mid-cycle, loaded with jockstraps and denim. As a result, management is taking bids for the job in a one-day frenzy of interviews. May the best plumber win! As an aside, the collector whose jocks were frozen admits to a confidant that instead of his disco outfit, he mistakenly put his entire piss-and-cum-stained haul into the wash, thereby ruining the intrinsic value of the collection, rendering it worthless as sniff-bate material. He relates that he had spent days raiding the locker room of the Bunkhouse and had some prize specimens that were still damp from recently ejaculated spooge and drip. "But I look on the bright side," he said; "I'm here for another week, and as long as I don't get caught there's plenty more where they came from"

New Year's Eve this year included a stellar lineup of coverboys, flesh fantasies, D list opera singers, and Mariachi rockers. Who could ask for anything more at Footlight Fairies Cabaret, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel. In related news, one performer expired (luckily off stage and after his performance) of lead poisoning due to an overapplication of metallic makeup, and the audience was so blitzed that the sound of an arriving ambulance was assumed to be just part of the show at neighboring Smarty Pants Disco.

Our Certified Hustlers currently outnumber the number of guests, now that the Holiday Rush is over, and it's the perfect time to have your pick of one or more of these hard drivers who will ram your goals to the wall and make them stick, cramming home their full support and smashing any doubts that you might have that you chose the right thing to work on, over and over and over again. Call the front desk at Loveless Motel and pack your calendar today.

Head over to Hit and Split for this year's edition of Loveless Motel Christmas Cards - a box of 25 is only $1.50! We recommend sending them to the friends of those you are crossing off your list this year due to some minor personal infraction, and signing each one "XOXO - Guess Who!"

The management and staff of Loveless Motel, Aluminum City, Loveless Truck Stop, and The Bunkhouse all wish you a happy and prosperous New Year~

Margo Polo Camp designation for any Italian gay man -1960s- "I'll just never understand why that Margo Polo is a bottom. What a waste of 8 inches of Italian sausage!"

At Loveless Motel, the guy you eyed across the dancefloor last night is describing in detail how his morning is going. The party-line is hopping this morning, and there are even a few familiar voices. Nic, a senior manager, is also in on the fun. If your verbal skills are a bit rusty, or you're a bit of a novice, you can take Nic's class, held on any rainy Tuesday in the Grab-Basket Conference Room, entitled "Talking Dirty is My Second Most Favorite Anonymous Thing To Do"

Our doorman and chief towel attendant at The Tubs in the basement of the Bunkhouse at Loveless Motel reports that several men have checked in wearing roller skates, and according to some, they received them as gifts for Christmas. The trend has apparently caught on after guests witnessing waiters at Loveless Truck Stop who wear them as an efficiency measure. The management is keeping a watchful eye on the situation, and effective immediately, all guests of The Tubs in skates or not must sign a safety waiver, holding harmless Loveless Motel, its management and staff, in the event of any mishap has a result of being rolled.

In a special arrangement through Shutter Bug Camera Shop, Loveless Motel Hit and Split convenience store, located off the lobby, now has a limited number of Christmas Balls featuring photos of some of your favorite Certified Hustlers. See Psycho Randy at the front desk if you would like to book a time to admire a real set of balls of one of our many Certified Hustlers.

It just goes to show you - If it's not one thing, it's another. If something can go wrong, it will go wrong. When it rains it pours. As soon as the leak in the grotto pool at The Tubs was fixed, the water heater on the second floor of the Bunkhouse at Loveless Motel exploded, flooding part of the kitchen at Malamute Saloon. Crews are feverishly working to have things ready to go for New Year's Eve, working 24 hours, round the clock. It's been noticed that some of the workers are a little older, and on the evening shift they are liable to take more breaks, and the construction crew foreman believes in rewarding the men for their hard work. It just goes to show you - If you suck it, they will cum.

Some of you may remember our pool boy, Martin Cox is actually well-known pulp fiction writer Hardy Rider, also known for his other attributes/ Now that the summer is over and the pool is closed for the season (with the exception of the festive flotilla now on display throughout the holiday season), our local bard has time to conduct research for his upcoming project, as yet untitled, but his promise of a turgid encounter or two, followed by true love, embezzlement, murder, and workplace drama, murder, or some such device, to get a rise out of his reading public. Look for a new title and book signing right here at Loveless Motel sometime in the spring. Not that the book takes that long to write, but appointments for research volunteers are heavy, and Hardy says research is already draining. Our intramural coach, Luke Atma Peterson, has offered to help lighten the load by conducting interviews as a result of any overflow.

Eclair Queen A rich homosexual -1960s- "There goes a real eclair queen. He has his own pool! Can you just imagine the parties?!"

For those guests in units with kitchens or kitchenettes, upon arrival stop by Hit and Split, the convenience store located off the lobby at Loveless Motel. You'll find most popular staples here, at prices calculated to keep us in business for a long time. Enjoy your stay! This guest has apparently not read the resort rules. In his haste to stock up for his stay on the very first day, he has jumped the gun. Hit and Split is one of the few places at Loveless where nudity is not allowed. Hopefully he doesn't get caught, but our clerk, Frank Lee Famischtaggen seems not to mind, and can we really blame him? Yes - we can.

In an exciting development, 5 of our suites are now equipped with brand new twin Barca Loungers, and fabulous Hammond Organs! These special accommodations can be booked by calling our waiting phone room staff members, who, as you know, always answer the phone with the musical greeting, "Welcome to Loveless Motel - what are you wearing?". We've also contracted the services of Ethel "Play the white keys, honey" Smith who will be allegedly entertaining on Saturday afternoons at Tickler's Lounge, coming out of retirement for a 12 week engagement, and can entertain you ensuite for a modest charge in these specially decorated rooms. Ethel wishes all to know that her well-publicized recent shock treatments have done a world of good, and have nearly perfectly restored her hearing loss and balance issues. All Barca/Hammond suites are situated at least 5 doors away from each other so as not to have situations in which the noise of organs being worked over simultaneously creates unwanted dissonance.

Guests at Loveless Motel are invited annually to decorate their room doors and may purchase various holiday decor, including popular Christmas trees and decorative balls at Hit and Split, our convenience store located off the lobby. Too busy to decorate it yourself? Hire one of our staff members to attend to your specific requests.

The waterfall at the Tubs in the basement of The Bunkhouse has been temporarily shut off for a couple days to repair a leak in the grotto pool. Contractors have quickly assessed the damage and workers are taking as few breaks as possible to insure the feature is restored to full working capacity in time for the influx of guests expected in the last 2 weeks of the year. Only the most necessary activities of the crew are being sanctioned by the management. When Nic, Loveless Motel Senior manager called the contractor's office and told the secretary "We've gotta leak in our basement", she replied, "Go ahead, sir - it's your basement!" She's been replaced by a promising young intern sent over my Nic.

RubItOutSanta.mp4 Every year we drop hints regarding who will be hiding under the beard a Santa for the Christmas Show at Footlight Fairies Cabaret, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel. Our holiday artist in residence for this year is shown below. His reputation precedes him (by about 8 inches) and he'll be holing up for the holidays at Aluminum City. All you holes can start lining up to sit on his special lap on December 20th. Extra charges may apply.