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Wanking Disasters


suncoastboi

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Sterilise My Brain

 

LOL - What a fantastic image, calmly stirring your brain in a boiling pot of water - not questioning how this is at all possible... ha ha

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You guys are crazy!

 

Time for my story - and yes this is a true blue getting caught story.

 

My door doesn't have a lock on it and I was beating off - luckily using my imagination as stimulation and not any of my porn...

 

Anyway my mom keeps calling me and I'm hoping that by not answering she'll figure I'm asleep. However the woman refuses to be denied and comes into my room and turns on my light to wake me up to ask me some dumbass question. I guess I didn't do too well of acting like I was sleep, I still had my glasses on mind you, so she looks at me kind of weird and then grabs my sheets and pulls it back!!!

 

Thank GOD I wasn't boned! So she sees my soft thing-a-ling just laying on my abdomen and goes, "Are you playing with yourself?" LoL I played it off nonchalantly though and kind of implied that I suspected she did something of the sort and she laughed and said Never.

 

She basically went out of my room sort of laughing at me and kind of embarassed for me I think. While I am a bit upset she grabbed my fucking covers :diablo: she never really made fun of me for it or anything - which is defiantely cool.

 

There...that's my story.

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Guest Jimbo66

WOAH...I would die if my mom pulled my sheets off

 

Thank goodness my mother wouldn't ever do that, but yea...moms seem to have the tendency to just walk in without knocking :(

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Guest slave2

wow, I just watched the movie called Kinsey. The hangups and secret sex stuff people stress with, adios mio!

 

Oh when my dad remarried we couldn't afford a large house, so i shared a room with my step sister, 2 years younger. My dad built a partition, but if my stepsister leaned on the window sill she could see in my half. I found out she watched me jerk off, at least once at night after bedtime, maybe more. I hope the room was extra dark that night (moonless?)

 

I've been sensitive ever since LOL.

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Guys.. guys... are these really the most embarrasing things you've ever experienced ?

 

Geez.. I'd better not join in.

 

My stories include my mother catching me watching a gay porno without me knowing about it until the next day(think about it) :blush: and an overnight stay in hospital one time.. (revolves around an unmentionable substance and a renegade dildo) :blush: :blush:

 

And I mean :blush: :blush:

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Sorry cool_a but you cannot leave us in suspenders here

 

you gotta tell the whole stories bud

 

what the hell is a renegade dildo

 

Picturing a dildo dressed as rambo :P

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Guest paf

this isn't exactly masturbating...

 

but i wonder, as an adult, now that i know my parents suspected i was gay but did not say anything, what they heard from my room next to theirs when i had my best friend sleep over at the time.

 

:lol:

 

i can't even imagine the conversation.

 

"are they doing what i think they are doing?"

 

"go back to sleep."

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Since :sperm: won't spill, I guess my imagination will have to fill in the blanks to his story. Hmmm a renegade dildo was found in a local boys anus in the (name withheld for protection) hospital today when he allegedly fell asleep in the waiting room. A substance was also found all over the walls and on the boys cheek which is suspected to be :sperm: , but won't be for sure till it is tested. For more details, turn to page 9. :blush: :P I'm just playing cool_a. My mind can drift off sometimes. :rolleyes:

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Cool A, you gotta spill. I'm dying to know how the hospital visit went... and whether the staff was able to act professional the entire time!!!

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Guest Jimbo66

ohh I love storytime! :D

 

::grabs some popcorn and waits for Cool_a in suspense:: :D

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Guest hairlover

I was 13, maybe 14 and had been caught by my older brother.... while using his electrical shaver which I had taken out of his closet... soooooo embarassing.

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@ Hairlover - ha ha - What were you doing with it exactly?

 

I guess it was the kind that buzzes (vibrates) ....

 

Or were you just shaving with it?.. ha ha

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Guest Jimbo66

::runs back in to push WW & Cupster out of the room and then yells::

 

GET YOUR OWN ROOM! :diablo:

 

::sits down and goes back to waiting for Cool_a:: :D

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::Stands outside pantsless and shivering and feelig very remorseful and sorry for himself::

 

sorry..... :(

 

 

I'm pretty sure WW will have flown off in her invisible jet or used her magic Lassoo (Yes we call it a Lassoo in the UK) or done something else wondrous...

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I didn't actually mean what I wrote as a tease. I thought twice about whether I should even mention it.

 

It's........ rather embarrasing and a bit of a turning point in my life.

 

I was home alone for the night, flatmates/roommates out Friday night trolling as usual...

 

A friend had sourced a recreational substance for me. And I had just brought a new little dildo. I had a few porno's from Belami that were such a turn on for me...

 

Before long I was pushing this little dildo as far up my arse as it would go. For 4 to 5 hours I was in heaven. About midnight I came across a bit of a problem. Where had the bloody dildo gone ? I mean.. where was this bastard little thing. Panic, panic, panic.

 

I rang up Accident & Emergency at the public hospital and was told to drive in.

 

First the doctor tried finding it. That hurt. Do you know how many evil little devices a hospital has ! Ever had a doctor basically fist you ? Geezzzzzzzzz.

 

They were organising surgery for me. This damn dildo had left my arse and was progressing up my colon. Now I was an acute, potential renal failure patient. (I was told this situation was dangerous.. it can kill) But.. it was 2am early Saturday morning. The fights and drunken drive accidents were coming in.

 

Can I have some popcorn ? :lol:

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::Passes Cool_a the popcorn...secretly praying he's washed his hands first::

 

Jeez man thats awful (Though it did make me laugh...so they got it out in the end...?)

 

ha ha ha - I never play with my ass, and now I have a bloody good reason not to...

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Guest Jimbo66

::wonders how Cupster got back into the room::

 

Anyways...that did sound very painful....but I giggled a bit just imagining the panic you must have been in when you realized it had disappeared... :)

 

Did you have a hot doctor or nurse, at least?

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::Smirks to self, pleased (And just a bit smug) that Jimbo never mentioned anything about locking the door behind us in the first place::

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Jeez man thats awful (Though it did make me laugh...so they got it out in the end...?)[/b]

 

Cup, your so funny! I hope that's where it came out. I would hate to think otherwise!

 

:P

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::Looks around the room and asks cupster and Jimbo: "Where in hell are my two pink dildos gone to ?"::

 

:ww:

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Guest Peter

So, I'm assuming since you're sitting here today typing your story... they took it out and you're alright... right? :)

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Guest
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