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Wanking Disasters


suncoastboi

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I saw this on a web site (Don't ask) and I thought it was pretty funny, and interesting.

"Ever been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories!"

Anyone got any interesting stories to share? :bananas:

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Not really on topic here, but somewhat related...

 

There is a very hunky, solid-side-of-beef fellow who works out at the gym. His locker is near mine, and he finishes his workout at about the same time I do.

 

Everytime I see him get undressed, and see his ass in that jockstrap- no control at all, even with half a dozen other guys around- I get a hard on. It's impossible to hide that through my towel, so he sees it everytime, as does anyone else around.

 

I am very embarassed- it is difficult for people not to notice a guy in the locker room with a hard-on.....and when I get embarassed, I blush and sweat profusely, making it even more obvious. He is always quite amused by it, and intentionally will tease me- chatting with me, bending over in his jock, stretching.....he always callls me "Rod" (not my first name).......I always correct him...he always smiles and aplogizes, then asks "Why do I keep thinking your name is Rod?".

 

It's kind of cute, but having 6-10 straight men around pretending nervously not to notice that is an experience I can live without. :blush:

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  • Haha 1
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Not a disaster as such (but SO could have been)

 

I once had a wank in the back of the car whilst driving down the motorway

Had stopped at my Aunties and been picked up by the parent modules

 

So I'm sat in the back with a quilt over me and having only recently discovered the joys of onanism decide to have a quick shuffle, I dread to think what would have happened if I had been caught...ooooh how do you explain that one

 

"It's not what you think...My trousers just fell open (Yay, Thanks Rik Mayall) and I got an itch???

erm...etc

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@ cupster

 

You were going at it in the back seat of the car while your parents were driving? :blink:

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Man, your bad cupboard man! I would never dream in a thousand years to do that. You really have to be horny to do that kind of stuff! :drool::

 

um cup, what's that all over the back seat? :shock: :sperm:

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When I was a teen, I was jerking off in my bedroom and apprently I had forgotten to close the drapes. About 10 min later there is a knock on my parents front door. It was a guy who lived further up the hill who's kitchen window looks into my bedroom. His wife was doing dishes and got an eyeful. He was livid and had a long talk with my parents about how depraved I was. My parents found this immensely amusing (they are uber laid back) and it was a real struggle not to laugh in his face and totally lost it once he left. I keep my drapes closed now :)

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The guy was probably mad because you were getting his wife all hot and flustered. He most likely became jealous and that’s why he had to come over and yell at your parents. :lol:

 

One question: Do you ever, or did you ever see these people (husband and wife) later on? I would think that an awkward moment. :shock:

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@ Lorne

 

OMG That is Effing awful, I cannot believe that such a nasty little turd thinks he would have the right to tell you what you can or cannot do IN YOUR OWN HOME!!

 

You should have got it out and given it a tug while he was there...Nobody forced his effing wife to watch

 

Jeez, that has really pissed me off :angry:

 

what a complete arsehole!!

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Guest Jimbo66

arsehold! :lol: if I poke you in the stomach, will you giggle like the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

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No, I never met them again... Thank god as I lived in fear of that happening for several months.

 

The ironic thing is that as we mature it matters less and less. If it happened now, I would appologize but point out exactly what you said cupboardy.

 

Also living in the gay section of the city, you see stuff or much more likely hear stuff a tonne.

 

the couple next door (both male) had some pretty smoking hot sex from the sound of it while my parents and I were eating dinner. Mom asked me if that was the official welcome to davie street.

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the couple next door (both male) had some pretty smoking hot sex from the sound of it while my parents and I were eating dinner. Mom asked me if that was the official welcome to davie street.[/b]

 

:lol: :rofl:

 

You sound like you have really cool parents!!

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Guest BennieBoy
QUOTE(lorne @ Jul 2 2006, 01:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the couple next door (both male) had some pretty smoking hot sex from the sound of it while my parents and I were eating dinner. Mom asked me if that was the official welcome to davie street.
[/b]

:rofl: That's great
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Guest Peter

I was on a tour bus going up to Hue in Vietnam. I hadn't masterbated in about 4 or 5 days and I was soooo desperate, not to mention there were so many cute guys from Belgium, France, and Germany on the bus... for their honeymoon with their wives so I went to the back of the bus, sat down and wanked. Definately nerveracking!

 

But that wasn't as bad as some of the ones I read, oh my god -- getting caught, I can't believe it. What would you say?

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Okay, now that you guys have shared something, I guess it is fair that I do as well. I mean, I'm the one that posted this thing. :P

 

I have never been caught per say in the act openly, but almost came close.

 

I was in the bedroom and I had the T.V. going. I turn the T.V. up as to drown the sounds of me ugh... you know. There I am going at it and one knock at the door and enter my big brother. I was under the blankets at the time (thank goodness). I don't really remember what he came in there for, but I just told him I was waking up and about to get dressed. Too close a call imo. From then on I usually did it in the bathroom while in that house. Oh, and my bedroom didn't have a lock on it if you guys wondered why I just didn't lock the door!

 

:shock:

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my roommate walked in while i was giving head :(

he didn't see anything because i tossed a blanket around my boyfriend's waist and kinda just pretended i was laying with him... yet my head was still in his lap and my feet were hanging off the couch

 

uuuuuuuh

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LOL!!! WW, that would be taking ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww to a whole new level. 'scuse me while I sterilize my brain!

 

I've met some cute guys that I would loooove to walk in on :)

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sorry lorne...

 

was just trying to propose something new to you :)

 

you should try all, at least once :P

 

:ww:

  • Like 1
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