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Free Dad Hugs' at Pride Show the Lasting Effect Parents' Rejection Can Have on LGBTQ Kids


Steve

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Dad Hugs.jpgAll across the country, people are talking about Scott Dittman's hugs.  The Pennsylvania dad, wearing a "Free Dad Hugs" shirt he bought on Amazon, gave more than 700 hugs at the Pittsburgh Pride Parade last week, offering tenderness to those who wanted it and to many who seemed they needed it. 

"There were a lot of folks who were super-happy, who grabbed you and squeezed you and gave you a slap on the back. But there's a segment of folks that held on so long, where the hug was so deep, who started to hug and began to cry," he said.

"A lot of these folks were having a great time, but you can see how damaged deep down so many of them are. In such a festive environment they see a shirt, and it's like a complete gut punch, and it reflects the pain that's always there, the pain that they're carrying all the time."

Dittman, who attended the event with a friend working with the LGBTQ advocacy group Free Mom Hugs, posted about his experience on Facebook, imploring parents of LGBTQ kids to accept and love their children. The post went viral, highlighting the problem of parental rejection among LGBTQ people. 

More than one in four young LGBT people say parents and relatives who don’t accept them are their biggest problem, according to a Human Rights Campaign survey. Research shows family rejection can cause significant harm to people who identify as LGBTQ, contributing to higher rates of physical and mental health problems, including suicide, depression and HIV infection.

According to research from the Family Acceptance Project, lesbian, gay and bisexual young adults who reported higher levels of family rejection during adolescence were:

  • 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide.
  • 5.9 times more likely to report high levels of depression.
  • 3.4 times more likely to use illegal drugs.
  • 3.4 times more likely to report having engaged in unprotected sexual intercourse.

Advocates say parents who affirm their children's identity can save their lives. When family is accepting of an LGBTQ adolescent or young adult, it can provide a lasting protective influence, decreasing the risk of substance abuse, depression and suicidal behavior. 

"Just one affirming family member can make all the difference," said Liz Owen, director of communications for PFLAG National, the first and largest organization for the parents, families and allies of LGBTQ people. 

When Dittman returned home from Pride, his wife asked how it went. 

"I told her it was an incredible experience, but it also made me feel so pissed off," he said. "As a parent, you saw them take their first steps, you cried when they first said 'I love you,' you were there for those milestones. Then you're going to cut them off because they love someone? Whether it's religion or personal beliefs, I just can't see any justification for that." 

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(edited)

That is really sweet.

I personally never had any real problems, although surprisingly enough my dad took it a lot better than my mum.

But I have a friend who was totally cut off by his family, and he did have a really hard time coping with it. Luckily (if it can be called "luck") he was an independent adult when he finally came out to his parents, so he did not land on the street, like many teenagers do.

 

(On a less serious note, I'd sure love to hug Mr Dittman in a more private setting, if you catch my drift)

Edited by majikthis
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